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  1. #1
    jorgensenmrs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Insecure girls after the F close...

    So what do you guys typically use for game with really insecure girls?

    I typically end up being more the cocky/cheeky side of things in conversation, but with this one girl I've needed to err on the side of caution when it comes to such expression since I've noticed she's negatively responded to it. Typically I will make light fun at my partner with what they are up to/interests/hobbies and use pet names as jokes, but this girl was notably turned off the main time I remember doing so on our last date. I remember the convo switching back to more serious discussion on life afterwards (which worked because we have similar views on what we discussed, and just FYI I F-closed still, but am looking to continue my game with her).

    I've complimented her after that (we've hung out a few times since and same thing) and she's notably lit up with gratitude from such comments. Is it ok to continue them and maybe lay them on more heavily or would that eventually come off as an expression of low value?

    Any advice?

  2. #2
    Icenberg is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Insecure girls after the F close...

    I have the same problem as you. Last two girls I dated seemed insecure and our conversations were more of a serious and mature sort, and very little flirting because I would almost not get a response from flirting, making me reaction-seeking. First girl I dated we talked like that for almost two months after f-close with nothing happening (flaked every date ). The last one is still talking to me 3 weeks after f-close, but she stated she needs time to get a view on her life, making me not comfortable flirting with her as I feel I'll just push her away

  3. #3
    jorgensenmrs is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Insecure girls after the F close...

    Quote Originally Posted by Icenberg View Post
    I have the same problem as you. Last two girls I dated seemed insecure and our conversations were more of a serious and mature sort, and very little flirting because I would almost not get a response from flirting, making me reaction-seeking. First girl I dated we talked like that for almost two months after f-close with nothing happening (flaked every date ). The last one is still talking to me 3 weeks after f-close, but she stated she needs time to get a view on her life, making me not comfortable flirting with her as I feel I'll just push her away
    Obviously we are both experiencing the same problem icenberg, but I noticed you said one thing that got me thinking: Reaction-Seeking behavior. Maybe part of the key here is to not seek their reactions and that ends up dissipating their attraction to us after we come off as confident at first.

    Just so you know, to fix this problem on my own I ran through some topics we talked about and found some jokes to make that are more situationally oriented that we have both experienced (example: remember when they cut off the music on our first date and we were the only ones dancing? We're geniuses, ha-ha-ha).

    Additionally, if they are self-conscious then maybe they just don't like the spotlight being on them so much, so when we joke we should make more self-deprecating humor and then remind them of when we stupidly did "xxxx" that time where we were on a date at "xxxx" to develop comfort and continue building attraction (example: remember when I thought it would be a good idea to go dancing at a bars trivia night? ha-ha-ha)

    Additionally, instead of poking fun at more 'core' attributes maybe making fun of peripheral things is more what we should aim for (for example, they told me a dream about bears, so I can make fun of their love about bears as a joke, even though we both know she doesn't like them very much, as opposed to joking about her love of dogs - which she has two of - because it is a little more real and something to be self-conscious about).

    Some ideas I'm working with, and I'll let you know what happens if you'd like. The girl I'm seeing now I really like, so I'm cautious on experimenting too much here and trying to play it safe and within my normal expressionisms


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