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  • 1 Post By Wolf24

Thread: Serious dilemma

  1. #1
    Zeus101's Avatar
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    Default Serious dilemma

    Hi guys - Zeus here. Some of you oldies will know who I am..

    I find myself on here for an unusual reason, and I don't know where else I can turn to in this time of need..

    To set the scene, I've been off here for quite a while now, and found myself a girlfriend. I thought I was going to settle down and leave this world behind. Until recently, things have been going great, but now they are messed up.
    I always knew I had the natural ability to attract girls in me, and in this world, that is considered an absolute gift - now I view it as a curse.

    At work there is this super cute girl, about 4 years older than me. Technically she is my boss, but we get on so well it hardly seems like it. Anyway, she is in a 7 year relationship, straight through from high school, but is the nicest girl I know and we have so much chemistry.

    Recently we have been spending more time with each other, and after the Christmas party, we ending up sleeping together. We have spoke about it since and neither of us know what to do. She has been having a rocky patch with her boyfriend, but says she likes me and finds it so hard to stay away from me. I feel exactly the same.

    She however has a house with her boyfriend and her family loves him. Of course I am also in a year long relationship as well. After speaking today, she has said we need some time apart (over Christmas) to figure out what we both want. She is scared because she has so much to lose (7 year relationship and a house) and doesn't want to risk it all, however we both know need be happier with each other.

    I want your wise words and opinions on:

    1. What to do
    2. How to go about doing it

    - Zeus
    Wise men don't need advice, Fools wont take it - Benjamin Franklin

    Stick a 50 note onto your forehead and talk to a stripper.. If you can get her to not think about the note, you are gold.

  2. #2
    Wolf24's Avatar
    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Serious dilemma

    Hi bro, long time no see. Let's just dive into your issue, we'll catch up later.

    I want you to forget about the hot chick from work for a sec. I want you to forget about her own problems and focus on yours, just for a minute.

    I'm gonna ask you questions that you might be avoiding to ask yourself, hoping it'll help.

    You already have a girl. Think about her. Think about how she makes you feel. Do you still like her? You said you were thinking about settling down with this gal. What's changed?

    This new girl... Do you think the chemistry between you was built up on sexual tension or something else? If you're thinking of settling, what would you search in a woman that you wanna settle?

    These are my questions for you bro. Or should I say these are your questions for you.

    I wanna add one last thing. We are the risk taking men in this world bro. Without the risks we take, we wouldn't be growing, we wouldn't be improving, we wouldn't be happy. So think about this for a second as well.

    I'd like to hear how this turns out,
    Good luck.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #3
    Zeus101's Avatar
    Zeus101 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Serious dilemma

    Hey mate, good to hear from you pal - wise words as always!

    I do still like my current girl, but the relationship has just been on a down slope recently, and she is becoming less and less patient with me - it's driving me up the wall. I don't want to just chuck away a years work, but at the same time im constantly questioning whether to keep at it or not.

    This new girl - the chemistry at first was built over friendship and the fact that with have loads in common.. The sexual tension came next, and one thing led to another.. She is what I would describe as 'marriage material'.

    Extremely wise words and a lot to think about though mate. If I decide to take the risk and pursue this new girl though, how do I go about it?

    - Zeus
    Wise men don't need advice, Fools wont take it - Benjamin Franklin

    Stick a 50 note onto your forehead and talk to a stripper.. If you can get her to not think about the note, you are gold.

  4. #4
    Wolf24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Serious dilemma

    I would completely be honest to both girls even if that's gonna make things harder. Remember, we don't lie to women and we try to leave them better than we found them, so I advise if you're gonna leave your current girl, do it as alpha as you can.

    About the new girl, I don't know if she knows about your current girl but she took faith in you by telling you about her 7 year old relationship and I think she deserves the same honesty from you too.

    Of course, these are not gonna be easy.

    I see these situations as: It's okay for people to be sad or hurt, but it's not acceptable to leave things hanging. If you're gonna let go, make sure you clear your mind and let it go and be honest about it so the other side can do the same.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  5. #5
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Serious dilemma

    You know what you want... that explosion of dopamine in your brain is screaming go to the work chick. It's new, it's fun, and she's hot. It sure is a dilemma but your emotional state is controlling your rational mind. Fact is, even if she breaks up with her boyfriend it would be completely inappropriate for her to jump right in with you. Same for you, even if your relationship has lasted 1/7th of the length of hers.

    Your going to make this happen, because you want it. And if she wants it as badly as you do, she'll make it happen too. You'll deal with all the crap as it comes your way, and you might even form a nice relationship.

    But I'd like you to consider one factor before your decision is made... if she cheats on her boyfriend of 7 years with you, what's to stop her from creating an equally sensual connection with another man years down the road and cheat on you? It'd be different you might say... but isn't it always.
    You don't need her


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