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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Am kinda lost... what to do with this girl?

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Am kinda lost... what to do with this girl?

    Hey guys,

    I have been around for some time now and have been going through the steep learning curve of PUA. I had like zero success during the first year. The second year however, I have been working on myself on all fronts and have been going on a lot of dates with different girls. In general, I was forcing myself to go out of my comfort zone and test my limits. Sure, I got humiliated a few times but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

    Anyway, the dates never led to anything (either the girls lost interest in me at some point or we were totally not compatible). However, I have been having a bit more of success lately (a couple of kiss-closes) and my self-confidence has skyrocketed as a result (I even get more looks in the street).

    Long story short, I was at a party about 2 weeks ago and met this girl. She was a bit drunk but she seemed genuinely attracted to me (there were 4 guys competing for her attention and she still chose me). Towards the end of the night, we started making out. She was all over me and always holding my hand. Anyway, we exchanged phone numbers and kept seeing each other. We met like 4-5 times and have started behaving like a couple.

    There is one problem though: I am not sure I find her attractive. We almost had sex but I couldn't even get it up (it was really embarrassing). She has a bit of a moustache and 2-3 big moles on her face. Her breasts are tiny and she has a bit of a belly. It's quite a step-down compared to my ex (she was a bitch though). Despite all that, I find her quite sweet. I also really appreciate how caring and affectionate she is towards me (she kisses my hands, takes care of little stuff for me, etc.).

    To be honest, I went to that specific party because I wanted to see one specific girl I liked. Unfortunately, I learned she was taken (she was single during a small time-frame but I missed my chance, damn). I also absolutely didn't think anything of the girl I ended up hooking with (a friend told me she was single and I responded "bleh"). When I look around me in the street, I see dozens of much prettier girls.

    I sure enjoy all the kissing and cuddling (btw, I had a 5 year dry spell before that), but I am not sure if the this a good basis to start a relationship. I have this dilemma between wanting to get laid and wanting to be honest with her (and also myself). If I dump her, it's back to square 1 for me and it may take a while until I find another HB. If I continue, I may end up hurting her.

    I really don't know how to deal with this. Did you guys had similar experiences when you were rAFCs? I have went back home for the Christmas holidays and haven't texted or spoken since then. We will be apart for 2 more weeks. Maybe it's a good opportunity to cut off all contact?

    Thanks in advance, mates!

  2. #2
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    Duca is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am kinda lost... what to do with this girl?

    It depends on what you are searching for

    If you are searching for a long-term serious relationship then it's better to dump her now since it will never work

    If you are just looking for casual sex then I would keep in touch with her

    Just remember that the more you stay with her, the more she becomes attracted to you, so dumping her will be harder and harder (and her feelings will be hurt more)

    So make sure to have a clear idea of what you are looking for


    I had a similar experiences a few months ago: I banged a "normal looking" girl (huge breasts though) immediately after I met her on the beach. Then the day after I called her explaining I didn't want to get into a relationship (she was texting me a lot). We had casual sex a couple of times more and then we lost contact....my dick was happy and her feelings were safe
    DUCA: Titolo nobiliare che nella gerarchia araldica segue quello di principe
    translation
    DUKE: A duke can either be a monarch ruling over a duchy or a member of the nobility, historically of highest rank below the monarch

  3. #3
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am kinda lost... what to do with this girl?

    Well, I am looking for a LTR, so I guess I should ditch her asap.

    I forgot to mention that we have some mutual friends (they are the ones who introduced us to each other), so I don't want to behave as a jerk or I might lose them as well.

    Of course, I am really tempted to have some fun while I can...

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Am kinda lost... what to do with this girl?

    EVERY guy has been with girls who are in the 5-6 range. So don't put yourself down for that. It's part of the process.

    And sometimes, those girls can actually be a lot of fun for a short time.

    Remember, it's not about what other guys think of a girl... it's what YOU think. YOUR opinion is the only one that maters when it comes to being with a girl... even if it's a one nighter.

    For me personally, the girl has to have a cute face. Period. Her body doesn't have to be like a swimsuit model. (In fact, I'm kind of a sucker for curves, so girls who have a little thickness are more attractive to me, than a girl who is built like a 10 yr old boy.)

    Usually though, when a guy gets stuck in a groove where he's ONLY picking up girls who are 5's or 6's, it's because he isn't confident in himself & thinks that the hotter girls are out of his league... So, it's a self-imposed limitation.

    Also- MOST guys (if not ALL) have been with at least one "big girl". And that's also not a bad thing. They can be wildcats in bed.

    The thing is, ALL of us have different tastes.
    Some guys have a thing for Asian girls... some guys like black girls, some guys like big boobs while others prefer small ones.

    Some guys like girls with a nice big butt... and others like petite girls. There's no right or wrong type here... it's all a matter of knowing what honestly turns you on & learning to be confident about your own preferences.

    But if you're not into a girl with moles & a mustache, then don't pursue; especially if it actually turns you off.

    The constant difficulty in performing will start to affect your confidence in the bedroom on a regular basis & you'll end up psyching yourself out & not being able to get it up, even when you're with a hot girl. (It's like self-sabotage)

    Just be honest with yourself.



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