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Thread: People don't respect me

  1. #1
    aolox is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default People don't respect me

    This is more of a general question but applies to seduction too.
    I'm a positive person, I don't hate anyone, I try to help when people ask me. I'm a bit more intellectual than most people, and I like to acquire new information about things. I don't try to impose this knowledge to other people because I've learned that they get annoyed by it.
    I'm very competent at everything I do, if I do something I do it perfectly, including favors for friends.
    The thing is, people don't seem to respect me. I have a few friends but they also don't seem to respect me a lot. They tend to respect more people who have less skills than me, less knowledge than me, and people who are hugely incompetent in everything they do.
    It's the same with girls, I've had a few girlfriends and I usually treat them good, but at some things just fall apart.
    On top of that, some people tend to dislike me without me saying or doing anything bad to them at all.
    I just can't figure this out, it's very hard on me. Any help would be great.

  2. #2
    parapa is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Learn how to say "no" man, I feel you.

    I've been in the same situation and it sucks, the good guys always come last.

    Do you know something? Who gives a *rap, if you don't have anything to gain from them, then who cares.

    Try to earn the respect of people you have something to gain from, you can't be liked by everyone including your family.

  3. #3
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    I have a few friends but they also don't seem to respect me a lot. They tend to respect more people who have less skills than me, less knowledge than me, and people who are hugely incompetent in everything they do.
    if you want people to respect you, you have to act out of self respect in everything you do. often times, the way people treat you, is a direct reflection of how you treat yourself.

    my best guess is that you do more than your fair share of favors for little in return. you've got to start asking the question "what's in it for me?"

    example: a girl wanted to go to the pool with my group of friends the other day. she tried to tell me that I was paying for her to get in. I told her "if you're too poor to afford a 4 dollar cover, you need to go to work, not the pool." sure she was pissed off about it and called me a jerk. my friends and I just laughed about it. I wasn't going to be taken advantage of, cause once you give in people just go for more.

    you've got to learn to eliminate parasitic people from your life. even if that means having fewer friends and acquaintances. now that's not saying you shouldn't be good to the people who have been there for you. its saying that people should have to earn "favors" from you. had one of my close friends actually needed the money I would have helped them out, but I certainly wasn't going to do favors for a hoe I barely know. (even if that means not having sex with her)

    It's the same with girls, I've had a few girlfriends and I usually treat them good, but at some things just fall apart
    I'd like for you to elaborate on what you mean by "treat them good". its perfectly fine for you to do nice things for a girl, but you don't want it to get to the point where she expects it all the time. do nice things because you wanted to, not because she wanted you to.

    my guess is that you're not a very assertive person. you've got to learn to always tell people what you want, and take the necessary actions to get it.

  4. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Meteora's post is dead on. However you view yourself is how others view you. If your friends don't respect you, get new friends.

    There's certain people in this world that take advantage of others. Once you realize how these people operate you can spot them right away. Don't be friends with these people.

    With women always think about it in this way "If she didn't have a pretty face would I still do this for her"? If the answer is no, don't do it.

    You need to be assertive, you need to stand up for your beliefs, and you need to say no to people who ask you to do things you think you shouldn't have to do. This is how you gain respect.

    I get allot of respect from everyone I meet. Why? Because I do the above things. I'm assertive, I stand up for myself, I say no sometimes, and I look them right in the eye when I do it. I'll even call someone out if they are acting like an idiot. I've done this allot and I haven't gotten in a fight since I've been an adult. You'd be surprised what intense eye contact and a stern tone will do to even big aggressive guys.

    Some people won't like you. It happens. There's nothing you can do about it. It doesn't matter anyways. I've had people not like me and even try to fight me because "I smile too much". WTF is that?! It's dumb, people are dumb. If they don't like you fck em. They don't need a valid reason and they probably don't have one.

    I recommend you work on these things. You most likely need help with proper body language as well so study good body language. When you do something with your body, the mind usually follows.

  5. #5
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Hey Meteora, delete some of your private messages. Your inbox is full!

  6. #6
    aolox is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Yeah, my body language is probably bad.
    So, what you are saying is that if I do more for people than they do for me, I lose respect ? The thing is, I never ask anyone for anything, I do everything myself, since I can pretty much find a solution to most problems pretty easily.
    As for the girls, well, while in a relationship I quickly end up paying for every date, everything you can think of. They see me as someone they can take advantage of.

  7. #7
    Mr. Assertive is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Quote Originally Posted by aolox View Post
    They see me as someone they can take advantage of.
    Bingo. Your girlfriends and so do your friends. It's okay to be selfish. Say no here and there if it is a favor that will be of an inconvenience to you. You do not have to explain yourself. Work on it, if you don't stand up for yourself, the people that take advantage of you surely will not help you. Help yourself out brother. Also look up how to improve your body language, this will help you in the long run. I definitely treat someone who is fidgety and has poor posture as a nonthreat and as someone who I can probably take advantage of. I use to be a bully back in elementary into 7th grade and that is how I found the perfect target to tease.

    Don't be that target.

  8. #8
    meteora's Avatar
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    As for the girls, well, while in a relationship I quickly end up paying for every date, everything you can think of.
    paying for everything is the fastest way to brand yourself as a sucker.

    personally I'm not a fan of costly dates to begin with. but if I did take a girl out to dinner and she waited till the bills came to tell me she forgot to bring money, I would tell her she can go wash dishes to pay for her meal. I'm not the kind of person who puts up with too much bullshit. people are largely manipulative by nature. nothing sucks worse than getting suckered.

    I highly recommend you avoid paying for the girl more than once every now and then. I use it as a test, if she can't pay her own way, than she's not independent enough and could be too lazy for me. I'm not here to be anyone's sugar daddy. I work hard enough for my money. she should too.

    you've got to stand up for yourself. friendships and relationships should be mutually beneficial. if you aren't getting any benefit from it, then why maintain that connection? (I fully understand that this is borderline sociopath logic, but it will save you from being just another mark.)


    Hey Meteora, delete some of your private messages. Your inbox is full!
    clearing up some space now, get at me.

  9. #9
    xavier's Avatar
    xavier is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    I did not read anyone's reply, I just saw your post and had to answer, because I'm familiar with your case.
    I'm a positive person, I don't hate anyone, I try to help when people ask me. I'm a bit more intellectual than most people, and I like to acquire new information about things.
    That's very good, this is a good frame to have.
    I don't try to impose this knowledge to other people because I've learned that they get annoyed by it.
    That's a little bit sound, but you know that imposing yourself is a must in the world, so if you don't with this you have to with something else.
    I'm very competent at everything I do, if I do something I do it perfectly, including favors for friends
    That's not a bit arrogant? People don't like arrogance. Even if you do not throw your knowledge at them to annoy them, you still do stuff that make you seem cocky in a bad way.Furthermore, people don't like people who take themselves too seriously and who focus on every single small detail, who are control freaks.
    I have a few friends but they also don't seem to respect me a lot. They tend to respect more people who have less skills than me, less knowledge than me, and people who are hugely incompetent in everything they do
    Again with the arrogance and the thinking you are better than others. People don't respect people who do things for them for free. I'm not saying take money for it, I'm saying don't do it unless they do something for you instead. Or else why bother spending time with little shits who don't see your worth ?
    On top of that, some people tend to dislike me without me saying or doing anything bad to them at all.I just can't figure this out, it's very hard on me. Any help would be great
    I've said earlier that it is a combination of your pomp ace ways and your eagerness to please. sometimes people are jealous of others, because they feel that they will be dominated by them and that the dominant will not treat them well. I have a feeling you will boss them around or tell them what and how to do it, because you clearly think that your ways will be better.
    "The world will never change much less become what you want it to be. The only thing that can change is you. Face your fears, grow stronger and become what you want to be."
    _Xavier.

  10. #10
    aolox is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: People don't respect me

    Another thing I've noticed is that people sometimes don't listen to me when I'm talking, especially if they are busy with something else. In fact, that is a common trait, they ignore certain aspects of the environment in favor of others.
    I'm not like that, I notice absolutely everything around me and I can react to it. However, I'm not sure that this is a good thing or that is perceived well. Maybe not being aware of everything is perceived as more secure and confident.
    Can someone recommend me a good reading material on all of this ?


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