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Thread: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

  1. #1
    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Hi I'm new to this forum, and to pick up in general but have progressed pretty quickly in a matter of months. I always have had a natural ability to attract women and have always been told that I am a handsome guy however Kino and learning to "pull the trigger" is something I've been practicing and getting better at. HERE IS THE PROBLEM: there is a girl that I met in school a couple of years ago and had an extensive conversation with her about philosophy when I first met her. I've bumped into her twice since then. the last time that I bumped into her I happen to be "sarging" in a target when I saw her. when we met eyes I boldly and confidently approach her and immediately projected a strong sexual energy to her with strong eye contact and getting into her personal space. she began asking me a bunch of questions like an interview and seem to be extremely nervous which made me feel more calm. she would ask me questions and not even let me really finish answering. so I told her enough is enough took her merchandise out of her hand and said come on let's go we're going to go to Starbucks across the way and she agreed. on our way out I let her with my hand on her back and then my arm around her briefly and as we started to walk toward Starbucks or arms making contact. when we got to Starbucks I paid for her coffee and mine only because she pulled out her card but seem to be waiting for me to pay. we SAT there for a good couple of hours with her doing all of the talking hardly letting me get a word in at all. from where I was sitting I found it difficult to find an opportunity to touch her. eventually I interrupted her and asked if she wanted to head back to target to get her merchandise which in hindsight I think was a mistake. we went outside and it seemed as if the sexual chemistry had faded kind if paused. she stood still in the parking lot still talking to me for a bit asking me what I was going to do but she seems confused. she was a few feet from her car apparently and I asked her is this your car? she said yes and gave me a very friendzone type hug. at this point I was confused because I had not yet realized what had happened. I was still planning to make a move on her. then she got in the car and drove off as I shouted at her from the distance that I would hit her up. she gave me a card in the beginning of the encounter that had her name and email and a phone number on it. It turned out that her phone was turned off. so then, I didn't end up contacting her until two days later on Facebook. I said the number you gave me is not working how are you. no response, the next day I messaged her saying" I have a confession to make" she responded answering both messages and asking me what is my confession. I told her" I would prefer to tell you in person. Meet me tonight" she said " i cant. Haha you're scaring me. Why can't you just type it." I said there's no reason to be scared, our evening together ended too abruptly. I want to see you again. join me for an elegant dinner or some other adventure. when are you free?" she has not responded in a day and a half. I am Not sure what is the best thing to do now. I have thought that perhaps maybe it would be a good idea to say something like" aaahhh! I get it you are.a scardy cat because you know what I'm going to do to you. I respect that." and just leave it at that and see if she inquires about what it is that I will do to her then just be straight out and tell her the nasty things that are in my mind. I have to be honest I really want this girl. does anyone have any suggestions? what are my options? THANK YOU

  2. #2
    BatMan's Avatar
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Nice. You had a very strong approach. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have been backed up properly. But this is just my opinion.
    There are two types of attraction. I forget what they are called. But one is for the moment and the other lasts. The one in the moment is when you're the fun party guy at the bar. But once she gets home to her normal sober life that attraction is gone. While the other is the one that stays with her when she goes home.

    I think that's what happened my friend. You came on strong and sexual, but you didn't solidify it. On top of that you let her do most of the talking, which I know can be tough to get them to stop, but you aren't doing yourself any favors by letting her go on and on. Then your follow up Facebook messages do warrant some caution on her part. You're really horny and want her and I believe she sees it. It doesn't seem like a lot of comfort building was going on, at least on your part, so because of your sexual energy you likely came across as a player. And we PUAs are better than that.

    The one thing I see guys NOT doing, including PUAs, is not qualifying women. Qualification is soooooo important. Most men approach women cause they've already decided they want them. But forget that they have to verbally say that they are interested at some point to bridge the gap between building attraction and building comfort.

    The other really good thing about qualification is that it solidifies any attraction she has for you. So when she goes home she knows why you like her. Let me ask you...if you were in her head and were asked "why does he like me" what would be your answer?

    So if you know you didn't tell her why she is special to you in any way then she will likely land on "he just wants to sleep with me." Which is fine if that's what she wants. But with her obvious resistant she may need to know she's worth more to you than booty. So you have to tell her before you start seducing again. I say take it a few steps back and fish for special traits of her that she wants to be admired for. Find whatever she is good at or loves doing and start with "Wow. I didn't know that about you. That's amazing. I think you just became my future ex-wife." A little playfulness thrown in to calibrate.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Batman hit on a VERY important subject in qualification. So many guys, including ones who get allot of women (PUA's included), think you shouldn't tell a girl what you like about them. It's total B.S. If you like a girl, after you've created some attraction, tell her! Tell her why you think she's special and tell her about personality traits she posses that make her unique. This is truly powerful and will sweep a girl off her feet.

    So many guys will tell their friends what makes a girl special but not the actual girl. It's a shame really.

  4. #4
    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    DUDE, that is very insightful Batman. I definitely didn't do that enough. I'm still unsure what would be the right thing to do from here. she still hasn't responded, is it a lost cause? I can't just message her again and say "by the way i like this this and this about you" can i? She is participating at an art event tonight which she posted on her fb as sort of an open invite. To be honest, my impulse is to write her a poem, show up there, and give it to her. This girl really inspired me. Would that be a foolish move? What options do i have now? Should i ping her again? Leave it b? Any advice??

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    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    DUDE, that is very insightful Batman. I definitely didn't do that enough. I'm still unsure what would be the right thing to do from here. she still hasn't responded, is it a lost cause? I can't just message her again and say "by the way i like this this and this about you" can i? She is participating at an art event tonight which she posted on her fb as sort of an open invite. To be honest, my impulse is to write her a poem, show up there, and give it to her. This girl really inspired me. Would that be a foolish move? What options do i have now? Should i ping her again? Leave it b? Any advice??

  6. #6
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    I'm really not sure what you should do. It's left up to high risk/high regard or low risk/low reward. I tend to go with low risk low reward. But sometimes you just have to take that leap.

    High risk/high reward: you could write the poem and make it very personal. Which is technically what she might need from you anyways.

    Low risk/low reward: text her in a few days with something that reminded you of her. The more unique the better.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  7. #7
    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Ok, let me just say that have intended to express how much i appreciate, in length, the suggestion of qualification but i haven't had the opportunity to do so. I do, however, need some more advice. I did decide to write the poem and made it very personal. When i saw her she seemed happy to see me but she was in a rush to leave the event. I handed to her and she seemed slightly uncomfortable so i abruptly said bye and sent her a Facebook message telling her i didn't expect a thing from her but wanted to Express to her how I felt and told her that she inspired me to do so. then I wrote take care.( to be honest this is all uncharted territory to me so I've been just winging it) she did respond the next day saying that she loved the poem and then she seriously appreciate it, then she gave me an explanation why she had to rush off. I responded saying" great! I'm glad you enjoyed it" then kind of made small talk asking her how the event that she had to rush off to went. this was Saturday, I haven't had a response from her since then. I am really learning from this and would really appreciate any thoughts our idea s you or anyone might have as to how I should generally or specifically handle this situation from here on out. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
    Last edited by littleweener1000; 02-17-2015 at 10:35 PM. Reason: mistake

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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Well you made a huge IOI so now I think it's time to step back for a bit. You did well by ending the convo first a couple of times.

    You can do one of two things.

    A: Go for a meet up in a few days. Tell her you want to meet for coffee/ice cream/ whatever, but that you can only stay for about an hour cause you have to be somewhere. It let's her feel comfortable for meeting with you without the worry of having no way to get out of an uncomfortable situation cause you already have to be somewhere. A friend of mine showed me how to use time constraints to get a meet up. And once you're with her and having a good time let her know your plans "fell through" and you can then hang out with her the rest of the day/night.

    B: Work on building attraction again then move to comfort through phone and messages. While putting qualification in between. Almost like a do-over cause it seems she lost attraction. Doesn't mean she's not interested. I just view attraction as a magnet. Like you can't get her away from you cause she's just magnetized to you. To me that's attraction. Which is separate from interest or "like" in my eyes.
    "All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth."

  9. #9
    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    See our only communication is through facebook right now and there are two problems. She hasn't responded to my previous message which was a response toher so i just assumed i shouldn't message her again until she does. I tried to keep it small talk order to build some comfort, but no response. Second, i am not sure how to build attraction on Facebook being that its not real-time like phone or text or in person.

  10. #10
    littleweener1000 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: ***NEEDHELPFAST!*** didn't pull the trigger!! she is flat lining!

    Also, as far as asking her out. Do i just tell her i time and place or ask when she is free. I feel like I'm being a chump if i just keep asking her out and don't give her an ultimatum at some point
    Last edited by littleweener1000; 02-18-2015 at 12:17 AM. Reason: mistake


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