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  1. #1
    TManning is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question Approaching a girl I've witnessed turning down other guys?

    Short version: There is a HB in one of my college night classes. I have personally seen her shoot down 3 different guys who approached her and have heard of her doing it to other guys, including one of my buddies. I normally don't have approach anxiety but witnessing all this is messing with my head and making me hesitate to approach. I have recently seen her riding the subway and other buses a bunch of times so I'm thinking I could approach her there because she won't be around a bunch of immature guys from campus so her guard won't be up. I love a challenge and as the saying goes you miss 100% of the shots you never take. Still having seen her actually shoot guys down is screwing with me mentally and throwing me off my game.

    Details (long): In one of our first classes she was sitting a few rows in front of me (with no one in between) I had my headphones in but they weren't on and I was pretending to read a book because I was getting ready to approach and thinking of how to do it. Just then another guy came and opened her. After a minute of chit chat she told him she was flattered but that she had a boyfriend and he replied "Do I look the type of guy who cares if you have a boyfriend?" Her reply was something along the lines of "Well when you first came over I would have said you looked like a nice guy and I was going to tell you I'm flattered and that it takes guts to approach a girl you don't know. With that reply you gave I will say you look like a jerk who ignores boundaries because he thinks he's entitled to sex with every woman he sees." The guy scooted off pretty quickly and I pretended I was rocking out to music and reading a textbook so as not to embarrass the guy.

    Another time I was waiting for the bus after class. She was leaning on a wall adjacent to me but there were other people as well and I had my headphones on. I saw a guy approach her and I turned off my music so I could eavesdrop (I know, I know). He opened and her answers were short. After a minute she again said she was flattered but that she had a boyfriend. The guy used this boyfriend destroyer:

    HIM: "Does he treat you well?"
    HER: "Yes"
    HIM: "I wouldn't"

    Her reply was "Well unluckily for you I have a healthy self-esteem and strong male role models, so I don't waste my time with asshole guys and bad boy types like you."

    The third time was at the campus cafe which was pretty busy because it was midterms for day classes and everyone was there studying. I was in line and she was sitting not far from me by a partition. I saw a guy approach out of the corner of my eye, I had my hood up and was facing away so I didn't turn around, I just listened. Usual, he opened, she said she was flattered/had a boyfriend but dude kept pushing. He finally said "You must have a number I can reach you at." and she replied Not that YOU can reach me at." while she was on her phone.

    My buddy (we act as wings for each other) told me he tried to approach her on the bus one time. He sat next to her and after he opened he tried to get her to qualify by talking about how everyone on buses is always buried on their phones or with headphones in (like she was) and how people are so anti-social. Both of us have had success with this. However she replied something like "Im one of the anti-social ones. I prefer to be left alone and not make small talk with people. I hope you have a nice day." Then she went back to her phone.

    Two things: I have never seen her be bitchy to anyone, except the third guy a little bit because he couldn't take the hint, but even then she didn't blow him out badly. My buddy also said she didn't raise her voice or completely blow him out. Also she didn't use a boyfriend destroyer on my buddy like she did on the other guys so I'm thinking that it's just a line she uses to get rid of guys.

    Thank-you for reading guys!

  2. #2
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Approaching a girl I've witnessed turning down other guys?

    Just read this, and I don't give advice on the forums anymore, but I felt compelled to give you my take on what you should do. I'm just too busy with life anymore.

    Some other guys might give you more advanced advice that they would personally excel at because they're just more skilled, this is the best, simplest advice for you and your situation.. talking to her and getting her number.

    She obviously has a boyfriend. Whether or not she actually likes him and how the relationship is going is up for interpretation.

    I'd just open her like this, and it'll be super easy for you to do because it'll seem so natural which is always the key for approaches.

    Next time you see her, and you notice there's an opportunity to talk to her, like a real opportunity, not her walking busy to class buried in her phone or with headphones in.

    Walk up to her and say: "You know, I've seen you around quite a bit and I like your sense of style, its so unique and you pull it off well, you seem like a cool girl and I'd to get to know you better. I'm Kyle."

    Very simple, natural, and she will probably act warmly to it because it's genuine, which is different than anything else guys do to her.

    Or you can try if you're cockier and its more congruent to your personality....

    "Every time I see you around, I see another guy tooling on you, hitting on you and acting like a jerk. You have all these boys wrapped your finger, dontcha??" (Make sure you're smiling jokingly after you say it.)

    Then before she has a chance to reply, say:

    "I bet you're actually a really sweet girl, and guys don't even try to get to know you like that"

    Pick one, and just go talk to her man. If she has a boyfriend, it's an uphill battle that honestly, you might not seek the results you're looking for because of it.

    If she tries to tool you by saying, "I have a boyfriend" or some variation, sternly look at her and go...

    "Aww, well congrats, I just wanted to talk to you because you seemed like a nice girl with a great sense of style, but I guess you're not so nice after all."

    That simple.

    Then walk away. If she doesn't immediately call you back, or says hi to you the next time she sees you she's not worth talking to trust me and anybody else on this forum.

    Just be confident confident confident my man.

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