Need advice about my sex life
This time I'm looking for advice my bros and bear with me in this long thread because I'm gonna provide every little detail. So here we go.
My girlfriend and I are having less and less sex with each passing day and I'm kinda ashamed to tell you but we only have sex once a month or even worse, once every two months.
Let me explain why I think is the reason why. We're both in college, living with our parents, we don't have our own cars, basically we can't provide for ourselves. So you can guess we can't have sex out of the blue. We have to make plans in advance, arrange our families so they give us some space (family part coming up), arrange how and when we're gonna meet (we live 45 mins apart), etc. So we don't really have this sexy sex talk like "let's do it right here right now babe I missed you", but we kinda have to arrange it like a business meeting and that attitude towards sex kills the mood for both of us, especially for her.
She's been pulling herself away from sex more and more. She always says she wants to do it but every time I try to get her into the mood she freaks out and gets all nervous because of the arrangement thing I said above. The reason why is that, her family doesn't know we've been farking, because sex before marriage is heavily frowned upon in my country & culture and parents with daughters especially freak out about this and politely say: "What if he isn't the one? You'll just get your heart broken if you let your guard down." but they really mean: "OMG he might be a raper stay away!" (I could expand this family & culture topic but it's a story for another day)
So we can't do this at her house and she lies to her parents about coming to my house which ups her nervous meter. My parents know about us banging because they kinda figured it out when I asked them to leave the house for a few times, but my gf doesn't know that my parents know and I think I can't tell her because she mentioned that if my parents knew they'd think that she's a whore. Of course they wouldn't but she doesn't listen to logic since she's already in that emotional mindset. So add another point to the nervous meter.
(Little something to add here: I tried to encourage her to open up to her parents hoping that they would eventually support us but I started to think it's not my place to suggest that. If something bad would happen, I certainly don't need the blame.)
She genuinely believes that if our parents got together, my parents would just blurt out the fact that she's coming to my house which will "ruin everything". Of course that wouldn't happen either. But meh, you go add 1 more point to the nervous column.
We were dreaming to have endless bangs when we got our own place but she got so nervous about sex that she already started to frame me about having less sex in the future by saying things like: "Love is more important for me, I don't want our relationship to be focused on sex...blabla" and I'm trying to hold my frame by saying: "Sex adds up to our relationship, if we didn't have sex we would have something missing, we wouldn't know each other this well...blabla" But I'm having a tough time hanging on to my frame.
I mean man, I'm a dude and I want to fark this girl day and night and I know she loves it once we close that door and it's just the two of us. But I started to think all this effort, arguing, comforting her, arranging things might be too much if we're just gonna do this once a month.
And I sure as hell don't want to be like the husbands who beg to their wives to have sex like: "Baby can I please put my penis into your vagina?" and get shot down effortlessly yet still have to kiss and cuddle their gals to sleep. Just no, man. I want this to be exciting, mind-blowing and as natural and effortless as it can be.
Thanks for lending your time guys. I know it's been a huge read but I still have a ton to get off my chest. I hope you have something helpful for me.
It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.
It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.