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  • 1 Post By drgnsfire12

Thread: How to not trust so easily?

  1. #1
    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default How to not trust so easily?

    Hey guys, senior in college here. The last girl I got close too i ignored all the red flags and always gave her the benefit of the doubt. She kept telling me she didnt want a boyfriend but the more she said that the more i reached for her. Then i found out shes seeing her ex behind my back and just left me to dry. I was heartbroken, i was just left in the dust with no reason why.

    I then went on to have the best semester in college academically and also had a handful of girls, it was awesome. Now i am in my last semester and I just met a girl, asked her out to dinner and now i want to go about this differently. I like this chick, shes pretty cool, but how do I go about trusting her differently?

    I do not want to be controlling and go through her phone, thats just crazy. I know girls always test us to see if they can trust us or for whatever other reason. Is there any tests us guys can throw at them?

    Any helpful advice is welcome, thanks guys.

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to not trust so easily?

    Unfortunately, most of us will experience betrayal at some point in our lives and yes it sucks and it's painful and it makes us angry and once your trust has been betrayed, most of us will be less trusting the next time around.
    What you need to do is separate your future from your past and remind yourself that your future does not have to mirror your past. Just because someone from your past has taken advantage of your trust doesn't mean that others will do the same. Assign responsibility where it belongs (the girl, she has the problem, she f×cked up), and remind yourself that this new girl in your life is not the same one who screwed you in the past, she is a new chapter and there is no reason to think that she will be like the last chapter. In the end there is always a chance you will have your trust broken but if you live in fear of that you will miss out on a lot of great girls. By the way, don't ever go through a girls phone its lame and so AFC .... GL

  3. #3
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    hometownextra is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to not trust so easily?

    This is more of a matter of attachment. I just got done taking this one square in the teeth myself. You just got to let her go and move on to the next target. Do not sell yourself short and be beta trying to get her back it isn't worth it. That and if you did the obvious trust issues will make it never a good situation. By nature we do not like to lose, but the alpha knows to move on and find people who actually appreciate them and there time.

    It isn't your loss trust me. They lose because doing the same thing over and over with the ex and expecting different results is only definable as insanity.

    Chin up plenty of others are worth your time more
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

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    johnnybob62 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to not trust so easily?

    thanks guys.

    drgnfire12 you make a good point to separate each.

    and i would never go through a girls phone lol, thats just crazy.

    but the last time i gave a girl space, freedom, and trust she betrayed me. i REALLY believe everything she said and thought we had something real, but i guess not.

    i just dont know when to trust and when not to...if you can understand that?

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to not trust so easily?

    Johnny, I used to know this guy who was a big PUA guy, when I first started in the scene I would go out to clubs with him a lot. The thing he used to say about girls and trust was that he was an Alpha male, any girl who was with him should consider herself lucky, and if you cheat on him or break his trust you are a complete idiot and it didn't matter to him because he would be out at a club the next night and hook up with another girl .... now while his attitude is very alpha and lots of guys would say YES, that's the way to be, I'm not sure if that thought pattern works for everybody but I think it's always good to look at different opinions when trying to solve an issue ..... and YES, I do know what you mean ...... GL

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How to not trust so easily?

    I like this chick, shes pretty cool, but how do I go about trusting her differently?
    realize that she's a different person from the one who betrayed you, and give her the benefit of the doubt.

    always give women the freedom to choose, think of it as a test for her, if you give her freedom and she's still faithful that means she really wants you and you alone.

    guys that try to hold women under their thumbs are the ones who get cheated on the most. their insecurities become self fulfilling prophecies.

    you should learn to have a high level of indifference in these kind of circumstances. the mindset I have is very indifferent.

    "I will give her freedom, if she cheats on me, that's her loss because I know that I'm an amazing guy, and she was lucky that I was attracted to her in the first place. some other girl probably deserves me more."

    read that mindset again until you fully understand what it means. once you've internalized it, no cheating girls will be able to hurt you.

    another mindset that I like to use,(but you may not like it) is this one:

    "if she cheats on me, that just gives me a good excuse to have an open relationship"

    (this is more of a way to just look on the bright side, because I've always wanted to try an open relationship) I make women aware of this, and often the thought of me farking dozens of other girls makes women less inclined to cheat.

    in the wise words of david x "always give the girl just enough rope to hang herself"


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