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Thread: Did distance kill my chance, or did I?

  1. #1
    Sterling is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Did distance kill my chance, or did I?

    Took a girl out this past weekend on our second date, and I had thought it went really well at the time. We had some interesting conversation, her body language was positive, she laughed at pretty much all my jokes, and she didn't reject my kino. So when I got home, I texted her:

    Me: Had a great time with you. Let's meet up for dinner sometime this week.
    Her: Okay, I'll be there

    The next day, I texted her a short little message just to see how she was doing. No response. I didn't get bent out of shape about it, and opted not to text her the next day thinking maybe she was just busy or something was wrong with her phone.

    So I text her this morning asking when she'll be free for our next date, and still don't get a response. This is where I knew something was up. I then notice my Twitter has 1 less follower - her.

    She still hasn't sent me anything back yet, and it doesn't seem like she's going to. I keep replaying our date in my head, and I can't think of a single thing wrong that I did to make her go from hot to ice cold so quickly (Although I didn't kiss her at the end of the 2nd date, and maybe that's where I went wrong?).

    I have so many questions, but the biggest ones are these:

    1.) Is it a done deal and I should just reciprocate her gesture of cutting me off?
    2.) If it's salvageable, where should I go from here?

    It's also worth noting that I'll be moving to a new city next month, and so I want to just chalk it up to her not wanting to get attached to me right before I have to take off. That said, she told me she has plans to move to the same city within the next few months or so, which is the only reason I think I may have a fraction of a chance to turn this around later down the road.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did distance kill my chance, or did I?

    Your text messages sounded just like what every other guy would send her.

    "I had a great time.... let's meet up again sometime.... when are you available?..." etc.

    Be more original & use recall from your previous "date" to spark a more fun vibe. Then SELL the future get-together.

    Not sure what you did for the 2nd date, but here's an example: (As if you went to an amusement park)

    "Hey Coaster Queen, had a blast! Margaritas this Friday... Do you do frozen or on the rocks? "

    Let her reply...

    Then your next message. "OK, Margaritas with lots of chips & Salsa. Friday evening, 7:07."

    Also- continue keeping in touch every day until the date. Going silent can cause you to lose momentum & give her time to change her mind.

    If you're not sure what to say every day to hold her interest, then you need to LEARN. That will help your game tremendously.

    If she un-followed you AND not responding, then don't spin your wheels. Let it go, move on, and keep progressing with someone else.


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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Did distance kill my chance, or did I?

    If the date went really well I think it's because you didn't kiss her so she nexted you. You should kiss on the first date period. You can wait for the second date if you want but after that your chances plummet.

    I think if you had better text game you MIGHT have been able to salvage this, like T-Mal said, but if you just kissed her it wouldn't matter. Text game can help allot, but if you are awesome in person and can escalate when needed, your text game can be subpar and you will do just fine.

    I think it was mostly the fact you didn't go for the kiss, then your bad texts afterwards sealed the deal in her mind. I REALLY like to follow up with this text after a date. I'll wait until I know she's gotten home then I message "Hey (nickname). I hope you made it home safe." or if there's allot of traffic "Holy traffic batman! I hope you made it home safe". Any other variation will work.

    You'd be surprised how many guys don't make sure their date gets home. Women will swoon over this type of behavior and you're showing them that you care.

  4. #4
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did distance kill my chance, or did I?

    There's NO reason to not go for the kiss. Unless YOU don't want to.
    Otherwise, you have to assume she wants you to kiss her. If the spark isn't there & she doesn't let you kiss her, then you know right away it's time to move on, improve your game & work on the next one.



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