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  • 1 Post By WillEdward

Thread: GF just dumped me! I need some expert advice PLEASE!

  1. #1
    machoman is offline PUA in Training
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    Default GF just dumped me! I need some expert advice PLEASE!

    I posted on here about saving a dying relationship, but as it turned out it was already gone. After a year and a half, my girlfriend left me. We had fought, and after that had not talked for two days. On the second night she messaged me saying shes bringing my stuff to me at my parents place (as we lived at her place mostly), that this isn't working and we need to break up. We talked when she came, and she said she isnt happy, that we havent been doing well for a long time and that "she loves me, but isnt in love with me anymore". Now, we had problems, and fights but I know that the underlying issue is that after i fell for her, our lives became one. I dropped my hobbies, friends and betrayed myself as she became the only thing i cared about. I had changed, and obviously that codependency was unattractive, causing her to become hostile and argumentative over menial things. Neither of us were happy near the end. Still, when she came and said it was over, I was in shock. I wanted to work things out, saying I could change, be that partner she needed (she thought i was too demanding and controlling), told her to give it a chance, but of course she was already set on her choice (Trust me, I know better than to be begging). I know a lot of you would suggest to leave and never come back, but I do love this girl still and want to work this out. Ive decided to detox myself by going No Contact for 30 days, and sorting out my own insecurities and issues. Its now day 5, and I havent talked to her. She sent me a long email two days ago pretty much summarizing what she felt were the problems and saying how she didnt mean to hurt me, how she deeply cares for me, and would be open to working this out in the future (within months, a year, or years as she put it), but she needs to focus on herself (i can PM the email if anyone wants to see and help me analyze). First few days were fucking terrible, but i still went out, I laid another girl and have been trying to focus on myself. I didnt respond to her email which i trust is the right choice if we are to get back together at some point. She knows how codependent I am so i figure fighting the urge to reply would both help me and show her she's wrong. Im still pretty distraught and dont know whats going on... How does she feel, is she relieved? Does she miss me? Is she looking for someone else? What are the chances that we do get back together after this time of No contact passes? Was it okay that I didn't respond to the email? God Im fucking wrecked, its like coming off heroine.


    I need your thoughts and your help with this one boys, I do love this girl

  2. #2
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GF just dumped me! I need some expert advice PLEASE!

    I would treat that as red flag to me it seems she wants you to chase her don't do it

    Quote Originally Posted by machoman View Post
    "she loves me, but isnt in love with me anymore".
    Also you mention that shes the only thing you care about. I think you need to start doing your own thing again (hobbies, going out, etc...) because you put her on a pedestal by dropping them and making her your number 1 priority...

    But overall I think you need to ask yourself this question and be honest with yourself. "Do you really want to get back with her?" As you say towards the end neither of you two were happy with being together, how would a second chance make a difference? Probably not....

    Your situation reminds me of a previous relationship of mine. I ended up getting back with my ex at the time but the second time was a waste of time for the both of us it was more because we didn't want it to end even though it had ended already. I fooled myself into thinking I could make it work again cause I didn't want to be single.

    Just my opinion on the matter though, It's better to move on while you're still ahead.....
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  3. #3
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    WillEdward is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF just dumped me! I need some expert advice PLEASE!

    Kylemc is on point. There are plenty of other girls you can game. Come out on top and don't be phased by this
    Elevate Your Game | Check out my blog for lay reports, attraction and dancefloor game tips !

    willedward.com

  4. #4
    scottybel is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF just dumped me! I need some expert advice PLEASE!

    instead of wasting your time and energy on someone that doesn't deserve you, you should just use that same energy towards you and pick yourself up, focus and treat yourself good instead of always being down and sad. Just to let you know, girls can feel that aura of energy when someone is so positive and so confident in life.


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