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  1. #1
    SupremeSteve is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me.

    Hey guys, I'm new to flirting and dating in general. I'm a 21 year old with aspergers and didn't start to really try and socialize with people till the past few years. Before that I was just a social outcast and would barely talk to people. Since then I've definitely improved but I'm seriously uncalibrated in social situations and it screws me up when trying to pick up girls.

    I've been hit on a lot but I just can't seem to keep girls interested when there is another attractive dude around the corner with better game. Girls are generally receptive when talking to me but I say awkward things to then that sets them off.

    I'm trying to improve by getting onto tinder and dating girls. I have so many matches but with the vast majority of them I fail to get girls to want to hang out or date. Mostly because I don't know how to attract them.
    So far I've been on 2 legitimate tinder dates out of 40 hb7-9 matches.
    The first date with an hb7.5 went well because I got to use a lot of kino but ruined it when we were about to have sex. We were playing arm wrestling in my car in an isolated location and long story short I said "let's fuck " she knew I was inexperienced after that and said we'll just have a highschool make out session.

    The second date with an hb8 was more like just a friendly get together at a coffee shop and building rapport because I didn't know how to use kino sitting and we had a 2 hr long convo. Nothing flirtatious or sexual was spoken about because I have no idea how to do so. What really dissapoints me is that as soon as I picked the girl up to take her to the coffee shop she got into this convo with using lotion and she was rubbing my hand as an example. She literally wanted me but I failed to escalate because I have no idea how to. The date just ended with me hugging her good bye.

    What should I read or watch to progress?

  2. #2
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    Dude it sounds like you're ACTUALLY doing pretty well. Both of your dates the women were into you, and wanted more, you were just unsure how to get there. When you get more experience you will know what to do and you will be f-closing these girls.

    It's harder for you because of your situation. I've known many guys with Asperger syndrome and they were super cool but would misread social interactions sometimes and say inappropriate things. This can turn women off and something your struggling with. You can overcome this with more experience. One of my students had Asperger syndrome and he did well with the ladies.

    I wish swagman was still around. I believe he had Aspergers and could help you out more. He definitely had game.

    Here's a post I wrote about f-closing. This will tell you, step by step, HOW to f-close. Next time you get into one of these situations you will know what to do. http://www.puaforums.com/how-seduce-...rough-lmr.html

    If you have any more questions let me know. Cheers!

  3. #3
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    I feel you. I have Asperger's too (and have been described as physically attractive as well ). You're smart to try getting out and socializing now years before I did. . The first few steps are the often the most difficult, but with some persistence (which I'm sure you have plenty of if you're like me) and effort you will start walking on your own two feet, and eventually f-close.

    It just takes more experience as DirectisBest said. You will eventually learn to pick up cues better. I do some reading on PUA and social interactions, I just finished Tao of Badass, which was recommended to me by T-Mal.


    Also, DirectisBest, I didn't know you were a professional PUA teacher.

  4. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    Quote Originally Posted by Fire Eater View Post
    Also, DirectisBest, I didn't know you were a professional PUA teacher.
    I'm not. I teach Biology classes at a university. I am by no means a PUA teacher.

  5. #5
    Fire Eater is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I'm not. I teach Biology classes at a university. I am by no means a PUA teacher.
    Oh well, I was close. There isn't much of a difference between the two.

  6. #6
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    I consider myself to be a pretty good looking guy. Not sure if I have aspergers(maybe a tad)but I do believe I have adhd or add and that can be a bit of a barrier. I don't always follow conversations as closely as I should and so sometimes I get lost and people think I'm just aloof or something or not interested. Anyway, don't rely on your looks whatever you do. Good looking people can and do have disabilities but that is beside the point. You want to be funny, engaging, get them to talk about themselves more if you can and just relax. If she senses you aren't relaxed then she can't relax. Just relax go with the flow and have fun. If something feels awkward or like it's a struggle then it's best to let go and keep trying until you get better.

  7. #7
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    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Physically attractive 21yo with Aspergers. Lack of game is hindering me

    It sounds like you're a virgin. That's cool. We all were at some point. But for now, that's something you can use to your advantage. You're obviously somewhat attractive, not necessarily physically, but there's obviously something about you that chicks dig. There's absolutely no doubting that, based upon what you've already described here.

    I have a pretty significant disability myself. For years, I'd be chasing girls and I'd either be hiding my disability, or try being upfront about it, and it would fail either way. But then I learned something...

    What I would suggest, and you really have to do this in the right way... is to take that disability and figure out how it changes you and makes you who you are, how it makes you a great person in your own way. And you need to practice telling that story to people until you're able to do it easily, comfortably, and matter-of-factly. To the point that it really hardly matters at all. That's the point where it actually becomes attractive.

    And then, you use it to your advantage. "You know, this is kind of embarrassing, but now that you know all of this about me, I guess it's not too surprising that I sometimes have trouble making a connection with people... that's why it's so cool that I can have this connection with you." You basically seed your disability into their mind as a unique opportunity to be a better, less judging, more kind, and compassionate person. The important thing here, is you're NOT doing it in a needy way, you're doing it a masculine, bold, upfront way. You're taking ownership of the interaction. And it allows you to make mistakes, and apologize for them if necessary, as it is simply a part of who you are. Basically, you'd be weaving yourself a nice pattern of interactions, where you can take one thread, and if you make a mistake, move to another, far more comfortably.

    I admit, I've been out of pickup for awhile, and I've long since made peace with my own disabilities. But I think that's the best way to cope with a challenging situation that's social in nature. Just be upfront about it, and don't give a shit about it.


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