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  • 2 Post By meteora

Thread: Lack of confidence to approach

  1. #1
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Question Lack of confidence to approach

    I'm having trouble with going out and trying to pull, mainly because of a few reasons, I'm either telling my self the same bullshit story that I can't do it today for various reasons, that I'll approach some other day and because I offer some of my friends to go out and pick-up girls and they tend to refuse, mainly because they are struggling with the same thing I am, the very first few approaches.

    I have no trouble whatsoever talking to a stranger or interacting with a female, it's just that the whole going out alone and trying to meet someone is just.. I'll be honest - frightening a bit. I'm not a very plutonic guy who women see as an emotional tampon (gay friend), I actually tend to be flirtatious even when I'm not very conscious of it, the whole building up sexual tension or attraction as some people like to put it, hasn't been a very big challenge, for I've had some success in this area in the past by making a girl who I liked (who has a bf) not only to start liking me but also to be the first one to break and kiss me.

    So, long story short, I don't tend to be very timid, I'm quite social especially when I'm all hyped up, but doing an approach all alone with the thought in my head that I have to get this girl is a bit terrifying, so do you, the loyal members of PUA have any tips/strategies you can share with me? Would be best if it was a person who was struggling with the same problem that I've encountered right now who could talk me through using his own personal experience.

  2. #2
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Lack of confidence to approach

    I'm having trouble with going out and trying to pull, mainly because of a few reasons, I'm either telling my self the same bullshit story that I can't do it today for various reasons, that I'll approach some other day and because I offer some of my friends to go out and pick-up girls and they tend to refuse, mainly because they are struggling with the same thing I am, the very first few approaches.
    here's a good tactic for getting over your fear of talking to people. forget about "getting the girl"

    instead, just go out to be sociable and meet a few people. it takes so much pressure off of your interactions when you're just out to be friendly. many pua's leave out the most fundamental basic technique. the ability to comfortably talk to people without any expectations.

    once you master that, having fun interactions with attractive girls will be much easier.

    it's just that the whole going out alone and trying to meet someone is just.. I'll be honest - frightening a bit.
    it gets less scary with practice. that's the way it is with learning anything new. for instance, the first time I rode a motorcycle I was nervous as hell. (and I was riding in a field) I probably didn't go over 10 mph. with practice I built confidence in my riding ability, and I am pleased to say that not long ago, I rode that same motorcycle down a windy narrow road going 50 mph without much fear in my mind. (ok, maybe I was a little terrified when I almost got hit head on by a truck, but that wasn't unreasonable fear)

    but doing an approach all alone with the thought in my head that I have to get this girl is a bit terrifying, so do you, the loyal members of PUA have any tips/strategies you can share with me? Would be best if it was a person who was struggling with the same problem that I've encountered right now who could talk me through using his own personal experience.
    here's another encouraging thought you should have "this girl doesn't matter that much, there are plenty of other girls here, I'm bound to get my d!ck wet in something" (of course this mindset works best if you truly believe that you have lots of options) (if this mindset doesn't work for you, just go back to the friendly conversation mindset)

    I'd highly recommend you set out to have friendly conversations with strangers every day until you are a very sociable person with plenty of acquaintances. its kind of like how learning to balance a bicycle well will make balancing a motorcycle much less of a task. master the fundamentals and the advanced stuff will be easier to learn.


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