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  • 1 Post By Mr. Assertive
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Thread: Can't get dates please help.

  1. #1
    wikiwally is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Can't get dates please help.

    Hey all, Im a rookie. Been studying seduction for a while.

    I have no problems getting numbers at bars, clubs, online, daytime etc.

    But I can't get dates to save my life!

    Ive been on 2 dates(embarrased to say what time period)

    My style is direct, with flirting and being sexual,then the usual chit chat, even when the conversation goes well, like them making statements; I almost always get flakes.

    most times they respond to my texts, but never pick up the phone.

    Ive started to dress better and workout.

    Is it attraction? Is it trust/comfort.

    Please share your thoughts.

  2. #2
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    It could be many factors. Some that may be out of your control. Assume the latter. Improve, and improve some more. You might need to get your inner game issues checked as well, as any person can learn what to do, but ultimately, your behavior still stem from your beliefs.

    Ask yourself this. What are your goals? Are these goals made to impress society or PUA? or are they strictly for you?

    What kind of woman do you want? Write down how she is like, how she acts, what values or qualities she has. This will make attraction and qualification easy. Comfort after that will be a sinch.

    Then ask yourself what kind of guy would you want to be ? How would you want to dress, how would you act in certain situations, how would you talk, walk, etc.

    If you answer or do those exercises, expect a little lightbulb turn on. At least I hope so.

    Mr. A

  3. #3
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    Flakes occur when you haven't gotten the girl to emotionally ready to want to meet with you. You stated that you are a rookie early on. Just because you get a number does not mean you are guaranteed a date. You have chance at a date. Don't trick yourself into think you are further along than you really are with a woman, because things can turn off just like that. Texting should be a continued interaction from where you picked the girl up. Focusing on getting her number and solely her number will be detrimental to your game.

    Texting should be a tool to throw in attraction, qualification and some comfort if you didn't get enough in person. Just remember to be dominant and not needy in your text interactions. A girl also needs to be reassured she isn't wasting her time. She doesn't want to meet up with some creepy/boring dude, so make sure you did a good job in person and don't overdo things in text.

    If not you have your work cut out for you in texts.

  4. #4
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    most times they respond to my texts, but never pick up the phone.
    this should be expected by now. its 2015, phone calls are mostly reserved for scheduling appointments, not dates.

    Please share your thoughts.
    my recommendation is to push for "insta-dates" rather than phone numbers.

    examples:

    if you're at the mall and you meet a girl who is casually shopping, you could take her to the food court for a bite to eat.

    if you're at a bar, you could take her to a booth or quiet area to bullshit and knock out some of comfort stage.

    the basic idea here is to make your initial interactions with women longer lasting. this improves your odds of follow up interactions with her.

    Comfort after that will be a sinch.
    ah, imo comfort is the most important part of game. the main reason for this is because it is used to build momentum towards sex; more specifically, compliance. (ultimately sex is just another compliance test after all)

    i would argue that leading the girl and building a deep compliance threshold is the single skill most needed to succeed. many guys only get "friend zoned" because they fail to be assertive and keep momentum.

    My style is direct, with flirting and being sexual,then the usual chit chat, even when the conversation goes well,
    with that style of approach, i would recommend waiting to get the number until after you get the first kiss. (or until after you've taken her home)

    when being direct and ballsy, you can use what is referred to as a compliance train.

    example:

    -approach
    -get her invested in conversation
    -go direct
    - insta-date nearby
    - build comfort while turning up the heat
    -build sexual tension
    -kiss
    -pull away and suggest second insta date (possibly to a seduction location) (or end the date shortly after the kiss and get her number)
    -continue to build more comfort and sexual tension until you reach the desired outcome.

    basically pack your chain of events leading up to seduction together and cut out the redundant steps. leaving out the "time bridges" will keep you from having to rely so heavily on "text game", and it will take some of the pressure off of "asking her out" (just know that you aren't "actually" dating her until after you both agree to be mutually exclusive. this usually occurs after a month or two of "seeing each other" )

  5. #5
    wikiwally is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    this should be expected by now. its 2015, phone calls are mostly reserved for scheduling appointments, not dates.



    my recommendation is to push for "insta-dates" rather than phone numbers.

    examples:

    if you're at the mall and you meet a girl who is casually shopping, you could take her to the food court for a bite to eat.

    if you're at a bar, you could take her to a booth or quiet area to bullshit and knock out some of comfort stage.

    the basic idea here is to make your initial interactions with women longer lasting. this improves your odds of follow up interactions with her.



    ah, imo comfort is the most important part of game. the main reason for this is because it is used to build momentum towards sex; more specifically, compliance. (ultimately sex is just another compliance test after all)

    i would argue that leading the girl and building a deep compliance threshold is the single skill most needed to succeed. many guys only get "friend zoned" because they fail to be assertive and keep momentum.



    with that style of approach, i would recommend waiting to get the number until after you get the first kiss. (or until after you've taken her home)

    when being direct and ballsy, you can use what is referred to as a compliance train.

    example:

    -approach
    -get her invested in conversation
    -go direct
    - insta-date nearby
    - build comfort while turning up the heat
    -build sexual tension
    -kiss
    -pull away and suggest second insta date (possibly to a seduction location) (or end the date shortly after the kiss and get her number)
    -continue to build more comfort and sexual tension until you reach the desired outcome.

    basically pack your chain of events leading up to seduction together and cut out the redundant steps. leaving out the "time bridges" will keep you from having to rely so heavily on "text game", and it will take some of the pressure off of "asking her out" (just know that you aren't "actually" dating her until after you both agree to be mutually exclusive. this usually occurs after a month or two of "seeing each other" )

    Thank you. Now what if I approach a girl during the day?

    Am I suppose to kiss her before the number also?

  6. #6
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    Thank you. Now what if I approach a girl during the day?

    Am I suppose to kiss her before the number also?
    yes, but use an insta-date before you go for the kiss.

    it is true that you won't always get the kiss, and that's ok, its your goal. its not the end of the world if you don't get a kiss before her number. though at least spend a whole hour with her before you settle for just a number close. (of course sometimes time constraints may force you to get the number before then) (use your judgment to know how far to take each interaction)

    just always remember, the farther you progress with a girl before getting her number, the more likely she'll want to meet up later on. (there are exceptions to this rule, witch very widely depending on the girl you're dealing with)

  7. #7
    wikiwally is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Can't get dates please help.

    Thank you very useful information! Going to give it a shot.

    Its funny, the girls I talk to longer(20 plus minutes) or even know as friends, respond to my calls and meet up with me in my bedroom; even though they dont want to lay me.


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