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Thread: Dealing with other dudes

  1. #1
    2totango is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Dealing with other dudes

    Hi guys
    I have been trying to become a better PUA for the last year and have improved a lot reading material here and on the web. However there is an issue that I am still struggling with. Its the pride/esteem attached to some limiting beliefs (as I think they are) at times.

    I am of Indian ethnicity (but no where near the stereotype that is portrayed). I might say I am above average looking (have been called handsome by girls often) but I am 5'6'' (168 cm) and average build.
    Both being of Indian background and shorter than the average man has been a hurdle before but I have overcome it mostly and usually I have no problems with that. I have had a GF who was 6' tall and a HB9 who was Caucasian.

    However sometimes I have issues with other guys (taller and muscular than me) who bring up me being short or average build by trying to make a joke of it.
    Recently one guy jokingly said in a crowd where there was a target "where is your ass, u dont really have on". I just said in return "stop looking at my ass dude".

    They do it especially in front of other women that they might be targeting as they clearly see me as a threat. Some even pick me up to show they are big (physical intimidation to put me down in other women eyes). Now, usually this does no affect me much, but I have noticed lately that women might subconsciously think I am an unsuitable mate given the presence of bigger taller and muscular men than me.

    How do I deal with comments that are based on my physicality and how do you deal with guys who pick you up to show off ?

    Thanks guys !

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    If a guy literally lifts you off the ground... just laugh & say something like, "Dude, you gotta buy me dinner & drinks first if you wanna pick me up!"

    Or

    "Ahhh, I see you're out picking up guys again huh? No luck with the ladies?" *wink/smile/laugh

    Or

    "I realize I'm soooo cute & adorable that you find me irresistible, but this just won't work between us." *Laugh/smile

    Get the idea?
    Let it work in your favor, as if you're used to all the attention because people just can't help but be drawn to to you.

    It's all about frame.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    2totango is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    Hey man ! Thanks a lot ! that's some really good advice for when people pick me up.

    How about the other times when they make a comment on me being small or thin or so on ?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    Same thing...
    Frame it so that it works in your favor.

    If guys call you small, thin, etc... "Yep! I'm cuddly like that." Then smile & look at the target & wink... & say, "SHE knows what I'm talking about, dontcha?"

    Or

    "I'm a little creeped out by your fascination with me right now, where's the foreplay?"

    Or

    "Hell yeah! I'm no fat-ass, and I'm closer to all the good stuff!" *then smile / wink at the target.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  5. #5
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    I like T Mal's advice here. The worst thing you can do is get angry or reactive. If you get pissed off women will notice it and think wow he'll get pissed off easily around me too.

    Another thing is while you want to be friendly around these guys don't try to be their friend if you are all competing for the same woman. Also, don't be unnecessarily rude to them just pretend they aren't really there. Heck, you can even grab her hand and pull her away from them at some point(as long as you have established some kind of rapport). Just say "hey, come with me I want to show you something.."

  6. #6
    Adam12 is offline Experienced PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    Those phrases are dorky though....

  7. #7
    studmuffin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    The solution is obvious: start building up your physique already.

    You're not supposed to be getting rag-dolled in any situation. The fact that guys just pick you up means you're like a toy to them. No words will ever offset this.

    You can't do much about your height, but your physicality is 100% under your control. I see guys shorter than you at the gym that would NEVER have to deal with that crap.

    Get in the gym, dude. That's the real answer.

    And from now on, when a guy tries to pick you up, tell him very seriously to NEVER do that to you. Size be damned.

  8. #8
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    Ok, how about if a guy pokes you or touches you when he is talking to you? I get this especially when I look away and a guy is apparently trying to force eye contact. In my opinion he's trying to assert dominance(and be more alpha). How do you handle situations like that?

  9. #9
    studmuffin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystik View Post
    Ok, how about if a guy pokes you or touches you when he is talking to you? I get this especially when I look away and a guy is apparently trying to force eye contact. In my opinion he's trying to assert dominance(and be more alpha). How do you handle situations like that?
    I'm a muscular 6'3''. I'm not exactly an expert at being smaller than people, but the smaller guys that get the most respect from me always seem to have very direct eye contact down as second nature.

    And seriously, if you don't want to be touched, just say "hey, watch your hands, man." or something to that effect. When he puts his hand where it doesn't belong, just calmly remove it. Done.

    Not everything has some clever workaround. Manning up feels good!!!!

  10. #10
    Mystik is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with other dudes

    I don't think size is always an issue. I'm also 6'3 not very muscular but about 245. However, I still get guys who seem to insist I look at them when I talk to them. I'm not sure what the big deal is. Do they think I'm not paying attention or something. I'm not a little kid for crying out loud. Maybe I should say to them something like "touch me again and I'll touch you back twice as hard" or "dude, what the f***."

    As far as removing his hands goes, usually they do it so fast I don't get a chance to remove it. It's more like a quick touch or poke than a lingering touch. Still, I don't like it. Anyway, thanks for the advice, I will man up next time and let them no that's not acceptable. For now maybe I should practice in the mirror or something.


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