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Thread: People don't respect me

  1. #11
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    dude, this is you caring too much and not being coy. have you read the posts that we wrote !!!
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  2. #12
    Adam12 is offline Experienced PUA
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Meteora, while I agree that we shouldn't have to pay for everything, you don't have to treat women like dirt. Being a man means you take care of your woman too. My women offer to pay but I pay for everything just because chivalry is not dead. Also I would never be such a dick and tell anone that they would have to wash dishes to pay for a meal.. .I have even spotted dudes from time to time when they were running low on cash. It's just a honorable thing to do. Being nice and showing you care is not the same as being a sucker.

  3. #13
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Quote Originally Posted by aolox View Post
    Another thing I've noticed is that people sometimes don't listen to me when I'm talking, especially if they are busy with something else. In fact, that is a common trait, they ignore certain aspects of the environment in favor of others.
    I'm not like that, I notice absolutely everything around me and I can react to it. However, I'm not sure that this is a good thing or that is perceived well. Maybe not being aware of everything is perceived as more secure and confident.
    Can someone recommend me a good reading material on all of this ?
    To stop this you've got to speak louder not shouting but make sure your voice is loud no one ignores the loudest but you should only use it when needed
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  4. #14
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Another thing I've noticed is that people sometimes don't listen to me when I'm talking, especially if they are busy with something else. In fact, that is a common trait, they ignore certain aspects of the environment in favor of others.
    I'm not like that, I notice absolutely everything around me and I can react to it. However, I'm not sure that this is a good thing or that is perceived well. Maybe not being aware of everything is perceived as more secure and confident.
    Can someone recommend me a good reading material on all of this ?
    if they don't listen to you, it means:

    A: you failed to catch their attention when you started talking
    B: you aren't speaking up. use your diaphragm when you talk.
    c: you need to talk slowly and deliberately while maintaining eye contact.

    However, I'm not sure that this is a good thing or that is perceived well. Maybe not being aware of everything is perceived as more secure and confident.
    being aware of everything is just plain paranoid. paranoia is the exact opposite of security. women want a man who is secure in every way possible.

    you don't have to treat women like dirt.
    just because I don't give out handouts doesn't mean I treat women badly. I value a woman who can provide for herself, and thus I test every woman I date to see if they will provide for themselves or beg me for money. women who beg me to pay for them get dumped fairly quickly. I work too hard for my money to give it out to people I barely know.

    there are plenty of better ways to be generous. I give up my free time to make them feel good, that alone is worth plenty.

    I don't treat a woman differently just because she's going out for food with me. I wouldn't pay 50 dollars for a stranger to eat with me. so why should I pay 50 dollars for some girl I met not too long ago?

    I even had one girl bring her best friend with her on a date with me, they expected me to pay for everything and gave me some whore logic about how the man should have to pay for everything. I knew they could afford it, hell they showed up in a Mercedes. so you know what I did? I got up to "take a piss", found our waitress, had her split the bill, I paid for my food and left. I sure as hell wasn't going to front 100 dollars so they could have seafood and wine. especially when my part of the bill only cost 25 dollars.


    [QUOTE][My women offer to pay but I pay for everything just because chivalry is not dead./QUOTE]

    hahaha, do you even know what the "code of chivalry" says?

    here's the oaths of knight hood.

    To fear God and maintain His ChurchTo serve the liege lord in valour and faith
    To protect the weak and defenceless
    To give succour to widows and orphans
    To refrain from the wanton giving of offence
    To live by honour and for glory
    To despise pecuniary reward
    To fight for the welfare of all
    To obey those placed in authority
    To guard the honour of fellow knights
    To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit
    To keep faith
    At all times to speak the truth
    To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun
    To respect the honour of women
    Never to refuse a challenge from an equal
    Never to turn the back upon a foe

    I want you to notice 2 in particular here. "to respect the honor of women" (witch I would interpret as "respect when she says no" and "marry before you have sex" ) and to "eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit".

    now picture this, if a woman goes to dinner with you, and coincidentally forgot her wallet and wants you to pay for everything, is she being fair to you? hell no, she's being deceitful and unfair. thus it would be chivalrous to "eschew" such behavior.




    its ok to be chivalrous, just have some self respect.

  5. #15
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Hey OP,

    You have no problem except that you think people will respect you if you be a good person. But unfortunately it is not the case especially in the Anglo Saxon countries such as America and Australia. People nowadays respect based on "status" and not knowledge or intellect. Knowledge, skills and intellect may make people respect you if they help you gain status. For example if you become a uni professor who makes loads of money, or you go to the space! Other than that people just think you are a nerd. That's it!

    Here is how you can turn things around. As of now, do not do any favor for anyone unless they ask for it. Even then, think of yourself that if you have a good reason to help them. If they have done favors to you before then go for it otherwise just say "Sorry" and use your time on something better. When you are in a room with some other people do not say hello first. Let them do it! And if you want something just go get it and do not let other people go for it because you think it's polite! And if someone is talking to you give them 2 minutes, then say good bye and leave. This applies to hottest chicks in the world too! The less you become available to people the more they will respect you.

  6. #16
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Hey OP,

    You have no problem except that you think people will respect you if you be a good person. But unfortunately it is not the case especially in the Anglo Saxon countries such as America and Australia. People nowadays respect based on "status" and not knowledge or intellect. Knowledge, skills and intellect may make people respect you if they help you gain status. For example if you become a uni professor who makes loads of money, or you go to the space! Other than that people just think you are a nerd. That's it!

    Here is how you can turn things around. As of now, do not do any favor for anyone unless they ask for it. Even then, think of yourself that if you have a good reason to help them. If they have done favors to you before then go for it otherwise just say "Sorry" and use your time on something better. When you are in a room with some other people do not say hello first. Let them do it! And if you want something just go get it and do not let other people go for it because you think it's polite! And if someone is talking to you give them 2 minutes, then say good bye and leave. This applies to hottest chicks in the world too! The less you become available to people the more they will respect you.

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  8. #17
    aolox is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Yeah I generally try to be a good person and people just walk over me. I've been trying to become more socially aware and I've been noticing the lack of respect.
    I'm wondering if I should reduce contact with my current friends because they obviously don't respect me much and they feel ok to make fun at me for stupid things.
    If I think about it, maybe my last girlfriend was able to sense that and I lost a lot of value to her.

  9. #18
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    you should read the book No More Mr. Nice guy. That might help you in the long run. I don't think you are grasping what these guys are trying to explain to you. Google the book as it will come out in PDF format for free. I have read that and that has helped me a little on my path to become an assertive person.

  10. #19
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Quote Originally Posted by aolox View Post
    Yeah I generally try to be a good person and people just walk over me. I've been trying to become more socially aware and I've been noticing the lack of respect.
    I'm wondering if I should reduce contact with my current friends because they obviously don't respect me much and they feel ok to make fun at me for stupid things.
    If I think about it, maybe my last girlfriend was able to sense that and I lost a lot of value to her.

    You are a clever guy and you have already figured out what to do. Social interaction is just like doing business with people. Respect, compliments, favors, etc are value. When you give value to someone they must give the same amount of value back to you. Just like when a business gives a product or service to someone they ask for the value of it. Social value is like money that we have in our pocket. If you give it away without getting it from other people you will get broke.

    As you said begin not contacting those so-called friends. If they contact you in future and ask you "Where are you?!" or "What are you up to?" just say you are having fun with some new friends. If they want a favor say that you have plans. Make sure you use the word "Plans" and do not say what you actually want to do. Read about DHV and make sure everytime you speak to someone especially to women you always DHV and not DLV. e.g. if you are at home and someone asks you what you are up to just say you are playing golf ;-)

    Another thing is that some people may disrespect you before they even get to know you based on three things:

    1- Your look. Do you exercise? Are you fit? Do you wear cloths which look good on you? I mean do not wear baggy XXL size T-shirts, or red big baggy shirts like many Americans wear! Lose weight and get fit then wear slim-fit shirts and jeans with dark colors! If you want tips about losing weight I can give you some.

    2- Your posture and body language. You have to always stand fully upright. When you walk chin up and and look forward. If you find it hard then do some posture exercises at home. You can find them on the internet. Read a book about body language. You will see a massive difference in how people respect you by tweaking your body language.

    3- Tonality. I have not heard your voice but try to speak 2-3 times louder than normal so that everyone in the room hears you. Release the voice from your diaphragm not from your throat or your mouth. And speak slowly because fast speech conveys nervousness. While you speak use hand gestures and also express yourself with changing the rhythm and tonality of your voice.

    I would say forget about girls for a month and just focus on fixing these three things then you will see that chicks will queue up to suck your balls haha

  11. #20
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam12 View Post
    Meteora, while I agree that we shouldn't have to pay for everything, you don't have to treat women like dirt. Being a man means you take care of your woman too. My women offer to pay but I pay for everything just because chivalry is not dead. Also I would never be such a dick and tell anone that they would have to wash dishes to pay for a meal.. .I have even spotted dudes from time to time when they were running low on cash. It's just a honorable thing to do. Being nice and showing you care is not the same as being a sucker.
    Caring for women has nothing to do with "paying" for them. The whole societal thing that has males paying for women is essentially prostitution. If you had no sexual interest in a woman would you always pay for her? Hell no. So you indirectly expect something...don't you? That's no different then prostitution.

    I don't pay for a woman most of the time because I don't believe in "paying for her time". That's essentially what you're doing when society tells you that you have to pay when on a date. It implies that you, as the man, are not as valuable as her so you have to pay for her time. It's bullshit.

    I've had PLENTY of girlfriends and I never buy them gifts that cost more then 30 bucks...even when I've been with them for over a year! I also rarely pay for them. We either go dutch or I'll pay this time and they pay next time. You know what they tell me? "Direct you're so different from my other boyfriends. They bought me jewelry or this and that". I tell them "Yea I'm never buying you any of that stuff" and they say "I know but you give me so much more. Those other guys just tried to buy my love".

    See! Dating women has nothing to do with money, and paying for them all the time is disrespectful for yourself. Time is the most important thing you can give them, and what they enjoy the most. That's how you care for a woman.


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