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Thread: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

  1. #21
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    We made plans for Saturday but she just messaged me last night that she's "still turned off from last week."
    And "It's just why would I continue putting effort into a relationship that is essentially a long and drawn out friends with benefits situation? I personally haven't had time for a real relationship in over 2 years but I've also never casually dated anyone for this long. It's just. The effort needed exceeds whatever fucking type of relationship this is. Sorry that sounds rude but I don't know how else to articulate that. I don't like rushing into things but I also don't like things that are headed absolutely nowhere and that is the vibe you've given me."

    What do I do/say?
    I almost feel like saying something about how she only has time for non serious relationships but that I'm sorry that we've gotten along well enough to where we were still enjoying eachothers company months later!
    like its a bad thing that something hasn't ended it already? It's an oxymoron.

    Let me know your advice!

  2. #22
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    She still needs to cool down. This is where you're willing to let bygons be bygons kicks in. I wouldn't text her straight away...just be busy. I hope one of the more experienced guys has better advice but for now this is all I got. Stick to your guns.

  3. #23
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    Ok I won't text her yet. Maybe someone else will chime in with extra advice :-)

  4. #24
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    be upfront about what you want.find other options if you will.From dynamics she MIGHT BE looking for a boyfriend and im sure you can't handle that now.go straightforward or loose her soon.I would be honest though.

  5. #25
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    So I guess I'll just tell her that I'm sorry if I gave her the impression that I wanted a serious relationship but I can't right now....
    Something like:
    I think you're really cool and I like seeing her a lot but I can only see her in a non serious context.even though you say you are too busy for a serious relationship, you sounds like that's you want one. I guess the last few people you saw didn't work out after a short period of time and it makes you uncomfortable that we've got along so well for this long. I like seeing you but I'm not able to commit right now so I understand if you don't want to hang out anymore.

    Along those lines?

  6. #26
    gamer1138 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    She took well to my response saying that she just got more emotional over me than she expected and I didn't do anything wrong and she still wants to see me.
    So all seems well for now
    Thanks everyone for your advice

  7. #27
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    You say whatever you think. It would be best to do it in person but it looks like she's taking that option away from you. I would go with something like "I really enjoy spending time with you and I think you're awesome. However I can't commit to a serious relationship right now and that's what you want. It's not going to work out with us. It was a pleasure meeting you (her name)."

    That's it. You end it then you go cold. Don't contact her anymore. Don't try to hang out with her, nothing. If you stick to your guns she'll eventually contact you again and want to hang out. It might be a month later or 6 months later but she will.

    The more you withdraw from the situation right now the better. She's withdrawing from you because she doesn't like that you guys aren't in a relationship yet. This caused you to change your behavior and start chasing her more. It also caused you to worry and come on here for advice. See how that worked for her? It also will work in your favor. You tell her the truth and end it. Then you stop contacting her. She'll start to wonder "why hasn't he contacted me" and "did I make a mistake". Hopefully she'll start to chase you again.

  8. #28
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    Quote Originally Posted by gamer1138 View Post
    She took well to my response saying that she just got more emotional over me than she expected and I didn't do anything wrong and she still wants to see me.
    So all seems well for now
    Thanks everyone for your advice
    I wish I would have seen this before I wrote my other response.

    See how that worked? You showed the ability to walk away and she ate it up. She realized "I like this guy and he's okay with not seeing me anymore. I actually don't want that."

    If you would have continued to chase her she would have kept withdrawing and it would have been over. By saying "hey if that's what you want that's fine, but that's not what I want. It wont work out". You took all the power she held in the interaction and took control of the situation. She likes you even more now then she did before.

    It goes back to my advice about staying the same no matter what her mood swings are. This was just a big test and you passed. You always pass by not being effected by what she says and being able to walk away if you don't like it. You're the driver here, not her. She can come along for the ride if she wants but it's your ride. Remember that because she will throw more tests at you again. Cheers!

  9. #29
    xavier's Avatar
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I think you're doing fine and yes, I would wait longer. I've been in similar situations before and if she mentions it again tell her the truth like Xavier said.

    The key here is that you need to be a rock. When you're with a girl long enough they will have mood swings like this. You need to be honest and lay down the law. If she's not happy with it, there's the door. With this attitude she'll stick around. When you start caving to her ridiculousness you lose.

    I do this all the time. My last girlfriend got mad when I pushed her off my lap at a friends house. She got all b*tchy and gave me attitude all night when we went to the bars. I didn't care. I had a good time with our friends and she got over it. Another time she got all upset when I wouldn't sit with her on the couch and instead I sat in a chair by myself. She kept giving me the "evil eye" and I thought it was super funny. I just kept laughing at her and telling her how funny she is when she's mad. I stayed in my chair and she got over it. She recently moved over seas for two years and I told her "I think you're awesome but I'm not staying celibate for that long. If I have a girlfriend when you get back I won't break up with her for you. That's not fair". She agreed and sexts me constantly to this day. Why? Because I'm a rock and she knows that I'll do whatever I want regardless of what she says. This is how you keep a girl.

    So in your situation you have to keep this attitude. Tell her the truth and be able to walk away if she doesn't accept it. Don't back down. The funny thing about this is if you do walk away there's a very good chance she'll come back, and she'll like you WAY more because of it.
    I couldn't have said it better myself .

    @gamer1138 You are in good hands don't worry man.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  10. #30
    fancy16 is offline PUA in Training Achievements:
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    Default Re: She says shes tired of feeling like a Booty Call....

    Quote Originally Posted by gamer1138 View Post
    So I guess I'll just tell her that I'm sorry if I gave her the impression that I wanted a serious relationship but I can't right now....
    Something like:
    I think you're really cool and I like seeing her a lot but I can only see her in a non serious context.even though you say you are too busy for a serious relationship, you sounds like that's you want one. I guess the last few people you saw didn't work out after a short period of time and it makes you uncomfortable that we've got along so well for this long. I like seeing you but I'm not able to commit right now so I understand if you don't want to hang out anymore.

    Along those lines?
    I just have read your posts and that sounds ok


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