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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: She's testing me for friendzone?

  1. #1
    zone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She's testing me for friendzone?

    I've been flirting with a girl who keeps touching me (IOI's) when we go out to eat with friends, now she just sent a text telling me she's obsessed with her new guy she started seeing, and, like, saying she hates that, being obsessed, like asking me for advice. I feel like it's a shit test to possibly put me in the friendzone...this thing has happened to me before, they ask me for advice on a guy they are interested in, and I end up friendzoned.....we'v e been having fun and flirting around, innocent..I am older than her...she is about 35, I'm 497not sure what to do. Any Ideas?

  2. #2
    zone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    I am 47, she is about 35, friendly flirty, casual relationship

  3. #3
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    You're ALREADY in the Friend Zone....
    Innocent flirting is not the same as "attraction building" flirting.

    When you flirt properly, it doesn't matter how young or how old the girl is... you can still build genuine attraction & stay out of the friend zone.

    I have one girl who is 22 that I'm seeing on a fun basis. Nothing serious, but more than friends. (I'm 44)
    I also have a 53 yr old woman I've been out with on a few occasions & spent the weekend at her house... more than friends...

    And a couple dozen others of all ages in between that keep blowing up my phone.
    It's not because I have money, or because I'm fit / toned / athletic, or because I'm great looking.
    I'm just average.

    But it's because I flirt with intention. They understand that I'm interested in them as more than friends, by the way I interact with them. There's no doubt about that fact.

    Just because a girl "touches" you, doesn't mean she's giving IOI's. It means she's comfortable with you.

    You just need to stop "casually flirting" and be a little more bold & assertive.


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  4. #4
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    I hate to tell you this but girls asking you about advice on guys they are interested in is never a good sign ...... I would tell them "You should ask someone else because I'm not Dear Abby", although girls never ask me for relationship advice
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  5. #5
    zone is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    I think ur right, T-Mal...I am already there, crap.....I did not flirt with intention because I did not want to risk rejection... wanted her to feel comfortable and not threatened..she does feel very comfortable with me...is it too late...?, have not responded to her text complaining about being obsessed....wonder if I should write back

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    Don't respond back about her being obsessive. You're gonna have to put some distance between the two of you for a bit.
    You don't have to totally ignore her, but just don't be so available all the time. Start going out with other women...

    Don't make a big deal out of it, but just do it.
    She'll start to see that other women are interested in you & may wonder why you're not pursuing her.

    It's possible to get out of the Friend Zone, but it's not an easy task.
    You really have to be willing to risk losing her as a friend in order to progress things.

    But from now on, flirt with intention.
    Be bold & generate a fun interaction. She has to know that your interest level isn't "just friends".

    Women aren't opposed to guys approaching them & "hitting on them"... they just hate it when the guys constantly do it the same, boring, lame way.

    Here are some things that I ALWAYS hear from women after I've been chatting with them for a day or two:

    You were just SOOOO different from everyone else! It was refreshing!
    You made me smile / laugh!
    I just liked you right from the start.
    I wanted to know more about you right away.
    You made me all giddy...
    I just felt drawn to you.
    I would meet you for drinks right now!

    Why? Because I say & do things no other guy has said or done to them. They enjoy talking to me & look forward to my next text or phone call.
    They text me out of the blue, just to see what I'm doing. They send me selfies of themselves making silly faces or kissy lips & say "just thinkin about ya".
    And the reason is because I flirted right from the start moment & built attraction first... not rapport (Rapport comes AFTER attraction)

    Yes, I had to work to become socially dynamic & fun & bold & confident, but it wasn't "hard" work. It was just a matter of pushing the boundaries a little bit more each time... and knowing I'd screw up along the way.

    Don't be afraid of rejection. In fact, don't think of it as "rejection"... think of it as what it really is... "This girl or that girl is just not the one".
    Look at it like SHE just did you a favor by showing you right off the bat that you'd be wasting your time with her.

    OR.... just realize you're not gonna win 'em all & move on.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    PantyThief's Avatar
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    Default Re: She's testing me for friendzone?

    Quote Originally Posted by zone View Post
    I've been flirting with a girl who keeps touching me (IOI's) when we go out to eat with friends, now she just sent a text telling me she's obsessed with her new guy she started seeing, and, like, saying she hates that, being obsessed, like asking me for advice. I feel like it's a shit test to possibly put me in the friendzone...this thing has happened to me before, they ask me for advice on a guy they are interested in, and I end up friendzoned.....we'v e been having fun and flirting around, innocent..I am older than her...she is about 35, I'm 497not sure what to do. Any Ideas?
    You shouldn't even have let this happened to begin with, always when you meet a girl you should be talking to her man-to-woman from the start. If you talk to her on a sexual level then "friendzoning" doesn't happen, because if they aren't interested you just end up as aquaintances at best. Stop trying to be a friend and flirt with her instead... Starting from now!

    If she shoots you down (she probably will) then you just forget her like you should and would have done in the first place if you'd communicated your interest from the start instead of wasting time on a non-interested girl.

    Btw sorry to hear you're 497 years old


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