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  1. #1
    Sidewinder is offline PUA in Training
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    Default First Date idea why!!

    Ok so I am still have some major issue's with hooking on first dates.

    Definitely feeling as though my game is improving and I am having really good success at meeting girls online, my text game is getting tight and my phone game seems to be working well.

    Basically I will normally chat to a girl online being flirty cocky/funny for a while until I get her number move to texting and remove the "guy from a dating site" label - some girls take a little more work than others.

    So I then continue texting for a while getting a good vibe going and then I try to get them on the phone for 30mins - 45mins after a few days or a week (I often bust them on how their voice is gonna sound really deep or their accent etc) I seem to be able to nail the phone conversation and build comfort and attraction (i often get a text after the call saying - "it was really nice to talk to you")

    By this time they are totally ready for a meet up - so I will normally arrange to meet for a drink somewhere one evening and on the build up to the "date" the vibing via text is still going strong.

    So basically I feel like I am on the green light - job done!

    But then this is where I am consistently hitting a MAJOR sticking point - the first date.

    But I cannot figure out what the hell I am doing to turn a solid green light down to a yellow, a red and even a big fat STOP sign!!

    I am a good conversationalist - I can pretty much vibe with anyone even those with very introvert and difficult personalities. I feel as if my conversation is interesting, fun and I am not afraid to bust her balls and make her laugh.

    I'm pretty much a fun, confident, down to earth easy going kind of guy and the way I act is completely congruent with that. I am a good guy, not a kiss arse nice guy who girls can walk all over, I NEVER supplicate to anyone and I value my own status and time extremely highly, but I am certainly not an arsehole.

    So I really cannot see that it is my personality and I don't think it's a physical thing - I'm 5ft 10 I've been told my women that I am good looking and I am getting attention on dating sites where girls can see my pictures - I am not the most physically imposing person I am quite thin not muscular but not fat.

    The only things I can think of that might be damaging to me are possibly that I maybe talk way too much......not in a nervous way but I am just very confident when talking and I can often relate to things that people say and I have a naturally inquisitive personality so I will ask questions based on what the other person is talking about and then share my experiences -

    in a nutshell I am pretty good and talking about shit.....random stuff.....rarely are there awkward silences on the dates that I go on......but I am not sure whether this is something I should try to tone down or not........but then to tone it down would be totally in congruent for me......I am not sure if by doing this I am telegraphing too much interest because I talk alot.......but then again a guy that doesn't talk isn't fun or interesting......... ..I admit I don't like the conversation to stop and I will normally latch onto to something else to start up the conversation........ this what's killing it?......should I just sit back, shut up and let her start talking when a conversation ends rather than me 90% of the time re-initiating?

    I am also not that great an initiating Kino......I will do things like touch their knee lightly or their arm or high five them, play thumbwar grab their hands and look at their nails, compare hand sizes ......but I very very rarely go that step further and go for the Kiss........

    I have been thinking about this quite a lot recently and it's starting to piss me off that I seem to be missing out on these great opportunities and blowing it without really knowing what the hell I am doing wrong.

    I don't really think I need a step by step plan or script just some major must do's or bullet points/goals to try and hit on each date and was wondering if anyone could clarify whether the below are what I should be aiming for or add any others points that are critical to kill the first date everytime:

    1) Have a vibing conversation peppered with teasing & cocky funny to keep the interaction fun, playful and not formal or like an interview. Interact like you've know each other for years

    2) Fun and playful ways to initiate kino - or touching her arm/hands/knee whilst conversating

    3) go for the kiss / or at least try to seed in a second date opportunity

    Cheers fellas - so much info out there on how to meet women but there isn't a lot of solid help on what to do on first dates and how to's a sticking point I am trying to bust through but I need to recognise my mistakes first and I am struggling to do that........If i was a girl I'd date me so I have no idea why the fuck these girls won't!!

    any feedback would be awesome

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: First Date idea why!!

    Sounds like you're building too much rapport (Talking about LOTS of stuff) & definitely being too nervous / afraid to touch.
    Slow the pace down, but keep the tension & energy high.

    Use more BODY LANGUAGE & less VERBAL.
    Incorporate a little more mysteriousness, & not so much spilling your guts about everything. ;o)

    TOUCH!! LOTS!!

    But the "convos" should be less about actual in-depth details at first, & more light banter.
    I would also maybe dial back the cocky a bit more & just go for the fun vibe.

    Use eye contact...
    And go for the kiss!!!

    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Tetembay is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: First Date idea why!!

    I have this sticking point from time to time. I want to kiss the girl but it's like there is a wall stopping me. Here is what I usually do.

    I think of the way I will feel if I don't MAN UP and go the the kiss.

    I imagine the girl leaving at the end of the night DISSAPOINTED that I wasn't man enough to go for the kiss. I feel that disappointment as much as I can, then I imagine how I have felt in the past when I went for the kiss and haven't gotten it...I feel like a boss. Yes! I was man enough to at least try! Then I think of how it will feel if she does kiss me. How amazing that will feel (this should make her feel amazing as well through the law of state transfer) and then I pull her in, look her dead in the eyes, and I kiss her.

    Remember that if you go for the kiss and she shuts you down, but it doesn't effect your state then that is a demonstration of higher value. I almost want her to not kiss me so I can show her that I don't need her validation to feel good.

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