A bit of context:

I've been with a girl for over four months now and am trying to keep the attraction alive. We live about an hour and a quarter apart from each-other. I'm 23, shes 18. Since we've first met we have an amazing chemistry, with similar interests and personality traits. But we both have very busy lives, mine is busier. Also during that time of the month she gets really bad cramps, and also often gets migraines. That in addition to the cold winter can make planning dates a logistical nightmare. She's always too busy to meet up spontaneously, it always has to be planned well in advance. We both live with our parents and she seems to be keeping me away from her parents because she thinks they will scare me off. We've been on five dates so far, and keep in relatively regular contact with texting. We're both in the same religion and aren't going to have sex before marriage.

The first time we met up she drove an hour each way in an unreliable car to meet. Now her car is a bit better, but she has driven all the way to my place three times now. She also paid for our meal on the second date when I went to the washroom, so shes quite a giver, even though she had a bad job and now no job.

Every time I've suggested a date she would jump and the opportunity and always seems super interested in me when she is feeling well.

Pandora's Box:

According to Pandora's Box she's an NDR (connoisseur). There's a part that says:

"Her ideal man is one that needs her. She needs a man she can help,
nurture, and even save. It’s not for him, it’s for her. She needs to do this. This means it’s absolutely crucial that she not only feel needed, but also appreciated. You don’t have to do a ton of “stuff” for her. Little gestures are nice, but more than anything, she needs to hear the words: “You are so good to me,” “I miss you,” “You are the most caring woman I’ve ever met.”"

But we're both very independent. I've gone 7 days without contacting her a couple of times.

The System:

The above kind of goes against the challenge aspect of the system and also typical dating advice is not to be needy or share problems/negatives. So I'm debating whether or not to expose vulnerabilities. On a few occasions though I did show a tiny bit of needyness and the results were good.

A few examples:

She was feeling sick so I "sent her a hug". She didn't reply so after 5 hours I sent another one that was something like "Hmmmff, I send a hug and get nothing in return? I'm feeling very unloved " and she responded very well to that, it lead to a flirty interaction.

Another time she wanted to meet up but I had my hands full with something so I said "I want to see you sooooooooo badly but I cant " and she said something like "tbh I do too " again leading to another date being set up.

Another time she was sick on a day we were planned to meet so I said "I don't care if you're sick I still want to see you. I will hold the thermometer and make you hot chocolate" and we ended up meeting up anyways.

I've also been a challenge which has been working well in general, but not all the time. If I followed the system to the letter obviously we wouldn't be together right now, but I find it's principles to be good for the most part.


Moving forward do you think it would be better for the attraction to stick to challenge, or to show a bit of needyness to bring out her nurturing spirit as pandora's box suggests?