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  • 3 Post By marvilo
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Thread: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

  1. #1
    BastoD is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    Hey everyone. Long time lurker, but finally joined. Sorry if this is a newbie question, but it seems complicated to me...

    I moved to NY a few months ago and there's this girl I've been working with. Been talking to her whenever she's there about random stuff. Texted here and there. I've built a little rapport over shared interests, but most likely no comfort. I'm pretty sure my game was terrible as well.

    Now for the mistakes I gave my info first and got the number from her later (after a little bit). Asked to hang out once almost every weekend since the beginning of October (Not being pushy but still asking) and worst of all, before building that comfort. Didn't mean to do that, but the flakes kind of led one into the other (always busy with work and home life, but there's always next week). She'll go to lunch when she's free, but never more than that. Usually I would take that as a hint, but since she does actually work very hard and should have little free time, I took it at face value. Now, I'm not so sure. I feel like I had a slight chance in the beginning, but I don't know about now.

    A few days ago, she blew me off about something that I feel was pretty telling and I've stopped engaging as much as I used to. The obligatory hello, if that, but no more and no more texts. This might not work out because there are times I might have to hang with her and a new male friend who happens to know her.

    No one-itis going on here. I'm interested but not full-blown hooked, just curious and open minded. I'm approaching it as more of a game and a learning experience. And I just hate to lose I'm free atm with nothing to really lose, so I'd be willing to try any approach.

    So there it is. Any tips?

  2. #2
    marvilo's Avatar
    marvilo is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    Take some time off from talking to her like you're doing. After a while start talking to her again, just don't be pushy and know when to fall back when you're being pushy. It's all about calibration and knowing when you should do certain things. If you hang out with her just be friendly and do your work nothing more and nothing less. Don't worry about any other guy. When seducing a girl my number one rule is IT'S JUST YOU AND THE GIRL IN YOUR OWN WORLD, NO ONE ELSE!!
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    Marvilo has some great points.

    I would also add: stop trying to build rapport right now. Nlinstead, start flirting & build ATTRACTION.

    Rapport is for building friendships... And a friendship without attraction = Friend Zone.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  4. #4
    BastoD is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    Thanks guys, I'll definitely take those tips into account.

    Anyone else?

  5. #5
    Paladin6596 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    Quote Originally Posted by BastoD View Post
    And I just hate to lose

    This is your problem man. So many guys out there have this "i need to win with every girl" mindset and fail to realize that she just doesn't like you. A girl isn't gonna be mean about it so she's just gonna keep blowing you off and blowing you off until you get the picture.

    You "gaming" this girl to get her to meet up with you is manipulative. "Game" the girls who actually LIKE YOU.

  6. #6
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    i believe you've lost this one, but I will give you some good advice.

    Asked to hang out
    don't ask a girl to hang out, tell her you want to hang out. (might seem a bit nit picky, but it shows non neediness)

    example

    instead of saying "do you want to get a drink with me?" say "I want you to join me for drinks tonight"

    remember, you're not "asking her out" your "telling her you want to go out"

    this is far more assertive and will reduce flakes.

    Asked to hang out once almost every weekend since the beginning of October
    take a hint. if a girl flakes more than 3 times she doesn't want to be with you. next her.

    This might not work out because there are times I might have to hang with her and a new male friend who happens to know her.
    #friendzoned


    as marvilo and tmal stated, raport without attraction = friendzone.

    if you're ok with that, by all means keep talking to her.
    (just remember she's only going to hang out with you when its convenient for her, and your not exactly a priority to her)

    and lastly

    This is your problem man. So many guys out there have this "i need to win with every girl" Mindset and fail to realize that she just doesn't like you. A girl isn't gonna be mean about it so she's just gonna keep blowing you off and blowing you off until you get the picture.
    I couldn't have said it better myself. paladin is spot on.

  7. #7
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    It's hard to swallow that jagged little pill... You know... the one that lets you know the REAL problem lies within YOURSELF.

    However;
    As soon as you come to grips that you've been doing it all wrong, you can fix the problems that have been holding you back.

    I personally SUCKED ASS a couple years ago...
    I was BELOW beta... I whined & cried about my "love life"...

    Now?
    I MAKE MONEY coaching guys who are in the same position I used to be in.
    Why? Because I've been there & learned from experience.

    You're NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER gonna win over every girl!

    That's right! Even the "Allmighty T-Mal" isn't 100% when it comes to game.

    The good news is: There are BILLIONS of women out there in the world!
    And you will ALWAYS have a choice... just choose wisely.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  8. #8
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    The silly thing is that once you get better with women you laugh at the ones that don't want you. You don't really care when they don't because you have allot of options.

    This is my mindest when a girl doesn't want me "Awww that sucks for you. I would have given you the best sex of your life, but since you don't want it I'll give it to another girl." I truly believe this as well.

    There's so many beautiful women in this world it's crazy! Many of them are crazy. Just because they are beautiful does not mean they are worth being with. Pick the ones that are awesome AND beautiful.

  9. #9
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: You'll be a master if you can figure a way out of this one...

    By the way, you're in a new city. It gives you tons of new openers. Approach as many girls as you can, you're in New York man! You don't know the city! Take advantage of that!


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