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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

  1. #1
    kareem-alsaud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Would appreciate if some of the more experienced guys on here could chime in on my situation

    Saw a girl ive met several times through friends about a month ago, ended up having sex the first night we met at a party....took her number down.
    1st time i saw her post sex, my buddy was with her and some girls at a bar and he invited me. We had plans to hang and it was a coincidence that she was there. She ended up having work in the AM, opportunity for going home together wasnt there so we made out and decided on making plans for the following week.

    Saw her the following week, had drinks. Were making out and touching each other in the booth...she invites me back to her place....despite wanting to I deny....mainly because i had to be up at like 8am and she lives far + in my past experience, turning down sex after you already had sex is a powerful move

    Last night, I hit her up and ask what she has going on for the night. She tells me her friend is hosting a party downtown and to text her if im in the city. My buddys girlfriend and said chick are friends so when i meet up with him, he suggests we go there to which i agree. Me and 5 of my friends get there, i say hi to her but do my own thing with my boys for most of the night drinking and chilling.

    She decides to have a huge house party afterwards and like 20 people go back to her house, including me. Literally could not isolate her the whole god damn night because theres people all over. We kiss goodnight and I tell her im out.


    Not sure if I should next her or not....on one hand we've already boned, she reacts positively in person but she neverrrrrr facilitates anything...i feel like im doing all the work and making all the requests to hang out.....shes pretty hot and has a huge social circle so i can see her having a princess attitude that "the guy should do all the work" but i dont buy into that BS and im honestly getting sick of it...

    i mean i would say shes not really interested but she literally reacts so positively physically every time i see her....why is she inviting me back to her place if she isnt into me?

    Day after party,I hit her up for a hungover booty call, she tells me shes tired from last night. I suggest we meet up Thursday and she says "sorry baby i cant thurs" with no resced offer...i didnt reply

    I mean theres tons of pros here...we've already had sex, we've been physical when we've seen each other over the past month, she told my friend's girl she wants a friends with benefits kind of thing...
    but she doesnt meet me half away at all...

    I think im gonna ignore her for a week or so and hit her up again..but not sure this is a good idea? I mean im getting signs of interest when im with her im just kind of put off that she doesnt do any of the things every other girl ive ever slept with does

    just not sure how to approach this...ignore her for a week? 2? cut her off completely? just call when i want sex? help guys

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    It doesn't matter who initiates, as long as she's responding positively.

    Just don't send boring texts like most guys would.

    Make them more interesting & fun, and you'll be fine.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    kareem-alsaud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    It doesn't matter who initiates, as long as she's responding positively.

    Just don't send boring texts like most guys would.

    Make them more interesting & fun, and you'll be fine.

    I haven't been texting her much. Since we first hooked up a month ago, ive texted her only to meet up...no chit chat

    shes always offered alternative meet up times except for most recently where I suggested Thursday and she simply said she can't...to which I didnt respond either.....

    Ive always been under the school of thought that talking via text kills attraction and distance is a good thing?

    The thing that confuses me most is that she tells my boy's girlfriend "Oh Kareem's so cute I just want to f his brains out", complains I dont hit her up enough but when I do she doesnt make it easy for me at all...

    Realistically, shes only declined an offer once without offering to rsceduale

    I dont know man...i got another girl on the side but I want this one and its driving me nuts

  4. #4
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Not an expert, but my 2 cents.

    Honestly, I'm not getting your confusion. This girl has:

    Gave you her number
    Touched you a lot
    Made out with you
    Had sex with you
    Told you to let her know when you're in the city (meaning she wants to see you)
    Invited you to her place
    Offered to reschedule meetups almost every single time, with only one exception that you seem to be obsessing over
    Told her friends she wants to f*ck your brains out

    I think you're just being a perfectionist. This girl has done all kinds of things to show interest, but you're focusing only on the one or two things she *hasn't* done. 99 out of 100 guys would be satisfied with the above.

    Yes, not every girl initiates a lot. Thats just how some of them are. I would just accept that and do what T-mal suggested. As long as she's reacting positively, you're fine.

  5. #5
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Texting can absolutely build attraction when you do it correctly.
    It's a powerful tool, as long as you know how to use it.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  6. #6
    kareem-alsaud is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Quote Originally Posted by Carter21 View Post
    Not an expert, but my 2 cents.

    Honestly, I'm not getting your confusion. This girl has:

    Gave you her number
    Touched you a lot
    Made out with you
    Had sex with you
    Told you to let her know when you're in the city (meaning she wants to see you)
    Invited you to her place
    Offered to reschedule meetups almost every single time, with only one exception that you seem to be obsessing over
    Told her friends she wants to f*ck your brains out

    I think you're just being a perfectionist. This girl has done all kinds of things to show interest, but you're focusing only on the one or two things she *hasn't* done. 99 out of 100 guys would be satisfied with the above.

    Yes, not every girl initiates a lot. Thats just how some of them are. I would just accept that and do what T-mal suggested. As long as she's reacting positively, you're fine.
    Like Socrates said, I know I know nothing

    Yea on paper, whats happened looks reasonable and I seem to be over reacting...however, any girl in the past ive ever been with has never acted this way...especially after sex and numerous encounters

    one of the things im trying to improve in my game is to handle situations like this for the greater good instead of just cutting the girl off.....your post put some things in perspective and thanks for it...like i said im just comparing things to my own past

    Quote Originally Posted by T-Mal View Post
    Texting can absolutely build attraction when you do it correctly.
    It's a powerful tool, as long as you know how to use it.
    ive only ever used text to plan meetings...any guidance or link you can direct me to to use it effectively?

  7. #7
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Responds positively in person but never initiates anything

    Kareem,

    This is what I learned from my past experiences with women and I've been in your shoes before.

    If you find yourself having to do most or all the work, then she is not crazy into you. And even though you both had sex, she doesn't see you as anything more. She might want a friend with benefit, but if the guy who is her type comes along that she is strongly attracted to, trust me, you will see a different side of her.

    I know it's tough because you like this girl, but someone like her who is hot and popular, you are going to have to dial back and maintain a chooser frame rather than chasing. You are going to have to play the value game with HB10's and once in a while bust out the playful, flirty PUA. A girl like this you need to be a challenge to her. Keep in mind that women will only take seriously and date a guy she deems as equal to her value or higher. That is why you see a lot of famous actresses going out with celeb guys.

    How do you be a challenge to a girl like this? Don't give up your attention and value. When we like a girl, we tend to sacrifice a lot of our value. When a hot girl sees a guy doing that, it sub-communicates to her that this is a guy who is not use to being with a girl like me. Because if he was high value, then why would he give it up so easily. We always value what we have to work for.

    One of the things you can do is break rapport. If she invites you for sex, don't hesitate in flaking out on her or saying "Nah, not tonite" (and make some excuse up). I mean shit you already had sex with her, it's no anticipating surprise.

    I mentioned this in another post, the mentality you need to take is..."You give, then I give. You don't move, then I don't move." It goes back to the old PUA golden rule. "A girl's disinterest should be mirrored, not rewarded."

    Regarding "Signs of interests" = over-rated. A girl's attraction is fleeting. It's like a roller coaster ride or a blockbuster movie. Once you get off, the moment is over. For example, I've been out with a Playboy model who had to use the restroom badly, I walked with her, and we ended up chatting for an hour outside the ladies room (despite the fact she had to go). Cool convo and she was really into me. I ran game on her to a point she suggested that we go out on a date. The next day, she acted as if it never happened. I've pretty much seen every single IOI a girl does, but the true test is compliance. So unless she really likes you, the real gauge is she goes out of her way to initiate texts with you and is almost always compliant. The more women you go out with, the more you will see it.

    Regarding text game, check out Bobby Rio's magnetic messaging. The formula is simple.
    1. Spark her emotions (you are going to have to learn how to do this and T-Mal has posts on it on how to be playful, fun and fliry)
    2. Build a connection (something you can only say to this girl)
    3. Set logistics (for your girl, just casually throw out an invite to do something, don't overplan and keep your expectations low.)

    I hate to see you waste your time on this girl, so at some point (after you felt you ran your best game), just be open and honest and say something along the lines of "Hey, do you see us as anything more? me personally, I want to see where this goes" And if you get something along the lines of, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now blah blah blah" Then you got your answer and then stop expending time and energy here.


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