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Thread: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

  1. #11
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    Thank you ALL! this is awesome!!
    Direct the cocky funny link is hilarious lol

    my last question how do you respond to questions like "so what are you looking for". I try to avoid it, but girls keep putting me on the spot. I'm not into a relationship, but I don't want to say it like that...

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    This post should be sticky on the main page! it has all the information needed to handle the first date

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    "so what are you looking for".
    I have 3 responses to this question just off the top of my head.

    1. (being a smart ass) "I'm looking for peace, love, and happiness" (say it in a sassy way so she gets that you're annoyed by her question)

    2.(being completely honest, but using the right words) "I'm looking to live in the moment and see where things go" (its not lying, its just leaving open possibility's)

    3. (being even more sly) "I'm just looking for fun times with fun people" (don't be sexual when you say it, maybe even hint that you are friend zoning her)


    there's nothing wrong with telling the truth, but use the right words so you leave her with the idea that there is a possibility of more than just sex.

  4. #14
    Thrill is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    I LOVE that question! It's an IOI. One of my favorite responses is to say, with a smile and looking into her eyes, "I would tell you, but that would be cheating. I want you to just be yourself." I've found that girls love that because it (1) comforts them to know that they don't have to be someone who they're not, so they feel more relaxed and more likely to follow your lead; and (2) keeps them guessing about you want, making you kind of mysterious, which lures them in more.

    I gather that you worry a bit about situations for which you don't feel fully prepared, which is common in the early stages. In general, don't stress the "tough" questions or unique situations. Soak them up! Each encounter is a learning experience, and there are plenty of fishes in the sea. Sure, there are better responses than others, but the most important thing that I've found is your demeanor. As the adage goes, "Don't let them see you sweat." They will perceive that as confidence, which is attractive. But remember, there's a fine line between confidence/not stressing (good) and acting like you don't give a shit about them (bad).

  5. #15
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    Wow!! I don't know how to thank all of you!!!
    I can't wait for my next date

  6. #16
    Thrill is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    Thank us with a successful field report

  7. #17
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    I will write a report if i succeeded thanks!!

  8. #18
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    1- Use the Dicarlo escalation latter youtube it

    2- I'd prefer you take them out on a night date, doesn't matter what or where as long as it is someplace you feel chill in.

    3- Do not! Talk about that! Unless they do then be honest.

    4-Exactly !!! You mean shit, she only cares about herself and how you see her make her think she's important to you but don't make it too easy.

    5- Example when she talks about something you don't like just say I don't want to hear about that tell me more about that trip you had or something you really want to hear about.

    6- Again the latter, see those videos. So what man, just go straight to your room.

    It's okay dude you just want to learn like anyone. Go out and have fun.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  9. #19
    fredyyy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    Thank you I will watch the Dicarlo escalation in a bit.
    I went 2 days ago on a date to eat ice cream. I complimented her when I first saw her. I let it her talk about herself, we laughed, I qualified her a little, and I used some cocky funny. I kept the date short and I ended it on my term, then I walked her to her car then I kissed her and I told her maybe we'll do something fun on the weekend (I couldn't make a move in the middle of the date). I felt my date was really solid.

    Now here's the surprise, I never heard from that girl! I'm really going crazy to know what I'm doing wrong. This time the girl was short, curvy and average looking, (I should be like her jackpot date lol). I thought by going on a date with an average girl instead of a pretty one could give me some practice since I will be more comfortable trying all these techniques you guys told me about. Yet again I'm still failing after the 1st date. This is my fail number 7 in a row lol I'm not taking it personal or anything, but I really want to fix this problem, and I don't know how. All these girls I'm meeting were from online dating (tinder, okcupid...etc..). Also, in my last date, we exchanged pictures and selfies before the date so she know that I don't look different from the pictures in my online profile. (this exclude somebody's suggestion that I might be looking different online than in the real world).

    I'm thinking about recording myself for next time. any thoughts?
    Thank you for reading

  10. #20
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: Keep Failing 1st dates...advice please

    Dude,

    1- Her being less attractive does not mean easier to nail.

    2- You already went on seven dates with seven different women that's more than some AFCs go on their whole lives. Don't take that away from yourself.

    3- I don't know what you're doing wrong, but all I can say is that it's a numbers game.

    4- No don't record yourself that is an invasion of her privacy, you have no right to do that, legally and morally.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.


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