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  • 1 Post By lenric

Thread: She just wants friendship.

  1. #1
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default She just wants friendship.

    So, I've been talking to this girl. I've let my feelings be known to her. I've been real with her and I've told her that I am into her and that I'm not looking for friendship. She so far has opened up to me. She hasn't told me no or to go away or to stop talking to her even though I've told her that she can tell me to stop at any moment. It seems like we have a healthy back and forth going on through text. I know I must built attraction for this. Attraction isn't necessarily born on the spot. She's told me that she has issues with dating and commitments because she's hunged up on some dude she knew for three years and broke her heart. So she prefers to just be friends with dudes. She said she has a lot of guy friends and just wants to f around now though not literally.

    This is was her last text: "Hey um well I kinda just want to have friends I'm around guys all the time it's my thing And srry but I don't want anything but chill friendships just being blunt."

    i I still haven't written back. I'm thinking I can give her a response or throw her off track and switch the subject to something else something fun that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

    These are are just some things I'm thinking about writing but still haven't:
    "you know what, you're right. We should probably just be friends. I'll probably mess it up like the asshole that I am and I'll end up breaking your heart too."

    "Don't be sorry. I told you already that I get it. But just know that I'm not going to be treating you like a friend because I am into you. I'm not going to pressure I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not going to break your heart. I'm simply going to continue flirting with you and make you smile and laugh until you realize I'm better than just being your friend."

    "Do you like burritos?"

    Help a brother out guys

  2. #2
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    I just thought of this to maybe write: "I know what you want. You've been very honest and clear with me and I truly appreciate that. But you need to know, if you'll allow it, that I'm not going to treat you like a friend. I'm going to flirt with you, I'm going to make you smile and laugh, I'm going to make myself look like a fool if I have to, I'm gonna take long drives with you listening to good music, I'm gonna call you at random hours just to share something funny with you." That's all I got so far. Is this too much? I don't know what to do

  3. #3
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    Okay, I've thought it it through and I think I'm going with this: "You know who you sound like? Like this hippie chick I once met at 3 Points who told me, "I'm not yours, his, or him. I'm everyone's." Though I did think she was a little crazy, I respect and agree with her. This notion of being tied down to someone is so.....arghh. It feels wrong. My bones shake just thinking about it. Yuck lol the other days I saw this wedding dress and it scared the shit out of me. It yelled out "I want you, Alex!!" I was like no bitch leave me alone!! I have no problem that you're around other guys. I'm not about that machismo bullshit. Just like I hope you'll have no problem that I'm around a lot of girls. For real though, why do I get the feeling you're a 'not by words but by deeds' type of chick? Lol"

    thoughts???

  4. #4
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    It sucks. Everything.

    She doesn't feel attracted to you, nothing else you could do, especially after telling her you like her. It's a big no no.
    Now that you fucked up, don't keep fucking up.

    "But our brotherhood isn't going to be like Karev and Grey's brotherhood, where she kicks his girlfriend out of their bed just to talk to him! " (Grey's Anatomy)

  5. #5
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    She doesn't feel attracted to me because I haven't laid any ground work yet. Attraction isn't always born. It's developed through a series of process. I do think there is curiosity.


    Update:

    her: Hey um well I kinda just want to have friends I'm around guys all the time it's my thing And srry but I don't want anything but chill friendships just being blunt

    me: So what you're saying is, you want me to be your friend? You don't mind if I'm a little.........
    strange? Lmao
    You know you've got this sort of hard headed stubbornness to you. I kind of like it lol I bet you've butted head with some crazy ass bitches before lol what sign are you?

    Her: I am stubborn as fuck
    I'm a Taurus the queen of being hard headed and stubborn
    Yeah I'll be ur friend
    Just not beyond that cuz like I don't want dates and stuff or bf's just friends

    me: Oh sweet baby Jesus, smh. I'm a Sagittarius, I'm part of an elite club filled with stubborn, hard headed, knowledge seekers, very intriguing, extremely flirtatious, sometimes troubled, no bullshiters, and many more awesome things men. Hoffman, Hendrix, Sinatra, Churchill, Morrison, Richards, hell even Beethoven lol
    Yeah, I think it's probably best we're just friends. Our stubbornness will end up getting in the way and we'll fight for just about everything, which of course I'd win every time lol. Probably won't be able to handle it, all those horns on the bull is just for show sometimes hahaha

    her:Haha ok....lol
    that was very in depth
    I'm troubled because I have a shitty ass past and bottom line like I said I hang out with to many guys I'm not trustworthy
    I've broken many hearts
    That's why I stay friends with most guys I meet
    Horoscopes are bullshit sometimes in my opinion haha I don't judge ppl by that

  6. #6
    lenric's Avatar
    lenric is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    Attraction isn't developed over time. Attraction is curiosity and it is developed in the first stage of getting to know her. It doesn't require 3 years to develop attraction. It should only take 5 minutes, if that long. Because attraction is sparked by confident behavior, which is precisely what you're lacking.

    Telling a girl you like her and expecting that she magically develops an attraction for you isn't logical or right. It's just plain wrong, one of the biggest mistakes you could do, because now she owns your relationship.

    She rejected you 3 times. But keep going, you'll learn from your mistakes.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to lenric For This Useful Post:

    AlexandreUU (05-02-2015)

  8. #7
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    First off, I appreciate what you're telling me. This is a learning process and I truly am thankful. Second, I'm not expecting her to magically like me too. I understand that's not logical and not right. I truly get that. But what's wrong with being direct and telling her that I find her attractive and that I'm into her? Why should I keep that hidden? Can't I tell her that I think she's sexy and still flirt, and project a positive fun attitude?

  9. #8
    AlexandreUU is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    @lenric

    dude, never mind. I finally solved the whole problem. You were wrong and so was I. It was nothing neither of us thought it was. It's all good. Your applications are the smart move and are what should be used. But it turned out that this situation I'm currently in requires non of those methods. She likes me. I already got confirmation of that. It was just different than what I'm use to experiencing. Believe me dude, it wouldn't have worked. Truly thanks though. Please if I ask something again in the future take some time to read it and answer. I really appreciate your way of analyzing things

  10. #9
    soundwavienk777 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She just wants friendship.

    it's over you talked too much duh


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