I frequent a place. The purpose of the place is not social, but it is social. I know the subject of the place, I take command, I teach, motivate, encourage. Everyone respects me. I am their go-to guy.
I told myself I would not pursue any women in this place because I did not want any chance of causing someone to avoid the place if it went South.
A hot chick showed up, but knowing she was going through a messy divorce, I steered clear. She is serious and distant, but lit up to me one day, started encouraging and complimenting me, asking advice on the place, then on her resume, then gave me a related book with her phone number on it with a hand drawn heart. I'm thinking "WTF? Is she hitting on me? Or is this just girl-speak?" I wasn't sure, so I kept a log of our interactions so I could watch it.
I know about inner game / confidence / alpha male / thing instinctively, but I've never studied PUA, so I never got smooth at it. I'd wing it and sometimes bomb in the seduction phase or the F-close - as in, right before I'd slide in.
She invites me into a semi-private room at the place. "You've got to be shitting me. She doesn't do this with anyone. She has to be flirting." I'm not accustomed to flirts from serious girls, only the outgoing, party types. I accept. Unsure, my choice of subjects is both serious and light to test the waters, but I touch her while emphasizing points to flirt. She doesn't recoil, but doesn't warm. I wanted to K-close, but could not figure out if it was right. Wasn't mentally prepared.
Before the place closed, I mentioned feeling great and having an abundance of energy. I say goodbye to her at her car. She responds with that melody in a woman's voice every man loves to hear and calls me "energizer bunny". Was she warming to me?
"I am breaking my rule. I can't let possibility pass by."
I text her my phone number and sign it "energizer bunny". She texts back that she is dancing at an outdoor concert. Perplexed, I wait a few hours before I text back. "Sounds groovy". In the morning, I conclude she invited me to dance with her. I kick myself for not recognizing it, even though there was no way I could have got there.
There was another concert a few days later, but I couldn't get there either. I scrapped my day schedule, packed an overnight bag, and arrived at the place with the intent of her driving us to the concert, then back to her place. It took me out of dominance, but I had no other options. I saw her that day but didn't mention it to her because I hated the plan.
I needed to get her alone to find out, but how? I needed to be in control. I know women like that and I was slipping. Several days later, I left a voicemail asking if she'd like to go out afterwards. She texts back that I'm an "awesome friend" and she'll take a raincheck.
The F-word: friend.
I was livid because I either misread her or did something wrong or didn't act when I should have. I don't know which.
I saw her a few days later. She was distant. When we spoke about an unrelated subject, she looked at me and repeated "Whatever. Whatever. Whatever." I knew this wasn't about the subject, but was it about me? After an hour of pondering, I figured I misread her and she was pissed I asked her out. Before I left, I apologized and told her I didn't want any weirdness between us and that I valued her. She never looked at me the entire time but accepted my apology.
Did I misread her? Or did I read her right but piss her off because I didn't respond to her advances quickly or correctly? Who cares? Why did I apologize for asking her out? That's retarded. Maybe she had a bad day and I made it worse by acting stupid. I couldn't tell, so I couldn't figure out what to do.
A week later, I decide to try again with the gloss-over. I text an interesting link and hope she is doing well. She responds with "great" and some other stuff. I still couldn't read her.
Another week passes. I return her book to the place, text her the notice. "Thanks".
So here I am. Even if I misread her, there was nothing there, it's dead, but at least I acted. I'd never forgive myself I didn't at least try.
If I read her right, I fumbled. How do I recover without appearing desperate? I want her chasing me, not the other way around. I won't do that. Women are not prizes, but bonuses.
I hit the 'net and came across Vin's site. I learned about the "8 types" and pegged this gal as the "Connoisseur". Makes sense. She lived in a rich neighborhood, drives a nice car, acts classy. Very helpful. I needed to get inside her head to know what makes her tick. That's why I couldn't read her - I didn't know who I was talking to!
More netting and Mr. Locario. There are different analysis and tactics, but all complimentary. I posted my scenario here to see what else comes up.
I need to work on my game, but placed it on the "very near future" of my to-do list. This experience taught me the psychological is the ONLY thing that matters, that it can be studied NOW even if I don't practice. That's when I realized I need help from my PUA brothers, and maybe even a coach. That's when I realized I can master the game and make it happen instead of fumbling into it like this experience. That's when I realized that I am ready RIGHT NOW.