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  • 1 Post By drgnsfire12

Thread: Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

  1. #1
    Natino is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

    Morning guys,

    Wondering if anyone might have any words of wisdom for me?

    One caveat. I realise I shouldn't get caught up over one girl. But I feel like I'm too close to quit.

    The story is this. We work together. She started at my work over a year ago and it didn't take long to build a bit of attraction and hook up a couple times.

    Anyway, she started dating another guy. They met on some holiday tour and my understanding is that afterwards he badgered her into being his gf, even though he lives in a different city (i.e. they've been in a long distance relationship the whole time - they've never actually lived in the same city). No idea what the dynamic is like between them but he's clearly quite the beta. This I know from a facebook message he sent me asking me to "respect their relationship" - that after starting the message by asking me how I was with a smiley face!

    So despite all this we've still hooked up 2 or 3 times since they started dating. A couple weeks ago being the most recent time. Following that we escalated and more or less acted like bf/gf whenever around each other. You know, cuddling, occasionally holding hands, hand on leg etc. She confessed that she "loves" me when she was drunk but that she "loves" the bf as well. And for those 2 weeks I was even able to get a kiss on demand out of her if I pestered her enough (with her being reluctant to do so as it's cheating).

    But then she became weird all of a sudden. Yesterday she tells me that she broke the news of me and her to the bf (says she felt guilty). Exactly how much she told him I don't know. But they've been arguing and have apparently decided the best thing to do for the time being is to cut me and her back down to the most basic of friends.

    My reaction yesterday was to agree to that for a few days strictly on the basis that she's in a tough spot for the time being. But I made it clear it's very much temporary and I want updates on the situation.

    Anyway the sense I get is that for whatever reason she wants to continue with her bf, despite it being a long distance relationship and despite him clearly having very little going for him from what I can tell. Them breaking up over us is not out of the question, but I want to do whatever I can right now while the iron's hot.

    For now, I'm thinking the best approach might be to continue with the touching and flirting from my end as per last week. And if she puts up a fight to advise her in as calm and as masculine a manner as I can to let this thing with the bf go and allow us to do all the things we both want to do together. Not sure if this is the best idea though.

    Things I have at my disposal:
    -we work right next to each other and spend 8+ hours a day in each other's company
    -we also catch the train together and occasionally grab coffee before work
    -he sent me a fb msg asking me to back off a few weeks back which I never replied to but could potentially use to rattle the cage
    -he also gets the shits when I post on her fb wall, leading to them fighting

    Would be very interested to hear what you guys think!

    Really appreciate your thoughts,
    Natino

  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

    Long distance relationships rarely work out and this guy sounds like a real mope ...... forget the boyfriend and go after her, make her realize you're the guy she wants to be with so go ahead and grab coffee with her, flirt with her at work, and post on her FBI wall ...... be the confident, fun, alpha guy and you'll get her
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  3. #3
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    Blackbird is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

    She sounds like the kind of girl who's never single. She wants to go from one relationship straight into another. I don't have a lot of respect for girls like this, it shows some personality flaws. However, it is what it is. Expect a whirlwind of crap and emotion if you push through and pursue her. But with all that said, it's also good to be able to recognize girls like this and to understand the dynamic.

    I have all the respect in the world for people who are in real relationships, but you also have to recognize that 90% of relationships are bullshit. Questions I like to ask include: So are you living together? (Do you even have plans to move into the same city as one another?) When's the wedding? Have you talked about getting engaged? Have you two talked about how you're going to work out the whole distance thing? etc etc. Basically, you want to figure out if there is a solid plan in place to make it work, or if it's just some facebook make believe relationship. The latter is worthy of busting through, IMO.

    There's this one really pretty girl that I work with. We sort of were feeling each other out for awhile. She now has a bf. They are talking about buying a house together. And her car is in a million pieces in his garage right now as he fixes the engine. Alright. The end. That's good enough for me to back off. It sounds legit.

    Compare that to a girl who has a long distance FB boyfriend who she doesn't have any plans to move in with or even be in the same city with. The difference there is pretty clear.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  4. #4
    Natino is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

    Cheers for the responses guys. Agree 100%. Be the alpha, be confident, be calm and most importantly disregard the bf and anything she says about staying with him.

  5. #5
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Could use some advice! How to finally break them up

    Blackbird is 100% correct ...... I always worry about girls that have to constantly be in a relationship because eventually, usually by their mid thirties, morphs into, "I have to be married" ..... and that for me is a Red Flag
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet


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