So, I have been "studying" PUA for almost 2 years now with moderate success. It's not so bad when you consider where I am coming from (wimpy, shy nerd). I am still amazed I managed to have a 3-year relationship in my life.
I have lost weight, I renewed my wardrobe, people now compliment me on how good I look, I have improved my social skills and can hold all sorts of conversations. I have been on many many dates and I can number*close quite easily. I can also approach strangers in the street with little approach anxiety.
Now, I have not managed to kiss any of the girls I have dated. The main areas where I still suck are kino and sexual escalation.
I cannot understand where my flaws originate from. Yes, I do the mistake of waiting for a sign before making a move. Yes, I do not have a very aggressive sexual temperament (I tried to force myself but it does not work, it's not congruent with my personality).
Sure, I can be very kinky but it only works once I have spent some time knowing the girl, and things unfortunately end before I get to that stage.
Another issue is that I may be dating for the sake of dating, without considering whether I am really into the girl. It could be that the lack of genuine attraction is holding me back.
Anyway, despite not getting laid, I am very happy with my progress. I feel good about myself but I am still looking for new ways to improve. It's a personal challenge to become the confident person I always wanted to be.
Now, here's the thing. I have come to the realization that most women still don't see me as a potential partner. It's as if I am inadequate as a man and that I am below anyone's standards. So, despite my decent situation, I realize it's still not enough.
I was at a dinner with some friends/colleagues of mine the other day. The majority of them were women and they were complaining how they were not any good men left. Whenever they were talking about a guy, one would ask "is he single?". Then, they were fantasizing about this tall good-looking married dude. From what I know, these girls have all been single for some time now.
This situation is particularly frustrating as they have a decent eligible male in front of them and they don't give a fark about him. This situation has already happened to me before and I really want to bang my hands on the table and yell "hellooooo, I am here ya know".
To be honest, of the girls that were sitting at the table, there's at least 3 of them that I would be interested in dating. Really a shame...
However, I think there's much to be done here, so I am not even considering flirting with them. I know when a girl is attracted to me. With those 3, it's zero, zilch, nil, nought, nothing. I can't even see the slightest sign of interest. I have learned from experience that it's very hard to make a girl change her mind if she's not attracted to you from the very beginning. Moreover, since they are colleagues of sorts (we don't work together but gossip flies fast), I don't even want to risk getting the embarrassment of rejection.
No problem, I move to the next target. The issue is how they see me. I really need to do something about that.
Do you guys have any advice for me?
What could help me for my specific situation?
Someone said I am not looking at the right place. I have tried all sorts of meet-ups and most of my dates came from these, but they were failures in the end (for various reasons, not only because of my game). I am also sick of the whole process to be honest.