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  1. #1
    tylerd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    Hey fellas. There is a thread in the 'How to get your ex back' section with the long version of what happened and the aftermath, but the short version is as follows: We dated for 2 years and live together for 6 months. Just before our 2 year anniversary I had a one night stand while on a business trip. Somehow she found out and I came home to find all her stuff gone, with only her phone left behind (because we were on a couple's plan I guess). I never even had a chance to explain. I don't know where she is living, I don't know her new phone number and she has blocked me on email and Facebook. I tried calling her at work but the calls all go through a switchboard and I'm told she "unavailable" and not given a chance to leave a message. And because she works in a hospital where the ER is behind doors and not just anyone can just walk in I can't just drop in to see her. In short I have no way to see or contact her.

    Last night after a few drinks at the bar my buddy really wasn't feeling well and I jumped at the chance to take him to the ER knowing she would be there. After we were admitted and he was in a room I was waiting to bump into her. However before that happened I heard 2 nurses outside by the nursing station gushing about the new security guard. I was only half paying attention until one of them said that she switched shifts with *girlfriends name* on New Years Eve because the security guard had asked her on a date. So now I'm reeling. We just broke up, I know she still loves me and already she is going out with someones else. I listened to more of the nurses conversation and apparently security guard is new and just got out of the army. Which is a huge thing because my girlfriend was also in the army for 10 years. When the nurse came in to attend to my buddy I asked her if *girlfriends name* was working, but she just gave me the stinkeye and walked out of the room. After I heard my girlfriend's voice down the hallway so I went out to talk with her. She tried to run past me saying she had a patient to deal with but I just stood there and kept talking. She wouldn't listen and kept cutting me off when I tried to explain and confront her about her date (which she did admit to) she said she would get a restraining order if I ever contacted her again. Security ended up coming and escorting me out. I was told my buddy was drunk and nothing more and would be kicked out when he sobered up. I was told if I come back and bother my girlfriend the police will be called, and I was escorted out because I had interfered with her trying to help a patient (whatever).

    I can't believe any of this. I am reeling that she is moving on so quickly. I just want to explain and tell her I'm sorry. What PUA techniques or other things can I do to get her back? Please help guys. I know this seems like oneitits but I wanted to marry this girl one day and don't want to lose her over one stupid mistake.
    Last edited by tylerd; 12-30-2014 at 06:43 PM. Reason: clarity

  2. #2
    Jack Sherwood is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    Yo man. I don't know what to tell you. I've cheated, and been cheated on. I thought I would get over it when it happened to me. I moved past it for a while. But I never got over it. The trust was gone. Forever. Especially since I travel for work too. That pit in your stomach. That's what she has. She's been in the service...then she's seen front row what cheating does to families. The military is saturated with these kinda stories, in the field, and home front. When you showed up at her work, especially an ER you put a target on your back, and you violated her comfort zone. You go back...you're going to jail. Probably at the hands of the new security guard. Who now, likely has a full print up on you, and they've had a security briefing about you. Your picture is printed out, and will be on their office wall for at least 6 months. (Any ex mil, Leo, or security will confirm that.im trying to give you a reality check. )

    Sorry man. You did this, not her. Now you gotta man up amd deal with the consequences. You'll probably never talk to her again. It might take you a year before you feel normal again. Be healthy about it. Don't booze yourself, or anything worse. Learn from the experience. Make yourself stronger, and get back out there when you're ready.

    Post here whenever you need. Rant rave, tell me how wrong I am. Whatever you need. Take care of yourself now. Good luck.

  3. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    How the hell did she find out before you even got home ?!?!?!!!!!??

  4. #4
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    How the hell did she find out before you even got home ?!?!?!!!!!??

    Not going to lie I loled at your comment, could be possible that OP told his girlfriend on the phone at the time?

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    I don't get it ..... I cheated a on a business trip when I was married ( not saying it was a good thing to do but it happened, I have a weakness for blonde Swedish chicks) and my wife had zero clue and she was a very smart woman .... how this girl found out is beyond me, I think there is more to the story

  6. #6
    tylerd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    Hey guys. Sorry I wasn't more clear. There is more detail in my other post.

    She didn't leave me until 10 days after I got back from my trip. When I got back everything was fine and she didn't act any different. In fact on the morning of the day she left she kissed me goodbye and told me she loved me when I left. When I got home on that day (again 10 days later) her stuff was gone, and there was a picture of me and the other girl in the lobby of my hotel (a photo that came from the surveillance camera). I have no idea how she found out. The other girl was just a random girl I met. We only gave first names, didn't exchange numbers or text and the hotel was paid for by my company. Also I know for a fact she was back in our home city and didn't follow me. I didn't tell a soul that I cheated either. The only thing I can think of right now is that she hired a PI. However I have traveled for work many times and there is no way she could have afforded a PI each time. Also I never cheated on her, she could check my phone, my email, my Facebook, my texts and there was nothing even remotely incriminating. She wasn't ever a jealous girl. So I have no idea how she found out, I acted normal when I got back and when I left I wasn't planning on cheating so I couldn't have been acting suspicious.

    At this point though I can't even ask her how she knew since she won't even talk to me. I seriously miss her and just want her to give me a second chance. I know I could make it up to her.

  7. #7
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    She got images of you and the girl in the lobby? She hired a PI? You sure you want to be with this chick?

  8. #8
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    I'm not going to get into where the picture came from right now ,...BUT how is a picture of you and a girl in the lobby of a hotel incriminating unless you have your tongue in her mouth !?!?!?!

  9. #9
    tylerd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    We were holding hands in the picture. Not quite tongue down the throat but still incriminating enough I guess.

    I have looked at the money from our bank account and credit card. I handled the financial stuff since we moved in together because that's what I do for work. There was nothing billed to a PI electronically and no cash withdrawals large enough to be payment for a PI so honestly I don't know. I really want to know how she found out. Not that I am ever going to cheat on her again, but I am curious.

  10. #10
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I cheated, she left. Found out she has a date with another guy

    So I'm in science and we are always thinking logically to solve problems .....so my question is who would have access to the surveillance video footage and what is the connection to your girlfriend ?!?!?!?!?!

    Another thought, could this other girl you met have been a set up !?!?!? I know we are moving away from you getting back with her but I am blown away that you got caught !!!!


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