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  • 2 Post By Wolf24
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Thread: Suggested a date and then no reply!

  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Suggested a date and then no reply!

    This is a recurring issue for me so I need help to fix it!

    Yesterday while waiting behind the traffic light I saw a hot fit chick! I then pulled over, approached her and number closed her. Then I texted her the same evening and she responded. We exchanged around 10-12 messages, and the more we exchanged messages she responded quicker ( I was responding quite late each time). She told me about her job, about her family, about her travel plans and many other things.

    Since I number closed her with "Let's have a coffee together sometime" and since I felt she was comfortable with me I offered a meet up. I said "If I want to see you for a drink/coffee after work where would suit you better? CBD or North Sydney?".

    Unfortunately I had got on the phone with another chick till 10:30pm so when I sent this text I guess she was in bed. However I expected her to respond the next day but she did not.

    Did I bring up the date too quickly? How can I re-initiate? What is the rule of thumb for suggesting a date?

    cheers

  2. #2
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    Lightbulb Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    Sup bro Gotcha here

    Let's have a coffee together sometime"
    Assuming that this is all text related
    I never ask a girl for a date in this way anymore because your giving her more power then she is more likely to be say no.

    I tried a few lines yours including the best one that worked for me was
    - I'm going to "Insert place here" if you want you can join me. -

    Then I found out why it was working because the last letters can join me in the centence stick the longest in your head. When you write for example " I'm going to Barbara coffee's house" your
    Showing that your not needy because she can make up out of it that your going anyway with or without her. by typing "if.you want you can join me" Your showing that your taking the lead.
    Besides that the power of the words want,can,join, me stand more out when you are reading the question while extualy it's a statement. That's why you should never put a ? On the end because then it's a question. I just found this out 2 weeks das ago while being infield so it's quite fresh. Go try it out it does wonders!

    Hope it helps
    As always stay natural
    Gotcha
    "The act of taking the first step is what set apart the winners from the losers"
    - Bryan Tracy
    "Natural routines are the PUA's paint brushes"
    - Gotcha

  3. #3
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    Thanks Gotcha. I said "Let's have a coffee sometime" when I number closed her and so I did not say it in a text. I will write part of the texting stream here so you can get a better idea. I only can think of two possibilities here: 1- She already has a partner but she is not happy with him so she is on the fence. 2- She is a psycho! I cannot see why else she suddenly stopped responding!

    I stopped her while she was running! I actually pulled over my car to stop her and approach her. Crazy hey?

    So here is part of our text messages. As you see she was investing int he convo and replying frequently. All these messages were exchanged since 5pm to 8:30pm :

    Me: Hey Bridget, It was random but nice seeing you earlier today. Do handsome men often pull over to talk to you? ;-)
    Her: haha no, it was definitely a first. Nice to randomly chat to you also. Your name was blah blah, right?
    Me: Correct. How far do you normally run? I was surprised by seeing someone who was as fit as me ;-)
    Her: Today I ran 16k trail run race, which was really fun and quite tough. During the week I do smaller runs though. How about you? Glebe is a lovely area to run.
    Me: I tore my ACL last year so I run as far as my knee allows me to run. What's your profession? Let me guess..a lawyer?
    Her: Oh no you poor thing. Impressive that you run 10km with a broken knee.
    Her: Haha a lawyer? That's a strange guess. I work for a non-for-profit that funds mental health research. I am the research admin manager. What about you?
    Me: Aren't Lawyer and Research Admin Manager same things? ;-) I am the CTO of an American telecom company.
    Her: Have you been to the US? I am going to be in Austin in July.
    Me: Not yet but I will go there soon. I am traveling to Europe in July.
    Her: Where in Europe you are off to?
    Me: Barcelona, Amsterdam, Vienna, Venice and Rome. Do you have siblings?
    Her: Sounds amazing! I do. I am the youngest of five. How about you?
    Me: I've got two sisters. I am the last but not the least one ;-) Do you live by yourself?
    Her: Will you be seeing them in Europe? I live by my sister blah blah (10-12 lines were here!!) .. Are you solo in Glebe?
    Me: Yes I will see them in Austria. Do you work in the city? If I want to see you for a coffee where is better? City or North Sydney?

    After this, she went radio silent! Nothing!

    What do you understand of this? Where I farked it up?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    I don't see a closure, no escalating, not working towards a date. Besides that "sometimes" is not a day month or hour.also sometimes is a very powerful word that is in the end of the centence. as this word is a Question mark you should never put it in a centence because you just gave her the power over the conversation and it shows that your not taking the lead because it's a question not a sstatement.
    "The act of taking the first step is what set apart the winners from the losers"
    - Bryan Tracy
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    - Gotcha

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    There are like 5 hooks in your conversation. You jumped from topic to topic too often. You could instead save the new topic for later when the conversation is about to die and focus on the topic at hand.

    Since you jumped too often, as Gotcha said there's no room for escalation. You just bombarded each other with personal information without having any emotional connection whatsoever. Sounded like a business get-to-know to me.

    You should extend a particular topic further and tease her, make jokes, whatever comes to mind. If you sense she's getting bored or uncomfortable, use your hook and change the topic and now extend that new topic and work on her emotions again.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  6. #6
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    Thanks guys. I thought the more I let her get to know me and let her introduce herself it would be good! Lesson learned.

    How can I turn this around? Is it fixable?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    In a real conversation i tent to use the 80/20 rule,
    80% her talking 20% your talking. I learned this from my dad,
    "ask people about them self's and they will talk for ages" -my dad

    Don't take this rule in full effect because it will effect your game in a very negative way it gets in your head and you will have very awkward conversations. Its a good rule to go by but try to stay away from questions use statements.

    It took me a lot of practice and i still don't have it fully but it's getting better.
    You can not learn this in a day this is "skill" takes up a few months. A good way to practice this is to do pickups without asking any questions but using only body language and statements.
    "The act of taking the first step is what set apart the winners from the losers"
    - Bryan Tracy
    "Natural routines are the PUA's paint brushes"
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  8. #8
    King Grey is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    If you want to try a fix, try to get her to respond to something, like link her a eye catching meme, and say it make you think of her. If she does respond, your back in.

    Also, even if she doesn't respond, try calling her instead. Calling shows that you got the confidence, and you can lead her to a date easier this way. Even if you fk the call, it's no big deal and just move on.

    Call.
    Hey, I am at x place, the coffee here is really good. want to join me here tomorrow?
    or since you talked about travels,
    Travel topic a bit, say you discovered x and x, then drop the date invite.

    Gl

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Suggested a date and then no reply!

    Quote Originally Posted by King Grey View Post
    Hey, I am at x place, the coffee here is really good. want to join me here tomorrow?

    Gl
    That's a ? on the end the rest is good advice
    "The act of taking the first step is what set apart the winners from the losers"
    - Bryan Tracy
    "Natural routines are the PUA's paint brushes"
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