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  1. #1
    GloriousDisease's Avatar
    GloriousDisease is offline PUA in Training
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    Default HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Hi guys,

    First of all i am aware that this question does not really belong in a pickup forum but it is thanks to your advice and knowledge that i have met and conquered the heart the girl of my dreams.

    I have a uncountered problem and i dont know how to deal with it. Let me set up the scene for you.

    I am a student in guitar building and i have moved into a flat with a new roommate. He's a good lookin chap, has travelled a lot and is genuinly a interesting person.

    My girlfriend has started being able to stay at my place 3 days a week and she has (obviously) met my flatmate.

    I sense her being attracted by him.

    Before interesting myself to PU i studied a little body language and so far i have observed my GF whilst talking to him: twirling her hair, her foot orientated in his direction, and...well damn it, i've been with her for two years and i can feel in my guts something is wrong. What kind of confirmed it to me was a discussion we had that came on to how fast the ice had broken between them. She agreed to this with a small yes, a hint of a embarased smile and her eyes suddenly looking down to her knees.

    On the other hand i have not seen any sign of attitude, behaviourly changes from her towards me. I might even say a little more affection coming from her (and i know thats not always a good sign.)

    As final data i will add that these events are spred out over 48 hours, give or take...




    So once more i cry for your HELP: how do i deal with this? So far i have not brought this up to her for I cannot figure ou how to maintain High value AND get her/him to back off.

    (Althrough I was tempted by saying a little "he's cute isn't he" when she looked down and away from me when talking about the ice breaking)


    HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP
    Here it is, right now, think about it and you miss it.

  2. #2
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Gonna need to provide more details for any help man, another thing is a girl can't help to who she is attracted to, one thing would to confront him about it IMO
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  3. #3
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Sounds like you got your work cut out for you buddy. I would suggest to stop being so dang needy and fretting about nothing. There is plenty hot women who want Marriage and you sound like you have settled on this girl. My suggestions is to start being attracted to other girls and talk to her about it when this thing happens. Try to give yourself options and maybe meet other chicks since things are starting to turn sour and she senses your bitterness. I would imagine she may be perfect for you in your mind but in her mind it may be completely different.

    So ask her if she thinks of you as a soulmate to maybe deepen the connection. Girls will leave when their emotional needs are not being met and some guy is able to offer them a greener pasture elsewhere they love those potential prospects. Make a more affirmative stand within yourself so you save yourself any heartbreak. I am not against marriage I just believe people don't typically have the capacity to see it through thick and thin and statistically 68% of women file for divorce so you can imagine most relationship issues may not come from the male being happy. If you can't make her happy you are done and time to move on but work it out if you want.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  4. #4
    JackSarge's Avatar
    JackSarge is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Your issue is mostly inner game and Oneitis. I am holding off on Marriage for a while myself so I can learn to be a good lover before I learn how to be a husband. I think too many guys fall head over heels in love and their insecurities of losing the girl are paramount driving force to bad inner game. Granted monogamy is cool but not if you are getting played.

    I don't like when guys lose themselves to a woman. They become so weak and insecure this is not love it is fear. Love knows no fear and will live to see the other person freely choose to love in return. If you loved her you wouldn't fear of losing her because you would know you can always fall in love again. Maybe you just think this is your only shot but unless you are engaged stop giving it so much attention. You are putting salt on a old wound and I think you would benefit from talking to other hot girls if she is showing signs of breaking trust. Bottom line if she loves you as a soulmate she would treat you as the only one and not act like that. She is clearly thinking in other directions.
    When you let go of your feelings you can really then embrace your surroundings
    Love is a game that's why I don't worry about it anymore. When you let go of your feelings you find your meaning.
    -Capn_Jack

  5. #5
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Honestly she might not even like the guy like that. Most often it's just the girl's way of trying to show you that someone still finds her attractive and she has options(basically to make you jealous). All you have to do now is not be needy and be the man.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    You dont have anything to worry about unless she actually crosses that border and ends your relationship. Everything that might be a solution for you would be unfair to her in using it because she hasnt done anything to jealordize how you feel. Just because she feels attracted to a guy doesnt mean she has a choice in it. If shes with you in a commited relationship then she as much as you should realize how much you both are responsible for each others feelings. Making her guilt trip because you feel jealous is a low move because it sets the idea up that she should only have eyes for you. While thats true in one sense for a commited relationship people cant control their primal wiring especially if theyre attracted to some body instantly when they recignize those thoughts and feelings.

    I would say as a mind set you should consider in doing to set things straight if she starts to stray would be to be open to talk to more attractive women IF SHE STARTS TO MAKE HER ADVANCES TOWARD A GUY WHEN SHE KNOWS HOW IT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL. That to me is the only time you should start applying pua external game principals like talking to other women.
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  7. #7
    GloriousDisease's Avatar
    GloriousDisease is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: HELP! How do i deal with this?

    Guys... your replies are much deeper than I dared to expect and you have given me some perspectives I had not yet considered. I need a bit of time for all this to sink in. I'll get back to you.



    ...thanks.
    Here it is, right now, think about it and you miss it.


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