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Thread: Seeing a stripper on the side

  1. #1
    The_Source is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Seeing a stripper on the side

    Hey guys, I'm new to this forum but have known of the PUA community and some techniques for some time. Sorry about the wall of text below but I'd be very grateful to anyone who takes the time to read it and offers any constructive criticism or advice.

    A little bit about me - I'm 27 years old, consider myself to be fairly good looking and I have a family (partner and a child). I love my partner and have been faithful for 7 years, but feel like a monogamous relationship is not enough for me (we've actually talked about this and she understands).

    If a PUA was a 10 and an AFC a 1, I'd say I'm about a 5... I'm not a skilled PUA by a any means and I can improve in a lot of areas, but I'm not a complete AFC either.

    Anyway, I decided that I would go out and find someone(s) to have no-strings-attached sex with. I'm out of town about once a month with work - a perfect opportunity. So, I suited up and went to a strip club, and end up number-closing a HB10 who may be one of the sexiest girls I've ever seen.

    The next night, we are having sex, and it goes great. We agree to meet up again next time I'm in town.

    A few weeks later, after texting a bit, we do meet up but it's her time of the month, so we watch a movie and she's real cuddly. We sleep together and it feels like I have built a lot of comfort. Two nights after she wants to see me but is working so she invites me to come down. I go and have a few drinks and we chat and then agree to meet when she finishes. It should be noted that I have not spent any money on her at all in this whole saga. Also, I feel like I'm not on my best game here and I make some silly DLVs by accident but i got over these (or so I thought) and closed well.

    So, 4am, her shift ends and I hear nothing, I text a simple "u ok?" And get nothing, then I call and she has turned off her phone. So, I'm a little confused but guess she's just tired after work or found something else she wants to do and I let it go.

    I text her the next day and she says she was tired, and again we arrange to meet up next time I'm in town. Texts are sporadic over the next couple of weeks and when I phone her she doesn't answer. So I'm beginning to get the message and send the last resort text, to which she doesn't respond.

    Anyway, next time I'm in town I go back to the club, and I see her there and we talk and I act cool about the whole scenario. I feel like the thing has run its course, and then I go to work on a different stripper (HB9) and end up number-closing her and arranging to meet after her shift.

    Then I go to leave and pass my original target on the way out, I say, so i guess I won't be seeing you for a long time, and she makes a sad face and she cuddles me and she won't let me go. I mean, this cuddle feels like she's trying to tell me something. I start to break off but she carries on and when we eventually break we maintain solid eye contact for a few seconds after. I tell her to text me if she wants to see me, and not to if she doesn't, she says okay. Now, this was 5 days ago, and she hasn't text yet.

    I'm back in town next week and I want to know what you guys think I should do - if I should text her something fun and try to restart communications or if I should just turn up at the club and hope she is there...

    I have the other stripper to fall back on, but trying to use her to get to the other one is a dangerous game, it's not fair on either of them, and it's a game I'd rather not play.

    Appreciate your time guys

  2. #2
    bi11ydakid13 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Well she is a stripper and she makes hard contact with many men just means it ran it's course she might have met a man who was more alpha or just saw u weren't spending money. Let it go concentrate on HB9 it's a ride enjoy it and when it ends accept it and prepare for the next one. SHE Is A stripper it had t eventually end.

  3. #3
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    What basically happened here is this in terms of the game:

    This girl was into you probably because you have passive value due to your good looks. If the girl wasn't into you or on the fence, she usually drop the whole "I don't date customers" line. But the fact that she broke her professional ethics and went out with you, demonstrated she liked you.

    She was far up phases in terms of the classic M3 model. Having said that, you didn't have to work hard to generate attraction and get your foot in the door.

    What happened was your foot was in the door, but you failed to keep it there. You even said so yourself that there were moments you screwed up and DLVed yourself. In terms of PUA techniques, you probably did more DON'Ts then DO's and ultimately ended up beta in her eyes.

    So, 4am, her shift ends and I hear nothing, I text a simple "u ok?"
    For example, this is a chump text. Things like this lowers your value. The alpha frame and a guy of high value doesn't need to ask that. 1) It doesn't reflect your confidence 2) You are fishing for a response because you need that reassurance. A man of high value/status who has a lot of girls doesn't give a sh1t.

    This happens to a lot of guys. When a girl is into them, they get lazy or they don't know PUA game and shoot themselves in the foot. The guys who are able to keep the girls who are into them, they are able break rapport and continue to demonstrate value to keep the girls chasing them, all the while generate positive good emotions in the girl.

    In your case, it is too late for that. When the girl is first to break rapport with you because you lost value to them, there is really no way to recover. If you continue to show her interest, you will only devalue yourself more in her eyes. It will put you in the "Chaser" frame.

    You can go ahead and try and send something funny, but I wouldn't put any stock in that. I never seen it work. The only time it works is when the girl is already invested deeply in the relationship. In this case, it was just a fling. So My best advice to you is back off and freeze her out. Get good at PUA before you make an attempt because there is no point in doing it right now.

    Being in a LTR will kill your game. It's like being a domesticated animal and now you can't hunt. If you are serious, then start investing in yourself and learn.

    One of the things you don't want to do is keep gaming strippers in the same venue. I know that world very well and the girls talk. Not a good idea. The concept of pre-selection doesn't work well in a strip club where it is a pay to play world.

  4. #4
    The_Source is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    @billythekid13 - Thanks for the response - you are probably right and it has run it's course, and I've just let her get under my skin a little - I am a bit confused as to why she would just stop responding for no obvious reason when things seemed to be going well... Could be another dude. Looking back, I think that my texting in between our meets was a bit on the dull side as well, so I'll not let that happen again.

  5. #5
    The_Source is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Quote Originally Posted by I.M.Mortal View Post
    What basically happened here is this in terms of the game:

    This girl was into you probably because you have passive value due to your good looks. If the girl wasn't into you or on the fence, she usually drop the whole "I don't date customers" line. But the fact that she broke her professional ethics and went out with you, demonstrated she liked you.

    She was far up phases in terms of the classic M3 model. Having said that, you didn't have to work hard to generate attraction and get your foot in the door.

    What happened was your foot was in the door, but you failed to keep it there. You even said so yourself that there were moments you screwed up and DLVed yourself. In terms of PUA techniques, you probably did more DON'Ts then DO's and ultimately ended up beta in her eyes.

    This happens to a lot of guys. When a girl is into them, they get lazy or they don't know PUA game and shoot themselves in the foot. The guys who are able to keep the girls who are into them, they are able break rapport and continue to demonstrate value to keep the girls chasing them.

    In your case, it is too late for that. When the girl is first to break rapport with you because you lost value to them, there is really no way to recover. If you continue to show her interest, you will only devalue yourself more in her eyes. It will put you in the "Chaser" frame.

    You can go ahead and try and send something funny, but I wouldn't put any stock in that. I never seen it work. The only time it works is when the girl is already invested deeply in the relationship. In this case, it was just a fling. So My best advice to you is back off and freeze her out. Get good at PUA before you make an attempt because there is no point in doing it right now.

    Being in a LTR will kill your game. It's like being a domesticated animal and now you can't hunt. If you are serious, then start investing in yourself and learn.

    One of the things you don't want to do is keep gaming strippers in the same venue. I know that world very well and the girls talk. Not a good idea. The concept of pre-selection doesn't work well in a strip club where it is a pay to play world.
    Thanks for taking the time to write this - I'll definitely take that on board and will continue to work on it, so that I don't make the same mistakes next time. You are right in that it's probably over with her so I'm not going to do anything else to pursue it.

    Regarding my situation with my LTR... It's tricky and I don't really know what to do about it. I'm sure I love my mrs and I have a child, and we live together overseas so there are all sorts of reasons why I don't want to end it. It is a game killer though, and it's making me unhappy because I finally feel like I have solid foundations to work on now and could have a lot of success women. It's something I'll have to figure out.

  6. #6
    NakedTruth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Quote Originally Posted by The_Source View Post
    Regarding my situation with my LTR... It's tricky and I don't really know what to do about it. I'm sure I love my mrs and I have a child, and we live together overseas so there are all sorts of reasons why I don't want to end it. It is a game killer though, and it's making me unhappy because I finally feel like I have solid foundations to work on now and could have a lot of success women. It's something I'll have to figure out.
    Yeah, I suspect that it's more common than we think . I'm in the same situation and I can relate. I'm still searching for books or articles or advice or whatever about how to be a PUA while in a LTR :/
    'The Game is what gives a PUA his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the world together.'

  7. #7
    bi11ydakid13 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Yeah don't sweat it your married you have your family at home don't worry about this your only lookING for in and you your mistake as trying to create an ltr when the obvious choice was to f#ck

  8. #8
    The_Source is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Hey guys, I have an update on this - I went back to the club to have one last crack at the HB10 - turned up in the club after 2 weeks of no contact at all, started from scratch, teased her and we flirted relentlessly and then she took me to the VIP area and we built a ton of comfort, she talked about some pretty deep stuff. From there, I would taken her somewhere private, but as she was working I couldn't bounce to the hotel, so couldn't move into Seduction and had to stay put.

    Now, I think it's worth mentioning that I spent nothing on her at all, and we hung out there for about 4 hours, so I'm confident that she enjoys my company and isn't taking me for a ride.

    Unfortunately i think I may have DLV'd by staying in the club a little bit too long and waiting for her a little bit. She was tired and might've come back to my hotel at the end of her shift, I think she was being honest and she said she couldn't promise, so I didn't want to push it and we have arranged to meet up tomorrow. Last time this happened we had sex so hopefully that's what'll go down this time, but I'm half expecting her to flake.

    She's supposed to text me - so, what do I do if she flakes or doesn't make contact, and at any point should I text her?

  9. #9
    artandale's Avatar
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    If its likely she'll flake make alternative plans so you're not twiddling your thumbs. Figure out the day of before she'll flake. Tell her you'll be late to the scheduled plans the day of so she has a chance to flake instead of leaving you with your d1ck in your hand
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Seeing a stripper on the side

    Yeah, always make alternative plans that you're looking forward to as much as you're looking forward to seeing the girl
    'The Game is what gives a PUA his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the world together.'


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