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  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Should I contact her again?

    I used to see this girl (who is a nurse) every Wednesday at 6am through the window of my kitchen! Once I got prepared and once she turned up I approached her and told her that I wanted her number. She gave me her email address, I emailed her and she responded after a couple of days.

    We exchanged a few emails in 7-10 days-ish until I suggested a meet up. She said she would work the whole week, would go to see her family on the weekend, and will be on night shifts the next week and then she will text me to meet up.

    I replied on that email and said OK. That email was sent to me 15 days ago, and ever since she has not contact me at all. The week in which she would work night shifts ended so I think she should have contacted me by now. I have a feeling that something was in my last email that made her lose interest.

    My question is that do you think I should contact her again or just let it go? And if you think I have to re-stablish a connection, what would be a good message to let me grab a new hook but does not make me look needy? I do not want to put her on the pedestal at all.

    Cheers mates

  2. #2
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    She said that she would text you to meet up. Do you have each other's phone numbers ? If you have her number, I would send her a ping text asking, "How are you ?" since it's already been 2 weeks. Then do a few light and playful texts and set up a date.
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  3. #3
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    Quote Originally Posted by WillEdward View Post
    She said that she would text you to meet up. Do you have each other's phone numbers ? If you have her number, I would send her a ping text asking, "How are you ?" since it's already been 2 weeks. Then do a few light and playful texts and set up a date.
    I only have her email. She said she would text me but she completely stopped communicating with me which seems strange to me unless I've said something in my last email that has put her off. I guess I need to send a short email that can ignite some interest in her again and make her re-initiate the communication but I do not know what to say (because I know I will have only one shot!) :-)

  4. #4
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    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    You have right idea. The same principles in text game pretty much apply to email as well. Ping her and ask how she is doing. Keep the email short, light and playful. Eventually you will want to get the number so you can communicate more easily with her and move up to the next step and not just be an email contact.
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  5. #5
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    Quote Originally Posted by WillEdward View Post
    You have right idea. The same principles in text game pretty much apply to email as well. Ping her and ask how she is doing. Keep the email short, light and playful. Eventually you will want to get the number so you can communicate more easily with her and move up to the next step and not just be an email contact.
    Thank you. Don't you think just a "hey how are you" is kind of boring and will not get a hook for me? She can simply ignore that message and they my game will be over. I need help to come up with something short but strong.

    Although I want to use this as a practice to improve my game I do not want to put her on the pedestal and come off as a chaser. That's another reason that I asked you guys here to see if you would try to re-establish your connection with her or you would let her go?

  6. #6
    WillEdward's Avatar
    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    That's a just a generic ping. If you gave her a nickname and can refer back to something interesting in the conversation you guys talked, then use that to get a better response. For example, "Hey (nickname)- how was (last interesting thread) ?"
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  7. #7
    BatMan's Avatar
    BatMan is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    I'm going to be blunt. Her excuses for not meeting up were pure bullshit.

    Every woman that wanted me MADE time to meet up. I'm talking about finding babysitters, cancelling their own birthday parties, or other important family or holiday events.

    And you know what the ones that didn't want to meet up with me did? Told me they were folding laundry or had to go visit her mother or was just "busy" and wouldn't specify.

    I'm not sure what was said in the emails, but if you were at all doing most of the talking and she was one wording you then the affection is completely one sided.

    I'm not sure I have a clear answer as to how to do damage control on this. But it is pretty obvious you need more attraction. So don't try for another meet up yet.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  8. #8
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    Thanks BatMan.

    She did not send me one-word messages. We were investing in the convo equally. Here is her email:

    Hi xxx,
    How are you? Im so sorry about my delayed reply. I have only just had a chance to look at my emails as I have been working all weekend and its been very busy. Melbourne is a very welcoming place I really do love it.

    I have a brother in Melbourne who is a couple of years younger. Where are your family? Are they overseas? Its great that you have an aussie family and good friends who are here.
    Thankyou for giving me your number, I am working for the rest of this week with the weekend off but I am actually heading back to Melbourne on Saturday until Monday and then on night shifts unfortunately but perhaps after then we could catch up for a coffee perhaps? I can text you when I have days off once I am back from Melbourne.
    Hope you are having a nice long weekend.
    yyyyy

    ---------------

    And here is my last email. I guess I farked it up when I tried to get a meet up sooner:

    Hey yyyy,
    Gee you worked on Australia day so I hope you get some time in lieu instead. [blah blah]



    [4 lines of chinwag here]




    yyyy enjoy your time in Melbourne and then definitely let's arrange a catch up. I just found a parking spot in North Sydney (yay!) so I will be able to drive which will will help me to come home sooner. If you do not work night shifts this week maybe we could do a drink or dinner before you head off to Melbourne.


    Chat soon,
    xxxx



    -----------------------

    I personally think apart from asking her to meet up sooner my message was OK. If she did not stop responding for that reason she must be crazy or something? :-)

    For the sake of learning, what would be a good message to re-open her?

    Cheers

  9. #9
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    Hmmm interesting. She is interested from what I can tell. And she suddenly went cold turkey. I don't think you said anything off putting.

    Whenever something like this happens where I just cannot see where I went wrong I put it on something else. Remember, it's not always about you lol.

    One time I got really acquainted with a girl who was friends with my ex. I later found out she was in Puerto Rico where I was in the North East US. So I basically gave up. But still talked with her and she told me she had plans to come to the North East anyways cause it's where she's from and that we should get together. Everything was great. Until the week she was suppose to show up. She just disappeared on me. Like a ghost. I felt terrible. I had really liked her. 6 months later I found out she got pregnant by one of her guy friends and that's why she disappeared on me. I thought for a long time it was something I did that drove her away.

    So it could really not have anything to do with you and may just be an ex or another guy. But don't be upset. Continue to check in on her once every two weeks and one day she will be on the prowl again and you will be on her radar.

    Reopen with the "I think I saw your twin" opener.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  10. #10
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Should I contact her again?

    Great advice Batman. Thank you. Let's hope she has not got pregnant haha. I will shoot her an email using "I saw twin" . Cheers mate


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