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Thread: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    Hey guys,

    I have been lately observing 2 of my friends and how they behave in their relationships, and I have been thinking a lot about girls addicted to their men and whether this is a desirable outcome.

    The 2 examples (especially the 2nd one) are rather long for illustrative purposes. You can skip them and go straight down to my questions.

    --------

    Case 1) The first friend is a 30 yo guy who has been dating for more or less 3 years the same girl. He is a notorious cheater and has been getting some on the side. He is constantly chasing new girls. My guess is that it's something deeply ingrained in his personality and he has this "predator" instinct.

    Anyway, at some point he implied that his gf must have been suspecting something but she was still letting him do his thing. He was then bragging about how docile and submissive she was and how she had "adapted herself to his reality". Almost all her life revolves around him and he basically has a "homey" girl waiting for him no matter what happens.

    If I have to make an "objective" assessment of the girl's overall attractiveness, I would say she is a 6 (ok figure, but she seems to have some severe acne problems despite being in her late-20s; she is not too feminine either but she is very kinky according to my friend).

    I do not know if she has self-esteem issues or not (I have met her several times and she seemed ok) and if she is indeed his "loyal doggie" as he implied, but she seems to be genuinely in love with him. I also do not know for what reason she is so much into him (he is not a stud either) but my friend claims that being good in bed is the best way to get a woman addicted to you. She will still desire no matter what happens and will put with any shit you throw at her.

    -------

    Case 2) My second friend is a 30 yo Russian woman who happens to also be my co-worker. We confide to each other, so I know quite a lot about her. I would describe her a traditional "homey" type of girl. She has tremendous success with men who flock to her feet. She is trying to look and act cool, but she has some serious self-esteem issues. She was in a miserable relationship for 2.5 years (God knows why she wasn't leaving him) and was desperate to find a new guy. I was trying to help her a bit and was taking her with me to parties and meetups.

    She eventually met this muslim guy and jumped head on in a relationship. She kinda waited 1-2 weeks before officially breaking up with her ex (they were not living together anymore at that point). What stroke me as strange however is how fast everything happened. She basically jumped from one relationship to another. After the 1st week, she has been sleeping every single day at her new bf's place. The only time they were separate was during office hours.

    I never liked the guy in the first place and was advising her to run away. The guy lied about many things (his parents' job, his nationality, claimed his mother was a christian, he also claimed he was not very religious, etc.). She forgave him because she lied about her age and about her ex. Then, he did some things that looked rather creepy: he tried to get her drunk in order to sleep with her (but you cannot outdrink a Russian, bad move) and tried to force his way (she left his house then). At the beginning of the relationship, he was also laying around condoms all over the place to make her understand he wanted some (she claims they did not have sex until the first month passed).

    I guess she was so desperate to find a bf that she enjoyed the attention and disregarded all the rest. She then slowly started getting obsessed with this new relationship of hers. She would cry because he didn't write back to her for 24h, because he didn't call her, because he's playing games, etc.

    Five months forward, she doesn't eat pork or drink alcohol anymore. She had started reading the Qur'an and is about to start learning arabic. She doesn't admit it but I am persuaded that she is completely changing herself to please her new boyfriend. They even have had the "talk". Their kids will be muslim, have muslim names and will only speak arabic at home. He even encouraged her to also become a muslim or there might be a problem with his parents.

    Long story short, she has incurred a lot of stress because she is trying to make this relationship work while there are a lot of cultural differences. She has lost a lot of weight, doesn't sleep anymore and cries a lot (really a lot) from all the stress. Her own place is still a mess with unopened moving boxes and she hasn't done basic things like installing a phone line/internet connection.

    She keeps complaining and crying about petty things and making herself miserable. She is sad that she has to step down on a number of issues (he is jealous and also the type of guy who wants to have things done his own way). Having lived in arabic countries, I know the culture of these people and have tried to warn her. She doesn't listen to me and stubbornly tries to prove me that her relationship is going to work. She replies that she is willing to make the sacrifice to make the relationship work because they "get along so well" and that simple cultural differences do not matter.

    ---------------

    So we have 2 different situations, where the girl is almost a slave to the guy. They are madly in love with him and will not contest anything he says. My questions are as follows:


    1) Is it normal for a girl to be so much addicted to their boyfriend? Have you done that with all the women you have dated? How can one possibly make a woman addicted to him? Is sexual/emotional gratification the key to submitting her?

    2) Is this a good model for a healthy relationship? Can such relationships work in the long run? Even though such a situation is very benefitial for the guy, I am wondering if this is a desirable outcome. I like girls having some personality instead of being carpets.


    Some thoughts:


    Everything
    this guy says is true about the 2 girls I mentioned above.
    This is extremely fascinating and scary how much a guy can have control over a girl.

    Now, with that information in mind, I am wondering if this is how things should be.
    From an alpha male's point of view, the answer is yes. The theory behind alpha-mindness is that men should dominate the relationship. Any attempt at putting in place some parity will sign the doom of the relationship as the woman will progressively lose respect for the guy (I have see that happen to some couples).

    My ex did tick all the boxes mentioned in the above blog. She definitely was into me and was compliant, but she still had her own personality and personal life. It was a long-distance relationship, so I eventually started losing control over her and we then broke apart. Maybe if I had kept her "in my reality", she wouldn't have even thought of breaking up?

    Is Krauser PUA right in saying that you need to get a girl addicted to you?

    Any input you may have is welcome!
    Cheers

  2. #2
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    1) Is it normal for a girl to be so much addicted to their boyfriend? Have you done that with all the women you have dated? How can one possibly make a woman addicted to him? Is sexual/emotional gratification the key to submitting her?
    feminist are going to hate me for this lol but the answer is yes.

    when a woman finds a strong dominant man, it is perfectly normal for her to get addicted. he makes her accept his reality, and there is no other way for her to have him. he never gives in to her and this keeps him in control of the relationship.


    the way to make women addicted to you is to dominate them. not only sexually, but socially as well. basically, you tell them what you want, and if they don't give it to you, you go find it somewhere else.

    Is sexual/emotional gratification the key to submitting her?
    the key to submitting any woman is to constantly give her compliance tests while never giving in to any compliance tests she throws your way. this shows that you are a dominant man, and she will have all kinds of emotions because of it.

    the sheer range of emotions you create in her by just being dominant and not caring what she thinks will be more than enough to create an nlp effect known as fractionation (a strong level of emotional investment witch is what makes it so hard for them to walk away from even the most abusive relationships)


    2) Is this a good model for a healthy relationship? Can such relationships work in the long run? Even though such a situation is very benefitial for the guy, I am wondering if this is a desirable outcome. I like girls having some personality instead of being carpets.
    I would argue yes, (and i'll explain in a minute) but its entirely up for debate.

    I'm going to give some example of married couples I know and you can decide witch kind of relationship you would prefer.

    1. Michael and lean. they've been married for almost 20 years, mike is dominant and controlling yet loving. he loves her on his terms, and can occasionally be a bit emotionally abusive at times, but he's never hit her or cheated on her. she loves him for his strength, despite that she often confides in her sister and cries about how he treats her sometimes. I would argue that they have a healthy relationship.

    2. Roland and Preety, roland is a very submissive guy, he takes her out when she tells him she wants romance, and he seems pretty lazy in their relationship, Preety yells at him and always complains about how he doesn't stick up for her. she controls the relationship, and they fight a lot anytime Rolland wants his way with anything and of course he always ends up giving in to her. one of her friends told me that they've been married for over 4 years and preety is still a virgin.

    I would argue that there relationship isn't healthy at all.

    3. jess and Glenda, they have been married for over 25 years. both are workaholics and Glenda always complains about how jess never does anything around the house she yells at him all the time, but it does her no good, jess is great at ignoring her when she gets mad. he is very lazy in the relationship. sometimes she gets her way, and sometimes he gets his way. he doesn't lead her around like he should, and instead just has a sort of lazy indifference towards her. they are not very happily married, despite having an ok balance of power. Glenda sometimes even threatens divorce, but they won't leave each other mostly for religious reasons and because there "adultalescent" kids pretty much control the house.
    I would argue there relationship is somewhere between healthy and unhealthy.

    4. jim and nancey. they have been married for almost 50 years, she has always been the submissive housewife. he runs the household like a man should, he tells her to make food and she is more than happy to do it for him, and I would argue that she actually enjoys doing things to please him. when he's happy, she's happy. when he's not happy, she does whatever she can to make him happy. the only place where she has any control over him, is that she doesn't allow him to eat un-healthy food because she's trying to keep him in good health. witch he doesn't really mind, as long as he doesn't have to cook.the balance of power is tipped heavily in his favour and he maintains his power in the relationship while still being romantic occasionally. she loves him for his strength and he always rewards her when she does things to please him. she gets lots of gratification from making him happy and they almost never fight over anything. she has accepted his reality and is happy to be a part of it.

    I would argue that they have the most healthy relationship of all the ones I've mentioned.


    so there you have it, you can decide what kind of relationship you would prefer to be in.

    i would argue that it is better to be controlling than to be controlled. lets face the fact that its almost impossible to have a "even" balance of power. either you're leading, or she's leading. most women would even agree that its best for the man to lead.

    as david x would say. "its not hard to figure out what women want, they don't want a p.ussy, they want a dominant man who will lead them."

  3. #3
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    Thanks a lot, man! This is exactly the type of contribution I was hoping for! You raise some excellent points

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    feminist are going to hate me for this lol but the answer is yes.
    when a woman finds a strong dominant man, it is perfectly normal for her to get addicted. he makes her accept his reality, and there is no other way for her to have him. he never gives in to her and this keeps him in control of the relationship.
    I perfectly understand your point but does this really work on every type of woman? I have this impression this only works on emotionally vulnerable women that have low self-esteem.

    In the more balanced relationships I have witnessed, both partners were contributing and none ever felt like they were giving too much. In the case of addicted women, aren't they exploited to some extent (let's be honest here, we would all love to have a personal female slave, but it's still seems like exploitation in the end)?

    Some extra observations:

    1) I live in a big European city and evolve in an environment where people are very competitive and also where a lot of them, especially women, are highly educated, have good jobs and earn a lot of money. They are quite independent and usually have tons of expectations out of men and don't appreciate being bossed around or having to do any type of house chore.
    How do you deal with such people? I have personally given up of them and have started looking for women outside of my typical social environment. Turns out that other women are more reasonable and more traditional.
    Also note that many of these independent girls I mentioned are still single in their late 30s and 40s and keep complaining about not being able to find a man.

    2) Many women from my country (Southern Europe) actually do not like macho men and have a strong preference for submissive males. I have seen many women dismiss guys because they were too "dominant". The end result is that many girls are so picky that they stay celibate for years and when they realise that their biological clock is almost up, they marry any guy just start a family (has happened to some cousins of mine and to their friends as well). Of course, their marriages are a huge failure.

    The dream of many women is to marry a nice westerner that knows how to "treat a woman". Many end marrying Scandinavian or French wusses (as I call them) as they pose no resistance and gladly adapt to the girl's reality and culture.

    I just gave you 2 situations where it seems very hard for a man to be dominant enough in order to make a girl addicted to him.

    I am wondering whether I should always aim to make a woman addicted to me. Is it something compulsory to make a relationship work or is it something like a cherry on the cake? Because this is easier said than done...

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    the way to make women addicted to you is to dominate them. not only sexually, but socially as well. basically, you tell them what you want, and if they don't give it to you, you go find it somewhere else.

    the key to submitting any woman is to constantly give her compliance tests while never giving in to any compliance tests she throws your way. this shows that you are a dominant man, and she will have all kinds of emotions because of it.

    the sheer range of emotions you create in her by just being dominant and not caring what she thinks will be more than enough to create an nlp effect known as fractionation (a strong level of emotional investment witch is what makes it so hard for them to walk away from even the most abusive relationships)
    What you write makes me think of my Russian friend. She was again complaining about her bf today because she asked him to come pick her up from work with his car but he refused because he didn't want to get stuck in the traffic jams (the metro is very close btw, I think she was simply testing him). She started telling me that her ex was always picking her up no matter what, and that maybe her new bf doesn't care enough for her.

    So here you go. She tested him, he didn't comply, she thinks he doesn't like her and she will do even more efforts to please him. She is so eager to make him happy that she would literally anything.

    I do have a question though. Couldn't his reaction have backfired? Imagine she got pissed at him and decided to let him go. Of course that would never happen as he has got her too much addicted to ever let go... But most women don't have her psychological issues, therefore they will be less prone to manipulation.

    Kudos to the guy, but I have serious doubts his tricks would work on other women.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    1. Michael and lean. they've been married for almost 20 years, mike is dominant and controlling yet loving. he loves her on his terms, and can occasionally be a bit emotionally abusive at times, but he's never hit her or cheated on her. she loves him for his strength, despite that she often confides in her sister and cries about how he treats her sometimes. I would argue that they have a healthy relationship.
    You say that this is a healthy relationship. But why is the woman still occasionally complaining and crying? Isn't that a sign of dissatisfaction and that something being wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    4. jim and nancey. they have been married for almost 50 years, she has always been the submissive housewife. he runs the household like a man should, he tells her to make food and she is more than happy to do it for him, and I would argue that she actually enjoys doing things to please him. when he's happy, she's happy. when he's not happy, she does whatever she can to make him happy. the only place where she has any control over him, is that she doesn't allow him to eat un-healthy food because she's trying to keep him in good health. witch he doesn't really mind, as long as he doesn't have to cook.the balance of power is tipped heavily in his favour and he maintains his power in the relationship while still being romantic occasionally. she loves him for his strength and he always rewards her when she does things to please him. she gets lots of gratification from making him happy and they almost never fight over anything. she has accepted his reality and is happy to be a part of it. I would argue that they have the most healthy relationship of all the ones I've mentioned.
    This looks like the old-fashioned type of family model. Yet, it seems to work.
    I am not sure however that such a model can work with modern women in western countries (see my observations above).

  4. #4
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    And for quicks, here is the reply I got from a woman on another forum. She doesn't seem girlfriend material but she is an interesting case. She puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that she loves the mind games and how she always have to second-guess whether her guy still likes her or not.

    I don't know about you guys, but these mind games do not fit me well and actually exhaust me. What she describes is really not for me. I prefer the more peaceful types of relationships.

    Yes, of course a woman can become addicted to a man and a man can become addicted to a woman.

    Usually I think this happens in highly sexually charged or taboo relationships.... when you put fire with fire. Not in an everyday, long term turn predictable/comfortable relationship. It happens when there is an intense attraction between two people, usually fueled by fantasy and drama. Often you can add emotional attraction to the mix. But definitely physical. Both have to know how to push each other's buttons.

    The addiction comes with uncertainty, up's and down's and how the man treats her. If he lays down in front of her and rolls out the red carpet, no, there won't be an addiction. Maybe loyalty. Maybe respect. Maybe friendship. But no addiction. Addiction is fueled by fire and excitement. Usually and sadly a guy who treats a woman well will no longer excite her. I mean he has to treat her well to a degree so that she stays put but he also has to keep her guessing to keep her roped in. Fact: Married a nice guy. Was with him forever. Got tired of him sexually. He became a door mat. Now I am dating a man who is attached. He keeps me on edge. All the time. No predictability with this one. Loves me one minute. Goes cool the next. If I ignore him, he chases me. He gets jealous of other men. I get jealous of other women. We sometimes try to make each other jealous. It is all a game. And very exciting at that but the downside, for us women or me at least is that it comes with a high price tag. At the price of your emotional well being. So many lows for so many highs. You can trade the lows for the highs in a heart beat so long as he keeps feeding you the excitement. And knows how. So for it to keep going the highs will have to outnumber the lows. When that stops, you no longer have something exciting but rather something too painful. So it is hard cause you are addicted to the guy and the relationship. You want it to remain in the excitement phase forever. But you also want him for yourself. And then you don't cause you are afraid the fantasy will collapse if you are washing his socks and cooking his meals.

    Gotta say that players sure do know what they are doing. I have met an expert. Good thing he has met his match. No doubt about that.

    Yes it is an addiction and yes, it is exciting as long as you can keep it that way. But at the end of the day, it is not healthy, like any other addiction. You are getting a feel good chemical from him and mostly how he makes you feel (and vise versa). Any a player knows as long as you keep a girl guessing and hold back enough for her to keep pursing you, you will have her exactly where you want her. Women like the challenge. They hate it when a man does not pay attention and will seek it out even more if you hold back. But you still have to pay enough attention to keep her interest too. As long as he knows that he has to balance the hot with the cold. Too much hot can turn a woman off and too much cold can too. So an expert player knows how many doses to use of each and exactly when.

    But remember it works both ways. I do the exact same thing to the man I am addicted to. This is why he is addicted to me too!!

    I will say though that cheating would end it all for me in a heartbeat. You gotta play by the rules. Many women accept cheating men back not because they have mad sexual skills in bed but because they believe or delude themselves into believing that he is sorry and he will change. They try to save him but a cheater cannot be saved. It is cause they love him not cause he is good in bed. The good in bed comes from the chemistry they BOTH share. Women perform better in the bedroom when they are connected to a man in some way, beyond physical. A guy can be good in bed but I don't care if I have no emotional connection to him. And I won't be at my very best for him if I am not connected emotionally. But that's just me.

  5. #5
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    I perfectly understand your point but does this really work on every type of woman? I have this impression this only works on emotionally vulnerable women that have low self-esteem.
    I would say it works on most types of women, but the difference is that you have to be way more dominant for it to work with the "independent" women. the reason it seems to work better on girls with low self esteem is because you don't have to be as dominant for it to work on them.

    In the more balanced relationships I have witnessed, both partners were contributing and none ever felt like they were giving too much.
    while those can work too, it is always better to have the woman making more effort than you are. this is done by being dominant. because we all know the old phrase "he who cares the least holds the power in the relationship" (this is especially true if you want to maintain "open" relationships)

    So here you go. She tested him, he didn't comply, she thinks he doesn't like her and she will do even more efforts to please him. She is so eager to make him happy that she would literally anything.

    I do have a question though. Couldn't his reaction have backfired? Imagine she got pissed at him and decided to let him go. Of course that would never happen as he has got her too much addicted to ever let go... But most women don't have her psychological issues, therefore they will be less prone to manipulation.
    no, actually pissing her off isn't really a bad thing. he made her accept his reality that he isn't going to go out of his way for her. and by doing so he actually caused her to increase her emotional investment. (any feeling can contribute towards a fractionation effect, for it to work there needs to be both positive and negative feelings involved)

    You say that this is a healthy relationship. But why is the woman still occasionally complaining and crying? Isn't that a sign of dissatisfaction and that something being wrong?
    actually, it would be an unhealthy relationship if there wasn't any complaining and crying occasionally.

    fighting actually shows that that the people involved are still invested/interested in the relationship.

    a lack of fighting actually often characterizes disinterest in the relationship.

    a healthy relationship has a wide range of emotions involved.


    1) I live in a big European city and evolve in an environment where people are very competitive and also where a lot of them, especially women, are highly educated, have good jobs and earn a lot of money. They are quite independent and usually have tons of expectations out of men and don't appreciate being bossed around or having to do any type of house chore.
    How do you deal with such people? I have personally given up of them and have started looking for women outside of my typical social environment. Turns out that other women are more reasonable and more traditional.
    Also note that many of these independent girls I mentioned are still single in their late 30s and 40s and keep complaining about not being able to find a man.
    I can explain what's happening with these ladies,

    many of the "independent" type women secretly long to find a man who is more dominant than they are, but by the time they are in their 30's they realize that their time of still being fertile is running out, so they end up settling for a guy who is going to provide them with future security witch is what most people desire at that point in their lives. the guys who are "sweethearts" provide them with that sense of security, so they put up with them and stay married mostly for that sense of security.


    2) Many women from my country (Southern Europe) actually do not like macho men and have a strong preference for submissive males. I have seen many women dismiss guys because they were too "dominant". The end result is that many girls are so picky that they stay celibate for years and when they realise that their biological clock is almost up, they marry any guy just start a family (has happened to some cousins of mine and to their friends as well). Of course, their marriages are a huge failure.
    this goes right along with my point, any woman who says they want a "submissive guy" really just has never found a man dominant enough to handle her. that is why they stay celibate, and that is why they end up settling for a submissive dude.

    I know this is a long post, by I'm being thorough.

    to sum things up,

    women want dominant men, while 50/50 relationships can work, giving up your power is never a good way to maintain a relationship. in most cases if the woman controls the relationship, she is only in that relationship for security (things like money, power,protection, kids, social status) and she will be more than happy to cheat given a chance.

    simply put. don't let women run your relationships.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    i would argue that it is better to be controlling than to be controlled. lets face the fact that its almost impossible to have a "even" balance of power. either you're leading, or she's leading. most women would even agree that its best for the man to lead.

    as david x would say. "its not hard to figure out what women want, they don't want a p.ussy, they want a dominant man who will lead them."

    Lets be clear on definitions here. It's not a good thing to be controlling. I know guys who are controlling and they don't "allow" their girlfriends to hang out with some of their girlfriends. This is WAY over the line.

    You don't want to be controlling. You want to be in control, and that involves yourself. Being in control is being in control of yourself. It has nothing to do with the woman. If you want pork chops and she wants steak you say "ok, you have steak. I'm having pork chops." If you want to go hang out with your buddies and she wants to go to the movies you say "I'm going to hang out with my buddies, end of discussion". The key is that you always do what you want and you never apologize for it. You do this and a woman will automatically become submissive towards you. Sure she will complain sometimes but that's normal.

    One of my ex girlfriends moved back into my area recently. She is totally addicted to me even though we aren't in a relationship and I told her we wouldn't be in one. This is all I do. She complains sometimes but I ignore it because I know she's just testing me and she really isn't mad. I tell her when she can come over and how long she can stay based on my schedule. She does allot of nice things for me. When she does these things I reward her by being romantic and doing nice things for her but I do these things only after she deserves them. This is how you get a girl addicted to you without being controlling. I let her do whatever she wants to do, but most of the time she wants to do what I want to do. If we don't agree we go our separate ways.

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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    Thanks a lot, guys! This is really useful advice you give there!
    It is really an eye-opener and I hope this also serves to others

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    no, actually pissing her off isn't really a bad thing. he made her accept his reality that he isn't going to go out of his way for her. and by doing so he actually caused her to increase her emotional investment. (any feeling can contribute towards a fractionation effect, for it to work there needs to be both positive and negative feelings involved)

    actually, it would be an unhealthy relationship if there wasn't any complaining and crying occasionally.

    fighting actually shows that that the people involved are still invested/interested in the relationship.

    a lack of fighting actually often characterizes disinterest in the relationship.

    a healthy relationship has a wide range of emotions involved.
    About this, I am not so sure what to think. I have the impression that being dominant is a dangerous game for rookies like myself, as it can backfire anytime. It really takes a lot of experience and/or talent to be able to find the right balance between "hot" and "cold".

    Take my Russian friends for example. She was complaining again today. She was still pissed about what happened yesterday. She was also pissed that her bf always sends her an invoice to pay half the costs every time after they have been on a trip. She implied that he is not serious enough and that all these bad things eventually pile up and that she is not as attracted as before. She then proceeded to bang her hands on her desk (multiple times) and even started throwing around several of her books. It was a scary sight and I have started to believe she is not very sane. Most of the drama is actually created in her own mind.

    Now I am not sure if I should believe her when she says she is not attracted anymore (women are big talkers but never mean what they say). Let's suppose this is the case. Hasn't the guy's dominance backfire against him?
    One other possibility is that the guy has simply caught on to the fact she is a wacko and doesn't want to waste too much effort on the relationship (the cherry on the cake is that it makes her even more attracted to him).

    This also reminds of my ex. She was pretty submissive until we got into a big fight. I don't remember exactly what she did, but she pissed me off (I think she started criticizing my parents and she expected me to take her side). I froze her off for 2 days and that was enough to break her confidence into pieced. She was crying and begging, but we eventually made up. Then, she met by chance her parents and they had a talk. Something changed ever since and she was less invested in the relationship (her mother had a really bad influence on her). One of the reasons we broke up 1.5 year later was because I was not compliant enough to her taste (she was always asking me to change this or that about me, and she was a jealous/control freak). I was not giving in and she hated that.

    What does it say about dominance getting a girl addicted to us? Dominance was ineffective in this case. It might also be ineffective in the case of my Russian friend...

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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    Now I am not sure if I should believe her when she says she is not attracted anymore (women are big talkers but never mean what they say). Let's suppose this is the case. Hasn't the guy's dominance backfire against him?
    she's totally attracted, especially since she constantly talks about him when he's not around. his dominance hasn't backfired.

    as a matter of fact, the only time dominance "backfires" is when you're not dominant enough to hold your ground.

    for instance, if I tell a girl that i'll poor my drink on her if she sits in my seat, and then she sits in my seat anyways, then I have to go through with it and poor my drink on her (and I actually have done that lol ) yeah, she might be pissed, but at least she knows I'm not a pu$$y, and she'll get over it.

    verses, if you threaten to poor your drink on her if she sits in your seat, but she sits there anyways and you don't do anything about it, then she loses attraction and sees you as a spineless coward.

    so actually, being submissive will backfire 20 times more often than being dominant.

    and being dominant will save you from a lot of heartache, being able to tell a woman "no" is the single most handy skill you will ever learn.

    she wants a ride? tell her to get a taxi.

    she wants money? tell her to get a job.

    she wants sex when you don't? tell her to use her vibrator.

    she wants a romantic dinner? take her to McDonalds.

    she wants you to cook for her? tell her you're getting take out.


    now I'm not saying its wrong to do nice things for your woman, but do them on your terms. (aka when you feel like it,not when she asks for them.)


    One of the reasons we broke up 1.5 year later was because I was not compliant enough to her taste (she was always asking me to change this or that about me, and she was a jealous/control freak). I was not giving in and she hated that.
    guess what, you're going to find women like that. if they can't accept your dominance, they don't belong in your life. sure occasionally "independent" women will walk out on you, but that's life. never compromise or apologize.

    and when it comes to being dominant in long term relationships, the key to keeping the girl is to also provide a sense of security as well, this can be done by doing romantic things on your terms.
    surprise her every now and then, with little gifts or favors (as long as its on your terms rather than because she asked you to)


    What does it say about dominance getting a girl addicted to us? Dominance was ineffective in this case. It might also be ineffective in the case of my Russian friend...
    dominance is rarely ineffective, and usually when it fails is when you aren't able to maintain your dominance or when you don't have much value/security to keep her attracted.

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    Default Re: Getting a woman addicted to you - some questions

    It's not so much about pissing her off, as it is just being confident enough to stand your ground.
    However; I always do it in a fun/playful way whenever possible.

    A twist on the "pour your drink on her" would be to say something like, "well, if I actually DO pour my drink on you, I'm out $5.00... so reach into your purse & give me 5 bucks so I can buy another drink first..." *wink/smile
    Or just dip your finger in your drink & flick a little bit in her face.

    OR... say "You're nothing but trouble! I'm totally gonna have to put you over my knee & spank you, aren't I?" *wink/smile. (Also a good way to rapidly escalate)

    FUN is addictive...
    So whenever you're able to inject fun into the equation, you're gonna have her hooked.

    Try to think of multiple ways to lead an interaction based on the response you want to get from her. Whether you want to piss her off, or make her laugh her ass off, it should totally be up to you to cause that reaction.



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