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  • 2 Post By I.M.Mortal

Thread: When she won't kiss you

  1. #1
    backinthegame91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default When she won't kiss you

    I was on a first date that was going very well. She was complimenting me frequently, laughing at pretty much all my jokes, and occassionally playfully hitting me in the arm.

    She's 20, and she told me about how she had her mom come pick her up from her last date because the guy was such a creep, but she let me drive her from the restaurant we met at to an ice cream shop in her town.

    We had been on the date for about 3.5 hours at this point. While on a bench, she gave me a compliment that went like "I really like how you're not afraid to take the lead with things". I said, "You like when I take the lead? Well then." And I went in to kiss her.

    She dodged and recoiled away from me. "I can't believe you tried to kiss me", she said. Then she apologized and said that the date has been going really well. She told me she dodged me because she's a bad kisser, so we need to take it slow. I said that's totally fine.

    We hung out for another hour, and I told her I should probably head home. I dropped her off and walked her to her door, being sure to keep my distance because I didn't want her to think I was trying to kiss her. I said good night, and she said let me give you a real good night. She comes up to me and hugs me, pecks me on the cheek, and then gives me a really quick, awkward peck on the lips. She then made me promise we'd hang out again. I reluctantly accepted since she was being pretty weird.

    We had our second date a couple days ago, and I at no point tried to kiss her. At the end she says "Don't be mad at me for not kissing you again. I'm glad we're taking it slow", even though I didn't try at all on this date.

    What should I do to get a kiss? She's only dated one other guy, so perhaps she really is a bad kisser. I"m thinking when we go on date #3 I might reverse it on her and at the beginning of the date say something like "Now don't you go thinking you're getting a kiss tonight. I want things to be nice and slow with us."

    Should I even try to kiss her on date #3 or wait till date #4 or later? I'm used to kissing (and then some) on the first date when it goes well, so she's throwing me off here. I must be dealing with a prude.

    I think if I don't get a kiss I'll end up in the friend zone. Or maybe if she won't kiss me by date #5 I should friend zone her. I have options. It's a shame though since she's very pretty and I like her, except for recoiling from me.

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    What should I do to get a kiss? She's only dated one other guy, so perhaps she really is a bad kisser. I"m thinking when we go on date #3 I might reverse it on her and at the beginning of the date say something like "Now don't you go thinking you're getting a kiss tonight. I want things to be nice and slow with us."
    I wouldn't say that second part. That is supplicating too much and you want to maintain your frame and be dominant. I would disqualify her playfully.

    Should I even try to kiss her on date #3 or wait till date #4 or later? I'm used to kissing (and then some) on the first date when it goes well, so she's throwing me off here. I must be dealing with a prude.
    You are dealing with a prude, but not that much of a prude because at least she gave you a kiss on the lips (the way she was comfortable with). I dealt with worst. Every girl is different, so remember the 10/90 rule. 90 percent of the time it is her. It's certainly not on you. She is showing major interest in you, so girls like this you will have to get into some deep rapport with rather than shallow small talks. Ask her some challenging deep rapport questions. Also, don't set a time frame that you need to kiss her by X date, the kiss will come once you deal with her LMR.

    I think if I don't get a kiss I'll end up in the Friend Zone. Or maybe if she won't kiss me by date #5 I should friend zone her. I have options. It's a shame though since she's very pretty and I like her, except for recoiling from me.
    You are overthinking this way too much. From what you've described, you are no where close to being in the friendzone. If you like her, then just wing it, don't set expectations, and don't let the fact a girl who doesn't kiss you reflect on you. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you any less.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    I.M. has some very good points. I personally would have went for the kiss again during the first date. Allot of women will deny you the first time to test you. It doesn't matter how "prude" she is, it's just a kiss.

    It sounds like a massive shit test too me. I've never had this problem even if the girl is waiting for marriage to lose her v-card. Kissing isn't a big deal whatsoever.

    If a girl denies me when I try and kiss her I laugh and give her a shit eaten grin. I don't let it faze me. If she's still giving you the green light I go for it again, and again, and again. Allot of times girls will give you resistance to see how you react. It doesn't mean they don't want too.

  4. #4
    backinthegame91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    Quote Originally Posted by I.M.Mortal View Post
    I wouldn't say that second part. That is supplicating too much and you want to maintain your frame and be dominant. I would disqualify her playfully.
    I thought that I was being playful there. How would you say that more playfully, if you don't mind me asking?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I.M. has some very good points. I personally would have went for the kiss again during the first date. Allot of women will deny you the first time to test you. It doesn't matter how "prude" she is, it's just a kiss.

    If a girl denies me when I try and kiss her I laugh and give her a shit eaten grin. I don't let it faze me. If she's still giving you the green light I go for it again, and again, and again. Allot of times girls will give you resistance to see how you react. It doesn't mean they don't want too.
    Actually when she apologized for not kissing me, I told her "Well, it's not too late to make it up to me." She persisted with "Well I would, it's just that I'm bad kisser." "I don't mind", I said. She didn't take the bait.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    Quote Originally Posted by backinthegame91 View Post
    Actually when she apologized for not kissing me, I told her "Well, it's not too late to make it up to me." She persisted with "Well I would, it's just that I'm bad kisser." "I don't mind", I said. She didn't take the bait.

    That's not bait. No matter what she says you go for it again. You don't "talk her into it". You just go for it. The "I'm a bad kisser" is just an excuse. I've made out with many girls that were bad kissers. If they weren't doing what I wanted I told them to stop, then told them what they should do. You're the man, you need to lead.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    Quote Originally Posted by backinthegame91 View Post


    Actually when she apologized for not kissing me, I told her "Well, it's not too late to make it up to me." She persisted with "Well I would, it's just that I'm bad kisser." "I don't mind", I said. She didn't take the bait.
    If it's really like that then she may require a little kick in the pants with a jealousy plotline. Next time you talk to her, mention running into a long lost female friend or some other semi intimate experience with another woman. Don't overdo it. Just a short mention to get her wheels turning that maybe she'd better step up her timetable before a less inhibited woman takes you. I know one guy who flat out tells girls that he to busy to offer more than a short of window of opportunity. It's eerie how he lays on time constraints but they work.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    She doesn't really know whether she is a BAD kisser or not if she has not had much experience....what she is communicating is that she is INEXPERIENCED with kissing. She's not purposefully trying to sh!t test you, she is revealing her insecurity and defaulting to 'lets take it slow'. Next time kiss her and overide her excuses. If she keeps pushing you away from the lips start kissing her neck and ears etc. Practice makes perfect. Just be persistent and if she is still an ice queen move on.

  8. #8
    backinthegame91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    Quote Originally Posted by SiliconMagician View Post
    If it's really like that then she may require a little kick in the pants with a jealousy plotline. Next time you talk to her, mention running into a long lost female friend or some other semi intimate experience with another woman. Don't overdo it. Just a short mention to get her wheels turning that maybe she'd better step up her timetable before a less inhibited woman takes you. I know one guy who flat out tells girls that he to busy to offer more than a short of window of opportunity. It's eerie how he lays on time constraints but they work.
    Nice, I'd be interested to know exactly how he phrases his time tables. "One of my old highschool friends is moving back from somewhereville next month, and me and her were always really close. Can't wait to catch up with her..."

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
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    Default Re: When she won't kiss you

    You can always say something like: "well, lucky you to have me as your new teacher. Later we'll discusse my fee. for now, lesson number 1."


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