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Thread: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting her

  1. #1
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting her

    Hey comrades :-),
    I have a girlfriend for few months.
    Yesterday I wanted to see her for a drink. She said she is meeting a male friend that is her old boyfriends friend. He keeps texting her all the time.
    I once saw him when I was with her he was with some girl. When around him she wouldn't even let me hug her and kept her distance from me. At the party I was with her that night I was all over her (in polite way) and she liked it

    Anyway, she said he will drop by to say hi and she is going home to rest cause she has hard few days of classes coming.

    Usually when her classes end late she always calls me on her way to her house.
    Yesterday, nothing. Silence.

    She called me (usually she texts) only this morning to say (left vm I couldnt pick up) that she is going to her classes.

    I dont believe in a guy spending his time "catching up" with a friend. Of course I dont have any idea what happened between them.
    Given the fact that she didnt call me is out of the ordinary in our relationship. How do you suggest I behave? So far I left her cold text. Wishing her good luck with the classes.

    Basically the more general question is how do you express your dissatisfaction with her behavior but without being the upset baby.

    Thanks.

  2. #2
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    That's something worth investigating...that isn't her basEline behavior so there is a possibility that your intuition is telling you something. I know my ex talked to her ex boyfriend when I wasn't around, they never did anything like meet up because that would be boundary I wouldn't like, but lets say those messages weren't exactly "friendly".

    What I would have done is made chummy chummy with this friend at that party. I would trust your girlfriend though, we don't want insecurity and doubt to creep into your system. I know it destroyed me and here I am back in the game.


    I wouldn't call her out on it or give this guy any more importance than necessary. At least not right now. I know that once I bitched about the ex my gf just kept doing it more. Remember to be willing to walk away if shit hits the fan, but this is just a precaution.

  3. #3
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Yes. But the question remains. How do you express your dissatisfaction with her behavior but without being the upset baby?

  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    I would say something is going on, why else do guys text girls all the time, why else do girls meet up with guys, why else do girls change their behavior. So the question is do you really want to be involved with a girl you have to keep an eye on and that you can’t trust ?!?!?!?!
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  5. #5
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    I understand. That is the decision I need to make.
    On the other hand SHE TOLD ME about meeting him. No one forced her.....
    But the main question still remains. How do you express your dissatisfaction with her behavior but without being the upset baby? I mean I have no proof of anything.

  6. #6
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    I'm sure people will have other opinions BUT, if you want to be a man about things, You tell her straight up that "you are not comfortable with some guy texting her all the time and if you find out anything went on between the two of them its over between the two of you because you dont have time for games" .... sometime being straightfoward is the best course of action
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Move on with another girl.If you want to salvage then there's another way but don't wait around.

  8. #8
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    Move on with another girl.If you want to salvage then there's another way but don't wait around.
    What way to salvage ? No one answered my question

  9. #9
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    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    I'm gonna disagree with my guys here.

    There's no reason to be alarmed. Don't be too faithless in girls, bros. Despite having a complicated mindset, they are, after all, humans. Not all girls are programmed to cheat or leave you. And even if that happens the first assumption we'll make that it's our fault and we try to better ourselves before blaming her or somebody else. That's the healthy process.

    Regarding your question, be honest. I know it's easy to say. But I can tell you some basic rules about how to interpret your frustration with minimal casualties on your end. There's no need to criticize her. That will only get her into defense. And there's absolutely no reason to be needy.

    I assume you allow yourself to spend time with attractive females other than your girlfriend, I don't care if they are your or her ex's friends or not. So, she has a right to do the same. It's actually a good thing. Every time I spend time away from my girl with other people, I realize how good of a decision I made to date her and that increases both my and her value in my mind.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  10. #10
    qwerty53 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How should I behave? Girlfriend met with her male friend that's texting

    Thanks for your replies guys but no one answered my question yet


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