Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

  1. #1
    bk1019 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 114, Level: 2
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 22.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    21
    Points
    114
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    Im 32 years old and she is 22 years old with a child. We have been dating for a couple of months. The first month she would call me all the time,text me all the time, want to see me all the time. The second month less texting, didnt want to hang out as much, would make lots of excuses why she couldnt see me. I talked to her about it and she said she didnt realize what she was doing and was sorry. Things didnt get better and we would make plans and she would constantly cancel at the last minute.It was also hard to get a hold of her as she wouldnt answer phone calls a lot and wouldnt call me back til the next day. I didnt like it and I told her i didnt want to see her anymore because i felt like I was putting in a lot of effort and time and making her a priority while she wasnt. She's always telling me how much she cares about me yet her actions dont align with her words. She said said she was sorry again and we kept things going. Well for the next week things remained the same and then she told me she didnt want to see me anymore because she said she was too busy with her child and job and family etc. Well somehow we agreed to remain together and work things out. Now I only see her maybe once every 10 days and she only lives 15 minutes away. We used to talk on the phone several times a day and now maybe only once maybe twice a day and these are like 5 minute conversations,textin g has also completely stopped. The times i do see her we have a really good time and when we talk on the phone shes telling me how much she cares about me but obviously something is wrong. Ive already backed off from calling her as much so my question is what do you think is going on with her and what course of actions can i do to have her invest more and put more effort in the realtionship like she was doing in the beginning?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
    Points: 31,222, Level: 100
    Level completed: 0%, Points required for next Level: 0
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social25000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Awards:
    Posting Award
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Southern Michigan USA
    Posts
    2,558
    Points
    31,222
    Level
    100
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
    Rep Power
    1391

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    It could be any number of things.
    The 10 year age difference, her child, her job, her emotional issues...

    She doesn't appear to be as into it as you are.
    Honestly your best course of action would be to take a break from her & take a look at yourself to see what areas you might need to improve on; as well as start gaming other girls.

    There's just something not meshing well with the two of you in this situation, and it would be counter-productive to keep pursuing it right now.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    ^^ Agreed. The best thing for you to do is to stop contact. Don't contact her at all. Become distant. The only way to salvage this is to take two steps back and pull away (That's if you WANT to salvage this).

  4. #4
    bk1019 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 114, Level: 2
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 22.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    21
    Points
    114
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    If i want to salvage this do I ignore her for awhile (a couple days,week, etc) and then reinitiate conatact again or just dont conatct her and let her contact me and still answer the phone once in awhile but be short and distant?

  5. #5
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    Personally I would wait and let her contact you. If she contacts you I would answer (sometimes you should ignore the call then call her back after a period of time, say an hour or two). Talk to her but be short and distant. If she asks about it say you've been very busy lately. This will cause her to think about you "why is he so busy all the sudden?".

    Stop being so available. She is losing interest so you must mirror this. If she offers a day to hang out tell her you can't but would love to reschedule. This is the path I would take. Being more available will only hurt you at this point.

  6. #6
    bk1019 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 114, Level: 2
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 22.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    21
    Points
    114
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    I took the advice you all gave me and it seemed to work as she wanted to see me more and became more available. As time time passed I started to begin to call her more and go with the natural flow of things, but now things are back to the way we started as shes distant again and I hardly hear from her. It seems rediculous to me that i would have to constantly play this game with her and act unavailable with her for her to act a certain way. To me this cant be a good sign and there are also signs and clues that shes spending time with another guy. So my question is are these all bad signs that this is a bad relationship thats never never going to have a natural flow and progression or should I resume what i was doing and keep actingunavailable and dont contact her and see if she changes?

  7. #7
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 4,840, Level: 44
    Level completed: 45%, Points required for next Level: 110
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    The frozen tundra. U.S.A.
    Posts
    595
    Points
    4,840
    Level
    44
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 24 Times in 22 Posts
    Rep Power
    228

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    You lost power, started to regain it, then lost it again by doing the same things that caused you to lose it. You had a chance to get things back on track. You blew it. It's been 6-7 days since you last posted. This is by NO MEANS long enough for her to regain enough attraction. You should have continued acting aloof. Then when you guys did hang out you should have done it all on YOUR time, not hers.

    I sense that you're sending out a needy/clingy vibe and it's REALLY turning her off. When you started acting aloof she started to regain attraction but you didn't follow through. Remember this lesson next time. It's almost certainly lost now. Don't contact her. Next time she contacts you tell her you're going to see other people and leave it at that. You need to walk away from this.

  8. #8
    bk1019 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 114, Level: 2
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 22.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    21
    Points
    114
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    I agree with you but I dont think i was being too clingy or needy. For every 2 times she called me i only called her once, i wouldnt even text her. There was only one inccident where i came off as needy....she had been pulled over by a cop and ticketed and she also had a warrant but let her go. The next night in the middle of a phone conversation while supposedly she was in the car on the way to her "dads" the phone hangs up, so i called her back several times to make sure she was ok or being pulled over again, but she never answered. The next day she had a silly excuse that her phone fell in the water and it wouldnt let her answer. Also when she goes to visit her "dad" late at night she never answers the phone which leads me to believe something isnt right. Maybe im confused but i dont see how my behavior is being needy or clingy except maybe for that one inccident.

  9. #9
    Paladin6596 is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 188, Level: 3
    Level completed: 76%, Points required for next Level: 12
    Overall activity: 40.0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points7 days registered
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Orlando, FL
    Posts
    51
    Points
    188
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    13

    Default Re: Girlfriend is becoming more and more distant

    Theres just too much of a gap in age for you to seriously "date" this girl.

    She wants to have fun. You want a wife.


Similar Threads

  1. Distant girlfriend suddenly, what to do?
    By Rando9009 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 11-22-2012, 04:17 PM
  2. reattracting a girlfriend who has become distant
    By Soulja35 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 10-08-2012, 03:13 PM
  3. When she acts distant, I should act even more distant?
    By brianroy in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 02-29-2012, 02:38 PM
  4. Girlfriend no longer interested in sex / has gone distant
    By thegrimsweeper in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 10-10-2011, 12:11 AM
  5. Distant
    By Fiddler in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 11
    Last Thread: 05-04-2011, 02:23 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com