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Thread: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

  1. #1
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    Default Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    Hey guys, there's a thing that just has happened to me 2nd time and I really wanna find out the why.

    Flaking is a real bitch, we all know that. But in these cases I feel like it happened because of calling the girl. I'm not talking about forcing phone talk -or at least I hope so - but it seems like something like that.

    I hooked up both HB on Tinder - they both 18 or something, so pretty young, really into social networking - you know what I mean, this generation that rarely got in touch personally. I think it's kinda important part of the story.

    I managed to get on a date with the 1st one. The date went well, good vibe, good convo, but only cheek-kiss, she didn't let me get in french with her. Talking about 2nd date, but she said she is busy like 2 times. Once I called her - she seemed shy through phone, she said she was surprised I called her. We talked a lot through facebook, but from this point, the phone call, she went cold - not reinitiate contact with me, disclaim dates - when it happened the 3rd time, I just gace up and move on - I really liked her and it seemed like she liked me before.

    Things went well with the 2nd HB, I thought. Went from Tinder to facebook, #-closed on the peek of our conversation, agreed on a later meetup. A few days after the talk, I texted her, she texted back, also asking for the details of our meetup. A day or 2 later, I tried to call her - didn't pick up. Write her on facebook something like: "It seems like we need to hire secretaries to manage to talk to each other. Tell your people let mine when you are free to talk". She apologized, and agreed to meet on Tuesday (itt happened yesterday). I told her I would call her today with the exact details, she said ok. I tried to call her, but didn't pick up, so I leave a playfull message about the secretary-thing, asking if around 5 pm is fine for her. I checked it 10 minutes later - she deleted me on facebook, not returning call or message.
    I have nothing to loose so I wrote her on tinder saying there's no problem being a little shy or too busy to meer - but deleting me on facebook was a bit surprising. But anyhow, have a great nght and awesome week.

    So, my guess is that nowadays, with younger chicks who rarely phone and prefer texting and facebook, calling and forcing phone is come down as needy or too pushy for them - what do you think guys?

    As for me, I found myself a bit weird agreeing about a date and meeting with someone without actually speking to her on phone... but should I do that? Because after the 2 cases detailed above, i just got confused and a bit said.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    So, my guess is that nowadays, with younger chicks who rarely phone and prefer texting and facebook, calling and forcing phone is come down as needy or too pushy for them - what do you think guys?
    yes, calling is not something they're used to doing with people they don't know very well.

    Went from Tinder to facebook, #-closed on the peek of our conversation,
    see, I believe that fb friending girls you haven't met already isn't a good idea, they're going to analyze your face book and look for reasons not to meet up with you. (because lets face it, there is nothing natural about meeting people you've met online) girls will often try to find reasons to disqualify you without having met you.

    I would recommend that when using tinder, rely on the sheer superficial nature of it (game based on looks) use good pictures that make you look really attractive, and only text her enough for her to get the idea that you're a funny good looking guy and then set up a meet in a public place the following day (the more time you give her, the more time she has to come up with reasons not to meet you)

    and lastly

    I managed to get on a date with the 1st one. The date went well, good vibe, good convo, but only cheek-kiss, she didn't let me get in french with her.
    you probably went for the kiss before she felt like she had earned it. (or alternatively, if she was particularly narcissistic, she may have felt like you hadn't earned a kiss from her)

    the solution, is to present overwhelming amounts of value on your part, and to make her show her value before you reward her by kissing.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    I sharpened my tinder game lately - including fixing my profile, my tinder-talks, everything. I found it a good idea to get girls from tinder to facebook ASAP, and I tell you how and why:

    After a good opener and a bit light chit-chat, I get the girl qualify herself to me - and if I like what she said, I direct her to facebook with something like: "You seem cool/funny/etc., but to be hinest, I hate talking on Tinder and the little light-sign on the top is quiet annoying too. So add me on facebook, so I could check your favorite books, what you ate 2 days ago for dinner and what your cat's doing while you watch soap operas. Name xy Born in xy works at xy"

    So I do that after they qualify themself - and I let them to be my friends. But actually I wanna see a bit more of them before meeting - I'm busy and don't want to go on dates with girls who either not that good looking or not that cool. So it's me screenng them on facebook.

    But on the other hand I know they screen me, and that's fine - I fixes my facebook profil as well - it's full of DHV spikes, like woking at the most popular and biggest hungarian television channel, bunch of pictures about me spending the summer in the USA doing awesome stuffs (I'm from Hungary, it's kind of a big deal here) etc. So I demonstrate higher values through facebook, but also lightly qualify myself to them so they more easy to meet up with me.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    Some younger girls get weird when you call them but it can also be a HUGE plus in your favor. I've had girls that age tell me how much they like it that I call. No guys their age EVER call them on the phone so it sets you apart.

    Honestly, I don't care if they get creeped out if I call. It takes NO balls to text a girl. Calling takes balls so I never text a girl first. I also prefer talking on the phone so I make that clear when I number close. When they say "text me" I tell them "No. I'll call you." This prepares them for your call.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    But on the other hand I know they screen me, and that's fine - I fixes my facebook profil as well - it's full of dhv spikes, like woking at the most popular and biggest hungarian television channel, bunch of pictures about me spending the summer in the USA doing awesome stuffs (I'm from Hungary, it's kind of a big deal here) etc. So I demonstrate higher values through facebook, but also lightly qualify myself to them so they more easy to meet up with me.
    I believe this here points out exactly what your problem is,

    you're too interesting.

    (I know it sounds a bit wack, but it can be a problem)

    see, when a girl senses that you are highly valuable, as in more valuable than she is, she's going to have a hard time rationalizing why you chose her, why you wanted to kiss her, and why you wanted to fark her. she probably feels as if she has done little to deserve this interest from a high value guy such as yourself.

    honestly if I were you, I would keep some of it a mystery (and the easiest way to do that would be by not giving her your facebook)


    that way, she can gradually discover that you are more and more valuable each time she meets you. withholding some of your dhv's will actually work in your favor, use them later on in your relationship (like after you've had sex with her)

    that way, she can feel like she deserves you, and gradually discover that you are an even higher value guy than she first thought.

    laying all your cards on the table with facebook is what your problem is, stay mysterious, don't brag about your job or your adventures, and let her slowly find out that you're the most interesting man in the world.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    Some good reasons in this thread why I DONT have a FB lol.

    Yes, it limits girls you can meet but I'm great in person ortext so I feel focusing on my strengths is better than keeping up with social media.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  7. #7
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    Default Re: Phone anxiety - is that a thing?

    I think, facebook is a double-edged weapon - it can work against you and for you as well.

    I met for a little chat with my best wing, who has also been facing this problem lately, and he had a good point: families, friends etc. can talk the HB over from meeting you! I think he really has a point, think about it! HB's mother, girlfriend or someone asks her about who is she talking to, who is she going to meet - "A guy from Tinder". Yeah, I can imagine them talking HB off meeting with that guy, if that guy didn't build enough comfort or something. So, it can be az option.


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