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Thread: Confused. Any basic advice?

  1. #1
    hl222 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Unhappy Confused. Any basic advice?

    Hi, I'm new to this forum.. was wondering if I could get some advice.

    Recently my gf (8 months together or so and on the younger side) and I got into an argument and we ended up saying some nasty things to each other. A few days ago, I was caught off guard as she wanted to meet in person and basically started crying and wanted to "downgrade" our relationship to just "dating." A few hours later, she was acting happy again, and I thought things were okay... I though maybe it was just a big argument.

    However, when I drove home from her place late at night, I was surprised to notice that she unfriended me and blocked me from several sites like Facebook. When I saw this I interpreted this as being dumped and frankly, somewhat surprised. She also sent me a text message with a question after I got home, but I didn't respond yet after finding out she unfriended me. It's been 3 days with no contact.

    I'm considering to continue the no-contact strategy but not sure how long though. Any thoughts? Am I overthinking this?


  2. #2
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    So why do you want to be with this girl ??????????
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    You need to make a choice.....
    So i am going to say this to you,

    Be honest to your self! If you aren't honest to your self.... Your aren't honest to her and to others in your direct surroundings.... But most important is that you lie to yourself.

    So the question is What Do YOU want?

    Stay natural,
    Gotcha
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    - Bryan Tracy
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  4. #4
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    eh, relationship management isn't my forte, but I'd wait to see what others recommend. My word of advice is to keep your distance for now, acting now might make the problem worse. I know from experience that the hole could be dug alot deeper so chill out. You guys could probably talk it out later.

  5. #5
    hl222 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Assertive View Post
    eh, relationship management isn't my forte, but I'd wait to see what others recommend. My word of advice is to keep your distance for now, acting now might make the problem worse. I know from experience that the hole could be dug alot deeper so chill out. You guys could probably talk it out later.
    Update:

    So I ended up deciding to soft next and called her...She picked up the phone pretty quickly and we ended up talking for a bit. Later, she ended up texting me back to inform me that this is the only line left to contact her with (she unfriended me etc... from all other sites). How should I proceed? e.g. Reply in several days? Another soft next?

  6. #6
    RenaissanceManinNJ is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    Take my advice with a grain of salt, since it's been a while since I've had to deal with those type of mind games.

    But I'm thinking she cut you off from the other sites because she doesn't want you monitoring her activities, i.e. she wants to try dating other people while dating you and doesn't want it to spoil your current relationship.

    So do you want to be exclusive to her or do you want to date others too?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by RenaissanceManinNJ View Post
    Take my advice with a grain of salt, since it's been a while since I've had to deal with those type of mind games.

    But I'm thinking she cut you off from the other sites because she doesn't want you monitoring her activities, i.e. she wants to try dating other people while dating you and doesn't want it to spoil your current relationship.

    So do you want to be exclusive to her or do you want to date others too?
    Yup. Consider yourself "soft broken up". She's obviously doing things she doesn't want you to know about. Nothing wrong with that. It's just a super passive break up, really. So get on your game, move on, but if you want to be with her, keep her number on speed dial because all is not lost. But don't expect that you'll keep her interest being the same guy you've always been. You need to take the opportunity to better yourself and be a better man for her. Face it, if you were that guy already, you wouldn't be going through this mess. Take the hint, man up, and seize this opportunity to let her see what you're really capable of.
    Hypnotist, NLP geek. I've done: Tao of Badass, Hacking Attraction, How To Date Multiple Women (Pellicer's stuff), Get the Girl, How to Talk to Hot Women, No Strings Attached (Mehow's stuff), and now I'm getting into RSD's stuff. I don't go out a lot, but I kill it when challenged

  8. #8
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    WHY do you want to be with a girl who is going to dictate to you how your relationship will proceed ...... this is the only line left to contact her with ???? F*CK THAT SHIT ........... get out there, meet some new girls and dump this drama
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  9. #9
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    Yeah .... it's time to move on and forget the head games

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Confused. Any basic advice?

    Other guys already stated this but it's so obvious it needs to be stated again. She is communicating with other guys and she doesn't want you to know. This is the only reason why she would do what she did.

    In my opinion she's holding on to you until she finds "someone" better. Once she does she will completely end contact with you. Women do this all the time, especially younger immature women. If I was in your shoes I would completely ignore her. Don't contact her and don't respond to her. This is how you regain power in the relationship. Walk away.

    Later, she will contact you again. Then you can respond. When I say later I mean a minimum of a month. It could be multiple months or a year even, but she will contact you again. When she does engage her, set something up, and sleep with her. Then if she starts to bring up relationship talk you shoot her down. She messed up, you don't want her anymore. She very well could chase you for a long time, and when women who have done this to me chase me, I truly enjoy it.

    It might sound scary to walk away but it's the only way you can regain your dignity. Plus 90% of the women I've waked away from come back. It's always nice to get some play from these women when they DO come back.


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