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  1. #1
    Tornado is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default first date experiences after meeting online

    I did some online game and over the past 2,5 months I arranged a date with four woman. Hereby a summary.


    • unlike the others she contacted me
    • she has children and they were not with her when we started conversation and it seemed she wanted to use this time at maximum
    • phone numbers exchanged but the meeting was arranged by e-mail
    • we agreed to meet in a bar, but I passed the bar and went to far. When I finally arrived she isn't there anymore. I called her and text-ed her a few times but she didn't had connection (maybe she was in the metro). After a while she returns my call and tells me that she's coming back to this place.
    • She was asking me more questions as I was doing
    • She's not my type, but I didn't mind. It found it a good practice.


    • She didn't show a recent picture on the site and also mentioned a wrong area of work and age because according to her there were colleageus from her on this site. She didn't want to tell more online but instead said that it's better to meet once.
    • she didn't want to talk beforehand on the phone, only wanted to agree about the meeting by e-mail
    • 4 hours before the meeting she texts me and e-mails me to tell she is sick and wants to postpone
    • 1,5 week later I ask her how she's doing. She replies she's much better and likes to meet the week after.
    • No news one week later and i'll message her and offer two days (Saturday and Monday). She accepts Monday.
    • During the day she sends a text saying she feels pain in her back and asks if I come earlier. I tell her that I'll try, but I can't promise because of work. In reality I arrive just shortly before the initial meeting time.
    • When we met I lead her to a bar, but over there it turned into a situation where she was asking most of the questions (it made me nervous and when she asked me something about my hobbies I even had a kind of blackout!)


    • Agreed about a date by e-mail
    • The day before she cancels telling me she is sick
    • 4 days later she contacts me again and proposes a new meeting
    • The day of the meeting there appeared to be a huge traffic jam on the way. What would have taken me normally 30 minutes, took me now more than 90 minutes… needless to say I arrived incredibly late. However, she took the situation lightly and we were sending each other many funny text messages between the bar and the car
    • She was quite cool and relaxed
    • Also she asked me many questions, but now I responded with a joke…. How am I doing on your checklist?
    • I moved with her to another bar. At the moment we were about to walk out of this first bar a friend of her comes in and they conversated for a couple of minutes.
    • The conversation went more or less smooth, although I felt that she had somewhat the upper hand because she was asking more questions than I did
    • She's a nice person, but I couldn't really build a hook with her


    • The picture which she has on the site looks like it's taken by a professional photographer, while the pictures of many other profiles seem to be taken by friends/family or even by themselfes.
    • I conversated with her online about two months ago and there was a very good, fun conversation with some c&f
    • She dissapeared for a while and recently logged in again. I messaged her and she replied "I'm fed up of virtual communication. I'm trying to focus on real life interaction. It is much more human and rewarding". Then we exchanged phone numbers and I called her some days later.
    • The phone conversation was like the online conversation; very funny and it made me look forward to the meeting a lot
    • 4 hours before the meeting she texts me saying she has fever
    • Currently no new plans made

    The biggest similarity between cases J, A and C is that they cancel/postpone, but the way they did it was with very kind, very polite words and writing many apologies which gives the impression that their reason is genuine. However, I read somewhere that if the cancel/postpone happens by text or e-mail is that you never can know their true reason because you don't even hear their voice or intonation.

    Lessons learned:

    • Leave and arrive very early
    • don't make the appointment by e-mail, but by phone. In other words, try to get some report before by phone
    • Don't push for a meeting (many other man do this). If she feels some comfort she will propose this by her own.


    1. Is a delay from their side one of "the rules"? Or a shit test?
    2. Was my delay to rule to contact J again too long? What is a good delay? A friend of me used to say "Act fast or the woman looses interest". However, I didn't want to re-contact too soon in order not to appear too needy.
    3. Nervousness
    4. I need to be leading more

  2. #2
    Bballking is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: first date experiences after meeting online

    Girls just seem to get some sort of sickness before meeting with you... haha jk. You are getting these women out dates, consider yourself proud! Online game is a bish. It is extremely deflating and can take hit after hit on your self esteem. It's true, it is a numbers game, but for as long as you push for that success, you push for those numbers in failure; it ain't easy. Keep doing what you're doing to get these girls on dates. There aren't going to be too many times that a woman is going to feel 100% comfortable meeting with you in person no matter how long you talked online. In fact, most girls I've been out with have told me they wanted to text and cancel but stuck with it.

    I've had major success on my last 5 first dates with girls online, full closing 3 of them on the first date, the other 2 before the 4th date. You should bring a high energy. You need to feel comfortable, when you begin to make yourself feel comfortable, they will feel comfortable too. Make them laugh, flirt, get to know them, and probably the best way to insure your date goes well, get em buzzed. The more they drink, the more they'll like you. You got a bit of a road ahead of you, but you are doing some things right at this moment. Keep pushing and things will start to come together for you.
    You don't need her

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    Tornado (03-16-2015)

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