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Thread: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

  1. #11
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Dude it sounds like she is REALLY into you. Who cares what she says? Don't let it faze you at all. Sometimes girls will bring up other guys just to see how you react. Don't acknowledge it and don't get into a conversation with her about it. Just nod your head and continue doing what you're doing. Don't let it affect you. You're the one messing around with her, not them.

    You need to start escalating however. The sooner you f-close the better. You need to get her to a private location where the two of you can be alone. I don't think you will have any trouble with this. It sounds like she already wants it bad.

    If you can't get her alone for some reason start touching her in more sexual places when you make out with her. Another thing I like to do is tell her to walk in front of me then stare at her ass. She will ask you what you're doing and you tell her that you're looking at her ass and its very nice! Women love this (If you're already messing around with them) and it will bring the conversation/interaction to a more sexual level. Keep up the good work!

  2. #12
    xHITCHx's Avatar
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Thank you for the great insight Direct, it means a lot.
    After the teacher ruining her mood for the day mixed with all the talk of other guys and using Tinder I was feeling pretty defeated today myself. But our first date was perfect and the first half of class before the aforementioned was perfect. Should I have kiss closed when me and my friend walked her to the gym?. She was still in a kinda bad mood and was rushing ahead of us because our bus was late, then said "bye gentlemen" which kinda had me feeling friend zoned/beta. The confusing thing is how into me she has been since yesterday and today.. After the gym she texted me asking where me and my friend/wingman where, so I asked her out for coffee as a statement not a question ("go home and shower, I'm taking you out for coffee"), and just me and her - to isolate her from the usual three of us. She said "what no lol" to which I replied "just me and you ". Then she said "I'm tired lol". I told her "alright, sweet dreams" and she texted back "sorry". After that I texted her back a little later telling her she owed me our second date (smiley face). She is missing our class tomorrow for volunteer work so I won't have a chance to game her unless we have plans over this weekend.
    Help!

    PS: You guys are damn awesome in helping me throughout my first breakthrough as a PUA / breaking free from AFC.
    PPS: Thank you for reading my questions/field reports and giving me some really valuable advice!
    Last edited by xHITCHx; 09-18-2014 at 09:57 PM. Reason: Spelling
    "Fidelio"

  3. #13
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Haha, I hate when girls do that. She's trying to either gauge out a reaction from you and or she wants to know how much she means to you. Don't react like the AFC and ban her from using tinder. Don't even bother with it. You do your game and she'll get the message.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    You're doing good.

    Let her do the "hot boy" talk. Don't feel intimidated. Take it as a challenge. Remember, you aren't even exclusive yet. Even if you were, it is perfectly normal to find other people attractive. It doesn't mean she's gonna jump on those other guys.

    Same goes for you. Don't be afraid to give her the "hot girl" talk. If she's as forward as you say, it's highly possible that she will get jealous (but a good jealous) and realize that you might go off the market with someone else any second.

    If she was shy, that might have backfired because shy girls often feel insecure about themselves. However, assuming your girl is the confident type, it's likely for her to see the other girls as a challenge in getting you.

    And having a babe fighting to get you, my friend, is one of the best feelings in the world.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow here everybody!
    I texted her today and it went OK I guess, we just exchanged some small talk about the day since we were apart (I stayed home from class and she had volunteering instead of class). I was hoping she would ask me out for our second date today but our text convo ended as she was leaving for the gym and I haven't heard from her since. She was watching a movie before she left and I said "Nice I've never seen that" and that was it for today's ending. Should I continue to wait for her response / asking me out this weekend? I haven't initiated any of our texting conversations yet, although we've only had two so far and the rest of our action has been in person and with my friend/wingman in our company. I'm hoping I can isolate her sooner than later as I don't want to lose her interest or for her to think that when we hang it'll always be the three of us as friends with a bit of action for me when my friend is gone (she asked me today "What u guys doing?" although she didn't know that I wasn't in class with my friend today). This has been a pretty confusing first endeavour into the world of PUA / breaking free of AFC and I'd love to keep building this relationship with your guy's mastery!
    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
    Last edited by xHITCHx; 09-19-2014 at 08:28 PM. Reason: spelling
    "Fidelio"

  6. #16
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Sorry for the double post!
    I texted her this morning after not hearing back from when I texted her "nice I've never seen that" - to the movie she was watching. I figured I'd send her a "cute" good morning text that was completely unrelated to yesterday with "good morning cutie", but she never replied at all.
    Am I screwed for no reason?. I feel terrible . . .
    Last edited by xHITCHx; 09-20-2014 at 10:07 PM. Reason: Spelling
    "Fidelio"

  7. #17
    xHITCHx's Avatar
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    So today was probably the worst day ever . . .
    I never heard back from her for the good morning text, and she was really weird today on the bus, on the way to class and in class.
    She was completely opposite from what she has been even though she still showed some interest.Apparently she told my friend that she met a funny guy at the bar she worked at on the weekend.
    Then she told me that she was texting me on the weekend (which she didn't) and that I was replying to her.
    weird a** lie.
    I told her that I didn't and she seemed kind of hurt / angry (which seems pretty crazy to me).
    In just a few days time she's went from acting like my gf to basically wanting me dead.
    Needless to say I'm confused and hurt as hell and could really use an explanation from you fine fellas.
    "Fidelio"

  8. #18
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Sounds like she wanted your explicit attention at some point and when she didn't get what she wanted, she went nuts.

    Being distant/cold is the auto-pilot response for most women when they don't get what they want from you. Which is actually nothing to be afraid of.

    But lying about this? Well, I don't know about you but that's a huge red flag for me. If she makes a big deal out of the smallest slip-ups, if she lies often, gets hurt without reason, well you can complete the picture. That sounds emotionally unstable.

    And no man, sadly, I don't do sugarcoat, but us bros always have your back.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Hitch,

    Here are some facts...

    A girl's investment level in you will fluctuate during the time you know her. There are going to be days she will seem distant and there are going to be days she's into you. I've been through this so many times. We don't know what is going on in their lives or in their heads.

    Live by the 10/90 rule. 90% of the time, it is on her. This means don't let anxiety get to you and make you second guess yourself "Oh my god, what could I have done differently?" Anxiety = anti-confidence.

    This girl seems to have a "tester" mentality. She likes guys and she is receptive to other guys. This means if she finds a guy who is has passive value (good looking and money and status) chances are you are going to lose no matter how good your game is.

    How I deal with these kind of girls is I go out and meet and work on other women. Create an abundance mentality. Right now you seem to have a scarcity mindset, which is why you are so invested in this girl and so reactive by the way she acts. When you have an abundance mentality, you are not throwing your eggs in one basket. When you have 3 to 5 girls in your rotation, you don't feel the need/urge/compulsion to text her and worry whether you get a response or not. Your passion and your investment is just spread out and other girls are keeping your mind busy.

    I've been in your shoes before and this doesn't look promising with this girl. As Wolf said, red flags are popping up early and you barely know her. Imagine once you do! Also, if a girl is friendly and flirty with you but not chasing you, then you are not the only one she does this to.

    I recommend that you slowly detach yourself emotionally now before you get any more invested and hurt. You can continue to game her but stick to the rule to mirror her and stay as invested and as attached as she is. If you feel that you are doing all the work, then chances are you are.

  10. #20
    xHITCHx's Avatar
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    Default Re: IOIs VS Friendliness: What's the Difference?

    Thank you guys, I appreciate all of the support and the honesty of your posts.
    Joining this forum has definitely made a huge change in my life and fills me with positivity and hope that I can be the best form of myself possible and live life to the fullest.
    I like to think I mirrored her and played it pretty damn cool today even though it took a lot to just even take the usual bus together to class there and back and actually be present in class.
    Each day is starting to feel worse than the last, like I hit a high note and then faded out to nothing.
    I definitely agree with me having a Scarcity Mindset, although I tried not to invest too heavily but after all the action and romance so soon I felt I had no choice or control over the matter.
    I will try my best to continue to mirror her as I did today and keep things light and playful as if they don't bother me (which is a really miserable existence).
    I stupidly texted her again today since I left class early to tell her about her earrings that she always loves that I notice - but again, no response back at all.
    Thank you all again for guiding me through my first attempt at a better way of life through PUA.
    I'll post more updates as I see fit if there is any other events or acts of hope still hanging out there.
    "Fidelio"


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