I have been around for some time now and have been going through the steep learning curve of PUA. I had like zero success during the first year. The second year however, I have been working on myself on all fronts and have been going on a lot of dates with different girls. In general, I was forcing myself to go out of my comfort zone and test my limits. Sure, I got humiliated a few times but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
Anyway, the dates never led to anything (either the girls lost interest in me at some point or we were totally not compatible). However, I have been having a bit more of success lately (a couple of kiss-closes) and my self-confidence has skyrocketed as a result (I even get more looks in the street).
Long story short, I was at a party about 2 weeks ago and met this girl. She was a bit drunk but she seemed genuinely attracted to me (there were 4 guys competing for her attention and she still chose me). Towards the end of the night, we started making out. She was all over me and always holding my hand. Anyway, we exchanged phone numbers and kept seeing each other. We met like 4-5 times and have started behaving like a couple.
There is one problem though: I am not sure I find her attractive. We almost had sex but I couldn't even get it up (it was really embarrassing). She has a bit of a moustache and 2-3 big moles on her face. Her breasts are tiny and she has a bit of a belly. It's quite a step-down compared to my ex (she was a bitch though). Despite all that, I find her quite sweet. I also really appreciate how caring and affectionate she is towards me (she kisses my hands, takes care of little stuff for me, etc.).
To be honest, I went to that specific party because I wanted to see one specific girl I liked. Unfortunately, I learned she was taken (she was single during a small time-frame but I missed my chance, damn). I also absolutely didn't think anything of the girl I ended up hooking with (a friend told me she was single and I responded "bleh"). When I look around me in the street, I see dozens of much prettier girls.
I sure enjoy all the kissing and cuddling (btw, I had a 5 year dry spell before that), but I am not sure if the this a good basis to start a relationship. I have this dilemma between wanting to get laid and wanting to be honest with her (and also myself). If I dump her, it's back to square 1 for me and it may take a while until I find another HB. If I continue, I may end up hurting her.
I really don't know how to deal with this. Did you guys had similar experiences when you were rAFCs? I have went back home for the Christmas holidays and haven't texted or spoken since then. We will be apart for 2 more weeks. Maybe it's a good opportunity to cut off all contact?
Thanks in advance, mates!