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Thread: How to handle an upcoming argument?

  1. #1
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How to handle an upcoming argument?

    Hey guys,

    I was dating this girl for a couple of weeks before the Christmas break. We got intimate quite quickly and were seeing each other almost every day during that period. From her general behavior, I was under the impression that we had become a couple (she was very sweet, kissing my hands and hugging me all the time).

    Anyway, we exchanged goodbye/holiday wishes text messages the day before I left. So far so good. Then, the next day I arrived a bit too early at the airport and had to kill time somehow. I was looking at the various shops and then wrote a short text telling her about what I was doing and commenting about something she told me the day before.

    Well, she never replied. No even a "have a nice flight/trip" which is like the bare minimum. I received such messages from simple friends, I expected to also receive one from my supposed gf. At that point, something was fishy and I suspected she changed her mind about me.

    I thought of testing her and sent her a merry xmas sms on the 25th. No reply to that one either... To me, this is simply rude and decided she was not worth my time. I will not waste any more time chasing her but I still want to understand this sudden change of behavior.

    First mistake, we had already said goodbye to each other, so it may have been needy to write again. However, if we were truly a couple, it shouldn't be a problem. Many couples communicate at least once per day (and I personally like such interactions, ie: sharing a thought or describing something funny I saw, etc.).
    Second mistake, my message might have been too plain. I should have inserted something cocky/funny.

    I am coming back on Sunday and she knows it. I am really curious to see what will happen. Either she does not write to me and it's officially over, or she does send me a message like nothing ever happened. If that ever happens, I wonder what my stance should be...

    I really need to make a point and explain that her lack of communication is inadmissible. The trick is avoiding sounding butt-hurt and thus acting as a beta. What would be an appropriate alpha male response to such behavior? I am still new to the game and have not had to deal with direct confrontations yet.

    Any advice would be helpful.
    Thanks mates!

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT say to her that her lack of communication is inadmissible .... it makes you look too needy, I know all of us have had girls who make us think "why hasn’t she texted me back" but it happens and you have to learn let it go, you’ll be a lot happier. Your messages were fine, and the Merry Christmas message was totally appropriate. I would wait until you get back to see if she texts you, if she doesn’t you might want to send something like this after a few days


    Top Reasons Why you Don’t respond to my texts

    You really can't read
    You forgot to pay your internet bill
    I texted you during your beauty regime when you are completely unreachable by any form of modern day communication
    You moved to Fiji to start a coconut farm
    You are becoming a nun and took a vow of silence
    I texted the wrong (her name)
    Your fingers are sticky from Jello Wrestling and you can’t touch your keyboard
    You were abducted by aliens






    If she doesn’t respond to that, LET HER GO and move on …. GL

  3. #3
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT say to her that her lack of communication is inadmissible .... it makes you look too needy


    Ok, I get it. Nevertheless, she behaved in an inappropriate manner. If she expects to be in a relationship with me, she needs to learn that I do not tolerate this shit. If I don't put her in my frame, then this will happen again.

    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    I would wait until you get back to see if she texts you, if she doesnít you might want to send something like this after a few days
    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post


    Top Reasons Why you Donít respond to my texts

    You really can't read
    You forgot to pay your internet bill
    I texted you during your beauty regime when you are completely unreachable by any form of modern day communication
    You moved to Fiji to start a coconut farm
    You are becoming a nun and took a vow of silence
    I texted the wrong (her name)
    Your fingers are sticky from Jello Wrestling and you canít touch your keyboard
    You were abducted by aliens

    This message is indeed funny, but it sounds a bit needy/butt-hurt. I think the effect would be exactly the same as starting an argument.

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    I was under the impression that we had become a couple
    ah, you made a very dangerous assumption. you assumed she was your girlfriend when she likely saw you as one of the guys she's "casually dating". my bet is that you never made it to being an "exclusive couple" .

    I really need to make a point and explain that her lack of communication is inadmissible.
    i'll tell you exactly what she'll tell you if you flip sh!t on her about it.
    something along the lines of "we weren't actually dating"


    its 2015, people don't just jump into exclusive relationships anymore. we often have this "friends but more than friends" casual dating phase that takes place before the relationship becomes mutually exclusive. during this phase a girl will go on dates and do things couples do, but she'll do it with several guys at the same time and play out her options. (as men we can do the same thing to women)

    flipping out on her isn't going to make this any better for you.

    don't allow your feelings to blind your judgment.

    all too often guys develop feelings for a girl prematurely. you have fallen into that trap. you developed feelings for her before she had them for you. (you can't win in that kind of situation)

    imo the girl should always be the one who is pursuing a relationship, while the guy should pursue sex and try to avoid commitment until the girl is thoroughly committed to him.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    I've been in lots of relationships where even after a few months, the girl will tell her friends that "We are seeing each other" ....... LOL .... and YES, the girlfriend assumption was premature and mistaken .... she has to talk about exclusivity before you start thinking that is the case

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    I love this it's a funny way to call her out without being a dick about it and it's totally not needy


    Top Reasons Why you Don’t respond to my texts

    You really can't read
    You forgot to pay your internet bill
    I texted you during your beauty regime when you are completely unreachable by any form of modern day communication
    You moved to Fiji to start a coconut farm
    You are becoming a nun and took a vow of silence
    I texted the wrong (her name)
    Your fingers are sticky from Jello Wrestling and you can’t touch your keyboard
    You were abducted by aliens


  7. #7
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    ah, you made a very dangerous assumption. you assumed she was your girlfriend when she likely saw you as one of the guys she's "casually dating". my bet is that you never made it to being an "exclusive couple".

    its 2015, people don't just jump into exclusive relationships anymore. we often have this "friends but more than friends" casual dating phase that takes place before the relationship becomes mutually exclusive. during this phase a girl will go on dates and do things couples do, but she'll do it with several guys at the same time and play out her options. (as men we can do the same thing to women)
    Thanks for your input, guys. You are most probably right about how things work in modern day relationships.

    However, the observations you made are valid... for shitty girls mostly. I have met my share of girls during the past 3 years and I can tell you that most of them do not behave like that. I have also witnessed several couples being formed and none of the guys or girls were playing around as you describe. These games come from shitty people and the best thing we have to do is tell them to fuck off. I am much better off without her, so I am not feeling sad about what happened.

    My problem however is that the girls I end up dating turn out to be the shitty type of persons. I really need to review my standards...


    Quote Originally Posted by drgnsfire12 View Post
    I've been in lots of relationships where even after a few months, the girl will tell her friends that "We are seeing each other" ....... LOL .... and YES, the girlfriend assumption was premature and mistaken .... she has to talk about exclusivity before you start thinking that is the case
    That's exactly what I would describe as a shitty girl. Not even worth our time.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    all too often guys develop feelings for a girl prematurely. you have fallen into that trap. you developed feelings for her before she had them for you. (you can't win in that kind of situation)

    imo the girl should always be the one who is pursuing a relationship, while the guy should pursue sex and try to avoid commitment until the girl is thoroughly committed to him.
    Sure, I was premature in my assessment and that was my mistake. I will make sure to be more careful in the future. And I will be more careful whom I date.

    Good point about the girl being the one chasing. Not always achievable, but it does make your life simpler when it happens.

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    However, the observations you made are valid... for shitty girls mostly.
    ah, but where the real problem lies is that these "shitty girls" are also the ones who are writing dating advice columns in magazines and dating advice books that help women learn to manipulate men. (if you don't believe me, read the best new York times selling book "the rules")

    might I also add that most hot girls who are single are usually in that category ("sh!tty girls" as you call them)

  9. #9
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    ah, but where the real problem lies is that these "shitty girls" are also the ones who are writing dating advice columns in magazines and dating advice books that help women learn to manipulate men. (if you don't believe me, read the best new York times selling book "the rules")
    You are absolutely right, these columnists write all sort of venom that gets in women's heads. Thank God, not all women read this crap. Better move on if you meet women that follow such dating rules.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    might I also add that most hot girls who are single are usually in that category ("sh!tty girls" as you call them)
    And that's why men should not be too superficial and focus only on looks (if you are looking for ONS, that's another story of course). I met with an old friend the other day and he kept complaining about his constant problems in his current and past relationships. I told him to dump the girl he is currently dating (he would have absolutely no problem finding a new one) but he refused justifying it with the fact she was hot.

    As you said, many hot girls have shitty attitudes and entitlement issues. I do not consider these girls to be relationship material. If you cannot get along in the first place, why bother? I think it's important to remind in these forums that life is not about getting laid at any cost.

  10. #10
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to handle an upcoming argument?

    As you said, many hot girls have shitty attitudes and entitlement issues. I do not consider these girls to be relationship material. If you cannot get along in the first place, why bother? I think it's important to remind in these forums that life is not about getting laid at any cost.
    couldn't have said it better myself.

    most hot girls now a days are complete b!tches, but i can't blame them. all these afc's worship them like goddesses just because they have nice body's. i even know several hb 9+ girls who are lesbians because they resent how pathetic men are around them. (just one example of the fact that hot girls actually resent the fact that men treat them differently because of their looks)

    if theirs anything to learn from this, it is a simple statement from david x "treat them all the same"

    if all men adopted this philosophy, the world would be a better place. fat girls wouldn't be so depressed, and hot girls wouldn't feel so entitled. but that's not going to ever happen, even i have fallen pray to liking hot girls... well.. just because they were hot...


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