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Thread: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting her

  1. #11
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Nobody answered your question because it's a very difficult question to answer.

    I don't ever question my girlfriends if they hang out with another guy. Why? Because I believe I'm the best guy they'll ever get. I also trust them otherwise I wouldn't be with them.

    The jealous boyfriend is the worst thing you can be. It will guarantee that she will cheat on you. I've seen the best, most honest women cheat on their boyfriends because their boyfriend was the jealous type. There's two types of women (broadly speaking). One type will cheat because that's just the person she is. The other type is actually loyal, but she doesn't have the balls to end a relationship when she becomes unhappy. Therefor she cheats because she's no longer attracted to the guy and she wants out. Most women fall into the second category.

    It's usually pretty easy to spot a girl in the first category if you have experience with them. Women in the second category could be anyone. I know women who never thought they would cheat, and nobody thought they would, yet they did because they were unhappy.

    In your situation you need to trust your girlfriend. You shouldn't be doubting her just yet. If you notice more things later then you can deal with it. If you bring it up now she will just get defensive and want to see the guy more.

    One thing about women that I learned from David X that works like a charm is this "If you tell a girl not to do something she will". Basically whatever you tell her, she will do the opposite. I did this with my last girlfriend all the time. I would tell her "You should hook up with so and so, he's cute". Every time I told her to go hook up with other guys she would become more and more faithful.

    This is why it's so hard to answer your question. On one hand you don't want to look like you're controlling and jealous, on the other hand you don't feel comfortable with your girlfriend hanging out with this guy. You should wait and see what happens. If you need to address it down the road honesty is always the best. "I'm not comfortable with you hanging out with this guy. I feel like you change when you're around him and I don't like that." You need to be direct and to the point but don't accuse her of anything. You'll also want to be stern but non-emotional. Hear her out and if you don't like what you hear walk away.

    The only thing you would do by bringing it up now is look like the jealous type and drive her into this guys arms even more.

  2. #12
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Basically the more general question is how do you express your dissatisfaction with her behavior but without being the upset baby.
    here's the real answer to your question.

    there is no good way to show your jealous insecurity without being the "upset baby"

    the way I see it, here are a few things you can do.

    1. trust her. this is what a true alpha would do, because deep down you know your value and you know you have more to offer than most guys.

    2. start hanging around other girls in a "friendly" manner. she will get jealous, she will start prodding you with all kinds of questions, and that's when you can drop a line like "well, you have friends of the opposite sex, its only fair" witch should shut her up.

    3. stop caring about whether she cheats on you or not. my favorite mindset is this "if she cheats on me, that just gives me a good excuse to make our relationship an open relationship" also, as long as she's still farking you regularly I don't see what you have to complain about.

    I'm sure people will have other opinions BUT, if you want to be a man about things, You tell her straight up that "you are not comfortable with some guy texting her all the time and if you find out anything went on between the two of them its over between the two of you because you dont have time for games" .... sometime being straightfoward is the best course of action
    imo this mindset works fine if you want to start a big fight with her. if she isn't actually cheating then you're screwed.
    I would much rather stay calm cool and collected and let things play out however they may.

    I assume you allow yourself to spend time with attractive females other than your girlfriend, I don't care if they are your or her ex's friends or not. So, she has a right to do the same. It's actually a good thing. Every time I spend time away from my girl with other people, I realize how good of a decision I made to date her and that increases both my and her value in my mind.
    this is the kind of mindset you need to have. I know its hard, but you can't allow yourself to give in to your jealousy and insecurity.

    over-reacting is never a good idea.

  3. #13
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    thank you guys. so during the day I was answering her messages in a pretty cold way. now she sent me a message and asked me if everything was okay. listening to your advice I didn't confront with her and said yes. now I feel like a fool.
    from now on that's it not fall into the same hole again. if it keeps happening I'll just tell her

  4. #14
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    why do you feel like a are supposed to be in control of your emotions or they will llead you down a path of dumbness.

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