So, I met this chick on OKCupid. I made a profile with a contrejour picture (basically a picture with the shadow of a person against the sun) and was fooling around with the website. Then we struck and conversation and she suggested to meet at some point. The funny thing was that she was overinvested: writing twice as much as me (asking about my day, wishing me a good night and stuff) and trying to qualify for my attention. Anyway, I sent her my real picture, she didn't comment on it but the date was still on. To be honest, I went along for the heck of it but was not expecting much.
We initially agreed to meet on Saturday but she told me she was too busy, so we postponed it to Sunday. Then, I wrote her Sunday morning to check when we would meet and she told me she was working but we could still meet in the evening. At that point, I was expecting a flake and went on my business. Weirdly enough, she confirmed the date later in the day. She took the train (1 hour away from where I live) just to come see me for a couple of hours, and I really found that cool.
Long story short, she was my type and I could definitely sense a sexual vibe in the air. She was irresistible, so after like 1 hour of chatting I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Some minutes later we were kissing on the lips and then french kissing. She didn't resist and was actually quite passionate about it. We then started cuddling, holding hands and kissing for the whole duration of the date until I took her back to the train station. We talked about where this was going and that we were looking for a bf/gf relationship and she then suggested to come see me again on Thursday. She did stress a couple of times during the date that we were complete strangers to each other and that both me and I would be too naive to trust each other so quickly.
The train she was supposed to take was cancelled and we waited for the next one. Then, that one was cancelled as well and I wanted to stay with her until she found a solution. She kinda became weird at that point: she told me she would figure out something and urged me to leave. I wasn't really comfortable leaving her stranded like that but I could she was becoming very pushy and impatient, so I left (she did hint several times that she's the type of person that needs her alone time). She found some carpooling solution and informed me by sms and I wished her a safe trip back home.
Next day, I wake and I see a sms of hers from 1 am telling me she ended up in another city and she will be staying at her sister's... I sent her a text asking if she was ok and she responded a few mins later saying she was hitchhiking her way to her city. I told her to be careful and wished her a nice day. Then, I sent another text around 6 pm asking her about her day.
Well, she never replied to that one...
It's funny in some way because she was always promptly responding to my messages and she did report to me her whereabouts until this morning.
So, I am trying to understand what happened here:
A) Could she be pissed at me for some reason (ie: I didn't check for her well-being after the hitchhiking or whatever)?
B) Another possibility is that she's having buyer's remorse. I usually don't kiss on first dates but somehow I connected faster with her. Maybe it went too fast for her and she got suspicious... Is there any way to recover from that or have I lost her?
C) If she simply had a change of heart, how should I handle this?
Should I give her some space? Should I freeze her out completely? To be honest, I don't even know whether she arrived safely at home. Maybe I should send a last text to check on her and tell her goodbye or whatever, but I don't know how to phrase it...
D) In case she writes that we should not meet again (or something like that), what's the best way to respond?
There are also some things I could have handled better:
- I have been in a dry spell for some years now. I really like kissing, cuddling and holding hands and I felt very repressed after all those years. I have the impression I came a bit too strong on her, even though she didn't show anything and went along just fine. She was actually way more passionate when kissing than I was. The potential problem is that she didn't see me as a challenge anymore.
- She tried to enquire about my past but I didn't feel like telling her much (I didn't ask about hers at all). She was wondering how a guy like myself ended looking for relationships on a dating site. I just went with "I have dated several women but nothing concrete came out of it because we were incompatible". Is that a good response?
-What would have been the most alpha thing to do at the train station? I really didn't feel like obeying her and wanted to stay along until she found a way back home. However, she was so pushy that it started getting weird, so I didn't insist any further
Anyway, life goes on. On the positive side, I thought I would screw up the french kiss after so many years of not doing it, but I didn't I also got out all this frustration out of my system. Hopefully, I won't behave like that with the next chick I meet. I also have another HB in the cooking, so not all is lost.
Thanks for any advice, mates!