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  1. #1
    Icenberg is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Flake it or make it. Quick tips, might meet tomorrow

    Matched this girl on tinder when I was traveling with my job about a month ago. We have a lot in common and are both passionate about the same thing. In the start I was just chatting and sending pictures for fun as I had no plan to meet her cause she lives 5 hours by car from my place. However a week ago we sexted, and did it again three days ago. The more we talk, the more I realize I really like her. I've met a lot of different girls the last year, and I'm in now way feeling like I'm in a needy situation.

    She told me five days ago she have the coming weekend off and wanted to travel to meet me. This works out for me as I have the weekend off as well. She did say she found the though really scary, but I just replied that I understand how this is scary for her, naturally. Talked about it the day after as well, and she still said it sounds scary, but she would manage. I tried to take the pressure off by not talking about it the next days, but when I mentioned it yesterday, she said she had plans with her friends for the weekend (trip to a mountain, one of the things we are passionate about).

    I asked her if it was also cause she found the thought of traveling 5 hours to meet me was scaring, she planned something else and she admitted that was part of it. I offered to travel to her place instead and join for the trip, but she wanted to meet me alone and not with 6 friends the first time, so I just said "don't stress it, it's okay, I'm not gonna force myself upon you to join" and she replied that if the weather wasn't good they would cancel the trip and I was welcome to come then. As of now the weather don't look too good, but I don't want to sound needy on her. What do I do from now? I'll leave tomorrow if I'm going. Maybe I should call her tonight as we just chatted online till now?

    She almost always initiate contact tru Facebook chat with me, and she often compliments me telling me how great of a guy I must be, or that she finds me attractive etc

  2. #2
    Icenberg is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Flake it or make it. Quick tips, might meet tomorrow

    Maybe my post didn't really come out as a question. I basically want to write or tell her something that shows I don't deal with bs or excuses or play any games. If she likes me we meet up, if not so be it. I don't want to say it in a way that would scare her off no matter what she actually feels

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Flake it or make it. Quick tips, might meet tomorrow

    Instead of confirming & agreeing with her about it being "scary" you could have teased her playfully & then corrected her, saying it would be FUN.

    Make her look forward to meeting up, rather than allowing her to focus on her uncertainties & potential fears.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    Icenberg is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Flake it or make it. Quick tips, might meet tomorrow

    Thanks for the answer, it makes sense. We didn't meet up last weekend but planned for the coming one instead. Wrote her yesterday saying saying basically that I'm looking forward to meet and that it's going to be fun. She wrote me back saying she is not ready to meet me. Figured going into details about what she means would be needy from my part, so just wrote "no stress, we don't need to put any more effort into this". I could see on the chat that she was typing something but deleting it again many times but she ended up not replying until hours later when she wrote me saying she thinks I see her as a better person than she really is. Answered something like "I don't have a reason to think bad about you" and she then sent me some links to some chill songs and sent me some hearts etc ( reading this back it sounds like we are 14, but both are 29 years old).

    How do you relate to someone with self esteem issues like this? Let them deal with it the self and just wait? Take the shrink role and end up friendzone? Be pushy and take control and risk being seen as needy?


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