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  1. #1
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Working my way through Tao. Enjoying all the stuff in there.

    I'm just terrible at banter. I'm practicing on anything that will hold still. I seem to come off as rude when I try to make a joke, and people generally aren't warming to play along and joke around. Maybe I'm too sarcastic.

    I feel like if I asked my friends they would say I try too hard to be funny.

    Where is the balance?

    What can I study? (I've researched improv)

    It's frustrating cause I feel like I can start out well, and then at some point I loose what to continue talking about.

    Example:

    Guy at work showing pictures of his baby. "Wow, great pictures. I didn't know you could still buy kids off the black market, did you get a good deal." Him: "fark you"

    Girl I've seen as a "regular" at a slow Restraunt bar. Me: "you look familiar, i know ive seen you here before. i never forget cute...cell phone case.". Her: "haha. I'm usually in here three nights a week." Me: "Does this place ever get busy, or are you the one responsible for paying the rent?" Her: "some times it gets busy." Spins in her chair picks up her phone, and keeps her head glued down.

    Bartender I'm having fun with. Standing over by me, but at a service station. Looking down the bar zoning out. Me: "so how many breaks per hour did the union negotiate for you?" Her: oh you're mister sassy pants huh? I guess you'll be getting some of my sass now.
    (This is awesome I think)
    Her to a bar back: hey, apparently I'm on a break right now so ill be back in a while.
    Literally she disappears, for 10 min. When she returns she avoids me completely, makes another bar tender give me my bill. Then when I'm leaving walks down to my end of the bar and says to the person next to me, "sorry, I'm back now." Which may not have been directed at me, but man it sure felt like it. I just smiled to myself. I have no choice but to go back in there, cause my boss takes me. Ps I had two drinks and 4 waters, I wasn't drunk, buzzed, or anything...

    What do I do to up my banter game? This is brutal!!!

  2. #2
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Ps. I'm sitting up straight, leaned a little back, chin down, eye contact, hands on my lap. Light tone. I'm not a robot.

  3. #3
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Here's another example.

    I texted "cupcake" the girl that works at the cupcake store...

    Me: hey cupcake! How many diets have you ruined today?
    Her: excuse me?!!!
    Me: I suppose if you lick off the frosting you could call them muffins, but I still don't think you're selling health food.
    Her: who is this.
    (Seriously? I met her two days ago at this point. Not to be a jerk. Replied.)
    Me: this is jack. You met me at the fountain before work on Sunday.

    Nothing...

  4. #4
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    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    You still need to build attraction.
    And keep practicing.

    You're gonna have duds along the way...it's just part of learning.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Thanks. Back to the drawing board!

  6. #6
    CapPickup is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Are you Having fun when you do this?

    The key here is to have fun. I say obnoxious things to women but because i think it's funny, they will think it's funny too (Law of Transference)

    Not all people will get you though, and you just have to brush it off. For example i have this really dumb chick at work that takes every single shit I say seriously. Like literally, I'm one bad day away from telling her my penis grants wishes and she'll believe it, I just need a solid back story.

    You can say anything you want as long as you think it's funny. Don't try to be funny for the other person. SELF AMUSE. I've been doing that since the beginning of time and sure I get called an asshole, jerk, rude, mean among other things some girls even tell me "I don't like you" but they still hang out with me, they still go out, be friends with me etc...

    For example :
    We were at work and I just said this out of the blue
    Me: What if one day you wake up and you found out you have a penis?
    Her: hahaha what the fark?
    Me: Just answer it come on. Be fun!
    Her:Why are you asking me this? (Still laughing)
    Me: Cause I woke up this morning and when I went to the bathroom to pee, My vajayjay is gone and is replace with this thing, this long... I'll spare you the details...
    Her: hahahahaha okay. ummm if i have a penis, I would just like whip it out anytime I want. At the street, at the job like anywhere. I'd be really dirty with it hahaha
    Me: OMG! That is exactly what I did this morning! Hey if you ever wake up with a penis, will you go out with me and we'll whip it out together?
    Her: Sounds great!

    This girl has a really good sense of humor btw so I wouldn't really advice asking this question to any girls lol

  7. #7
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Awesome cap. Thanks. I was practicing "yes, and..." Last night. From Tina Feys rules of improv. I'm cutting back on the one liners, and making statements to keep the other person talking.

    Example:
    Me: did Santa bring you the Xbox you wanted?
    Barber: no but I got a tv.
    Me: hey that's a great start. I bet you got it for a steal.
    Barber: yea, I did. Best buy.
    Me: that's awesome. You watched a rom com to break it in.
    Barber: haha don't tell everyone man.
    Me: you're missing prime time right now. What's on the dvr later?

    And on. I kept it rolling off his Xbox made it TV shows, and spun off of some car show to the new Tessa's.

    Bartender stranger later had his phone out in the first five minutes telling me about when he was a commercial diver for exotic pet fish. Much improved. Gawd love Tina.

    By the way dude...that penis question is hysterical. I laughed out loud!

  8. #8
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I am TERRIBLE at Banter...how do I fix this?

    Also on day two of renaissan whetyourwoman field practice. He credits lance masons pickup 101.

    Walk a day. Smile and say hi to everyone. First woman you see, stop and say more than hello.


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