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  1. #1
    Johncorp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    O.K. So I've been Friend Zoned by a girl I like. I'm looking to get an interpretation of the situation and if there exists a possible way to fix it....that would be great too.

    Alright, where do I begin. Fuck. I'm going to go into painstaking details here.

    I met this girl about a year and a half ago. Very beautiful girl. We met online, through a university social website. She was fugly growing up, but she's drop dead gorgeous now. Gets A LOT of attention from men.

    When I met her, she was getting over a very bad breakup. Her ex cheated on her and it absolutely destroyed her. From what I can tell, before the breakup she was a much more secure girl. Currently, it's very clear she isn't looking for a relationship. I asked her out very soon after meeting her. We went on a date - it was O.K. but I honestly wasn't getting any vibes. She most likely agreed to go out with me because I was just a nice guy. I was that "Shoulder to cry on" which was my first mistake. At the time, it was clear that she was still not over her ex - still dealing with those emotions, and I just wasn't down for that, so I never asked her out again. However, at this point it was very clear to her that I liked her.

    I eventually moved away for a period of about 8-10 months (I can't remember). We never really "talked" but there was always regular communication on social media in the form of likes on facebook or small flirtatious comments.

    Then about a month ago, I moved back to her hometown. At this point, she began liking almost everything on facebook. Every time I posted ANYTHING, she would like it or comment. It was like having a fucking facebook girlfriend (yuck) Anyways, we started hanging out more often until one night we went out togethor to a local nightclub. I should mention at this point that I'm SURE she had options - she must have chosen to go out with me for a reason, namely, attraction. At least that's what I thought. I should also mention that whenever I see her, she's incredibly flirtatious - and I've been returning that flirtation. I SWEAR I've caught her eye-fucking me before. She's commented several times about my body (I'm really jacked) saying I look "good" and at get togethors I've caught her using excuses to touch me. From all this I took it she was attracted.

    So we go out to this club and she gets absolutely fucking hammered. Starts talking about sex and how she hasn't been laid in like 6 months, how she bought a dildo, etc. I take these as obvious IOI's. End of the night rolls around and she say's "Hey let's go back to your place," and I assume we're going to fuck.

    NOPE. We get home and she just starts puking her guts out. I end up taking care of her the whole night. I put her in my bed, we're cuddling, holding hands with fingers intertwined and rubbing her back. Intimate cuddling, basically. Didn't feel very platonic. I couldn't exactly fuck her though...

    So long story short, she goes home, texts me all about how that's the sweetest thing any guys every done for her in a long time, blah blah blah. Then sends me a meme the next day showing a one night stand - the meme shows what ideally should happen (the guy getting laid) and then what happened (a girl puking into a bucket while the guy leaves confused)

    Obviously, I take this as another IOI - her basically telling me she was going to fuck me.

    Cut to the next week, I go to her house for a party, end up leaving something at her house on purpose. At the party she starts talking about other guys, and hitting on other guys at the bar...I'm like wtf in my head.

    I end up staying over at her place and sleeping in her bed, but this time nothing happens. No cuddling...nothing. Being the pussy I am, I don't make a move. Fuck.

    The next day she once again turns the topic to sex. This time about how hates one night stand with rando's and how she only sleeps with "friends" whatever the fuck that means. I agree and we have a conversation about ppl we've slept with. Again, I take this as an IOI. Chick is always talking about sex.

    Next week I go over to her house to go to a club with her and her girlfriend. Girlfriend cancels and we end up laying in her bed very close to each other. She's all dolled up, I'm leaning over her, rubbing her stomach, playing with her hair near her ear, etc. AGAIN SHE TURNS THE TOPIC TO SEX. This time in incredible detail. Kill count, guys she's fucked in intimate detail, brings her vibrator manual out. I'm like wtf, I should probbly kiss this bitch now. I'm SO CLOSE TO KISSING her, she's playing with a piece of paper in her hands nervously, I'm pretty sure she was getting all flushed in the face. But she keeps turning her face away from me. Long story short, I pussy out again.

    We end up on the couch to watch a movie, but then she starts texting this guy who she JUST recently starting fucking and invites him over. I'm like K, I'm going to go now - like there's no way I'm going to be your gay friend and just sit here with the knowledge that he's going to come over and fuck you - fuck you like I want to.

    So I piece out. By this time, I'm in a shitty emotional state. I end up texting her immediately saying, "Listen, I don't know if this is out of the blue for you, but I feel like I should have kissed you and I didn't." THAT WAS AN IDIOT MOVE. shouldn't have done that.

    Anyways she texts back an hour later, probably after she's done fucking him, saying, I thought something was up with you. I'm glad you were honest, but I'm glad you didn't. That would have been a bit awkward. Ugh. Did I give off that vibe?

    I'm thinking to myself, bitch wtf? Like everything up to tonight basically made me think you were interested and then you go pull this shit. WTF? Again I make a huge fucking mistake and apologize and say I don't want to lose her as a friend. What a dumbass move. I could literally just kick myself in the nuts.

    Anyways, now I've just started to freeze her out. She's stopped liking my FB posts. And I haven't txted or replied to anything in a week. Just yesterday she cracked though, and liked one of my posts. She invited me to a party she's hosting...I didn't respond to the invite. I'm going to go, but I need a game plan.

    Currently my plan is to act disinterested and hit on other women there. I just don't understand what went wrong. In totally thought she was interested and attracted to me, and then out of nowhere "that would be awkard"? Like what? With all the signals you were giving me??????? WHAT THE FUCK?



    HALLLLLLLLLP

  2. #2
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    Every loser does a freeze out when he's the one who fucked up, but they think "oh man, she doesn't like me, it must be her fault!". Yeah, it's a self-defense mechanism.

    Man, read this very closely:

    You, and only you, fucked up. It was your fault. So freezing her out he's dumb. Get it? Got it? Good.

    You should have kissed her. Even if she rejected you, which I kinda doubt, you should have. It's always better to. What's the worst case scenario? A rejection? Man, feeling rejected is just that. A feeling. And she wouldn't be rejecting you, but the way you built attraction (or lack of).

    Plus, you apologized for doing nothing, really, this was even worse, because now you are the one of the pussiest guys she has ever known.

    Befriend her. It will make you more comfortable with women and it has the upside of giving you the chance of getting to know her female friends.

  3. #3
    Johncorp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    Yeah, Ok, but I already know I fucked up, that's not the issue. The issue is that I feel led on, because during both of the instances where I should have made a move, it was like she wasn't up for it. I'm not interested in being her friend. I have plenty of friends and finding attractive girls in my town is NOT hard.

    Opportunity #1: When I slept over

    She starts putting on her "night face" - all these creams and shit that she puts on her face before she goes to bed. To me, that says I'm not in the mood for anything right now.

    Opportunity #2:When I come over and lie in her bed with her.

    First, she tells me she broke her 6 month no sex streak the other night. Like why the fuck would you tell me that? What am I supposed to say? Good for you? The only thing I can think of other than that she just see's me as a friend is that she was testing me, so I was just like "oh cool, good for you..." (This was the same guy she texted to come over later that night)

    AND..when I was thinking about going in for a kiss, she has her head turned away. Like what am I supposed to do, just grab her face? Like I have no problems kiss closing with other girls. I've just never had to deal with that situation. Usually it's pretty obvious that the girl is into it too...she's leaning towards me, etc. I got none of that, but she was clearly nervous and blushing a bit. So what the fuck?

    But yeah, that's why to me it feels like I'm getting mixed signals. Like if she truly wanted to sleep with me, all she had to do was turn around and face me when we were in bed. Is that too much to ask???

    Regardless, I really want to fix this. If that's even possible. I'm going to a party at her house in a couple days. I guess I'm just wondering how I should proceed. Should I still be touchy flirty around her and initiate lots of kino? Or should I just talk to other girls, kind of ignore her and hit on the other girls there? I mean, I'd like to keep hitting on her and flirting with her and touching her, but I'm scared that she's just being a bitch and just trying to get attention from me while sticking me in this friend zone. And I'll be honest, I have no interest in being friends with her. Sure she's a great girl, but I'd always just be thinking about fucking/kissing her and it would be torture, so fuck that.

  4. #4
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    Man, being in a bed with a girl and touching or whatever you two were doing, or you touching her (which means she was comfortable with your touching) and doing nothing is a no no. It basically says "hey, I'm gay. We'll never have anything more than this.". Obviously she lost her interest in your, moreover, it wasn't the first time she showed interest, what else could you ask?

    Thing is, she was interested in you. She tested you, speaking of other guys likely to prompt you to make a move ("hey, this guy or the other, he's cute. fark me, otherwise goodbye me"). She played mindgames with you, 'cause that's what women do man, they don't do anything directly, they do everything indirectly. That's why most guys don't do a single shit. Because they think girls think the way they do.

    So there's nothing else you can do, because she thinks that you are a wuss and she moved on. Either flirt with her just for the sake of practice, or befriend her. Having loads of friends and whatever it's very good for you, but it seems that you don't have so many female friends, otherwise you'd pick up the clues this girl left you, instead of going through a turmoil of chaos lol.

    It's always good to have more female friends. They will present you to their gfs, which is a great DHV for you, which will enhance your odds of hooking up with another girl. Plus, it's always good to gain experience of talking to women and getting to know their way of doing things.

  5. #5
    Johncorp is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    I actually have a tonne of female friends. I've just never encountered this before because (and this is going to sound incredibly cocky), but I am above average in the looks department. Usually, I have girls approaching me. Usually, I don't have to play games with girls because the sex just kind of happens.

    I've never fucked a girl this hot before though, so that's why my game is all messed up.

    I guess I'm going to just flirt hardcore with her regardless of her let's just be friends stance.

  6. #6
    artandale's Avatar
    artandale is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Mixed Signals/Friend Zoned

    When a girl turns her head away from your kiss--then you still have something to escalate with kino. Her neck. Kiss her neck!!
    Every moment counts, get out of your head and enjoy it.


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