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  • 1 Post By drgnsfire12

Thread: A date with a girl in a relationship?

  1. #1
    WOM
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    Default A date with a girl in a relationship?

    SO you might have read this part before:
    I'm working on a girl that is in a relationship, it's a puppylove thing, her second real relationship. it has lasted 8 months so far. I'm not trying to end it, it will end naturally. I just want to be the obvious choice once it does. We fooled around once some weeks ago (but her BF doesn't know she cheated, she lied. told him I made a move and she said no)

    she is currently on vacation with her family, a 3 week trip away from both me and her BF.
    We have so far been speaking every day of her trip so far.

    The other day I saw a poster for a commonality interest between use, which is a concert, classical music. I took a picture of it, and during the conversation today, at a high, I asked if she wanted to go. Then send the poster. She says yes in various different ways from yeeeeees! To full caps, to "yes?". Lets just say she said yes.

    A little later she backtracked and said "I can't go with your, my BF wouldn't like it. And I don't want to lie to him"

    I'm simplifying now, but I basically accepted and said I understand your feelings. But you've been waiting for a concert like this for some time, it'd be too dumb to not be able to see it because of such rules.

    She replied "you're right, I'll go!

    And I replied "I know you will, hence why I orders the tickets like half an hour ago"

    She replied "you're kidding, right? You serious?" "we can't!, it's not right, I can't go with you. I want to, but I can't"

    I replied "Liston, the ticket is orders, in your name. I'll "lose it" at a seven eleven or somethin'. We're not going together. But you're going. We have similar interests. If we were to meet randomly at such an event, no rules are broken."

    Then she seemed to cave. "You're right! I'm shoo hyped!" "I've been waiting for something like this for ages!"

    SO

    I'm planning on setting up a met a little early to have a glass or two of wine before the concert. But how would you play out the concert? Should I treat her like a friend? Or should I just game her as always?

    Also, a classical music orchestra concert event ain't the sexiest of venues, so I'm thinking I'll be using this for comfort building, but should I show little interest? Not sure if I'm formulating myself in a bad way now or what. But it boils down to "how would you play the situation?"

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't give you some advice on this topic, so.. The reason she says that she wants to go but she can't is obviously because of her boyfriend, you can use any boyfriend destroyer that is related to jealousy, hell even make up your own one, example:
    -yeah I want to go, but I can't!
    -aah, let me guess, cause of your boyfriend?
    -yeah
    -it's all cool, it's kind of cute how jealous he is, but maybe he just doesn't want to take the chance to lose you, I understand, maybe some other time"

    the fact that you're not trying to talk her into going with you is very powerful, because you're showing that her boyfriend is insecure and can't do better and also implying that you're a very cool and understanding guy. This is one of my notices about you, you try to talk her into going too much, you haven't overdone it so far in my opinion but keep in mind, that very unattractive (chasing)

    Now, once you actually go to the concert, obviously you can't game her (at least not right away), try to stay in A2 for as long as possible and make her feel as much as possible attraction for you, it doesn't mean that you just act stubborn and don't show attraction as well, for if you do she'll get bored and frustrated with you, you need to be hard to get but not impossible, and leaving her the one who's more attracted. The more the sexual tension builds up the harder it is for her to resist, doesn't even matter what it is a kiss or sex. I tend to use this this technique a lot, honestly, I tend to take my time in A2 and just really try to get them attracted to me so much to the point where I'm not the one physically escalating, but rather the girl, maybe this isn't for you but I find it really fun to do and feels awesome when you know that she's attracted to you to the point where she can't resist anymore. Also, the reason for why you shouldn't show your attraction towards her right away is because so that the next time she meets up with you she can rationalize her actions thinking, "okay there's no 100% chance that this guy is hitting on me so I shouldn't feel bad for meeting up with him" it is okay that you know that you're attracted to her, and she knows that (if that's the case) but if you tend to display it without playing it smart it can have major consequences in getting this girl

    So yeah - don't chase, don't be needy (for attention or a meet up), be the chased not the chaser, build up as much attraction as possible without making it seem that you're more attracted to her than you, don't look at her boyfriend as a threat but rather as puppy dog, have mindset where you think of him "aww.. it's cute that she's still with him only because she feels bad to leave him all alone, because they both know he can't do better" and honestly, I'm getting a bit off topic but when the jealousy is too overwhelming you can be 100% sure that it's not because the other person cares about the other so much, but they are just too afraid to take the chance to lose them and feel the need to suffocate them by giving them no freedom what so ever.

    anyways, hope this helps, best of luck to ya man!

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    WOM (06-28-2015)

  4. #3
    drgnsfire12 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    If you get her out and its just you and her you have to work on escalation to keep the momentum moving forward, now a classical music venue is different then a rock concert where there would be lots of chances to escalate via touching and grabbing but it's not impossible. One of the things I like to do at theater shows is lean in and talk into the girl's ear , most women find whispering or breathing softly into the ear to be pleasurable and relaxing, especially the area of and behind the earlobe ..... you can say things like "I'm glad you came with me tonight" or " I can't think of an body else that I rather be here with" ..... of course after the concert you should grab a bite or a drink at a little café ...... do some research and find one close by you can suggest ..... also wear some good cologne so when you lean in you smell good .... and bring some mints so your breath is fresh and minty ........ GL
    "The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - his Holiness the Dalai Llama of Tibet

  5. #4
    WOM
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    Thank you both for your advice, but this is starting to prove more difficult then I'd hope for.

    SHe comes home from her trip at the 13th. In the late evening I suppose. She hasn't seen her BF for 3 weeks. So she is set to meet him the day after, the day of the convert. This had been a plan All along, I know. But she's not starting to overthink things. "I have to tell him I'm going to the concert, I'm with him that day, I I say where I'm going, he'll want to tag along"

    First of, I'm taking it as a positive that she doesn't seem to want the outcome of him tagging along.

    But it does post a problem. I folder her to contact a female friend of hers and ask her to come along. I'd simply be at the same venue as them. She send out the text. Half a day later I hear her friend can't and then she starts complaining about the fact that none of her friends like classical music.

    I told her that she should just do a little white lie, tell her BF that she is meeting up with her friend (the one who couldn't come), some time before the concert to get good seats. And that she'd just randomly meet me at some point afterwards.

    I send the message when I got her message (I've been without internet coverage for some time, it's in the middle of the night, she's sleeping. But she'll wake up to the messages). I'm wondering if there is any more objections about not wanting to lie. Should I just cut the thread and say "I understand. It's too bad his little jealousy thing is going to keep you from this experience. But nothing to do about it" and then simply not go myself (I have no desire to go alone to this thing, and it's such a specialized event, the other girls I'm currently gaming shouldn't be taken to it)

  6. #5
    WOM
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    update: she started yapping about how she'd feel if her bf went to a concert with another girl that wasn't her. blablabla.
    I said "I understand. Listen, I just wanted to share the experience with you, it was the first thing I thought of when I saw the poster. But if you don't want to tell a white lie, i understand " "you need to do what you want"

    Her reply was " I need to think more on this"

    At this point I'm feeling the urge to cut the thread. I mean this is going the wrong way, ain't it?

  7. #6
    DSAN1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    I would go with the classic " SO YOUR BOYFRIEND DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO HAVE GUY FRIENDS???"

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    WOM (06-29-2015)

  9. #7
    WOM
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    Default Re: A date with a girl in a relationship?

    The date is defiantly on, I think there's a very low flaking chance by now.

    She doesn't want to lie to her BF, but she doesn't want to pass on the concert. So she says that "I'll go alone, and if you try to talk to me, I'll ignore you. This way I'm not lying when I say I'm going alone".

    I replied "I was planning on ignoring you as well "

    Her response was "goodie, we're on the same page then :P"

    Now I'm still thinking this is all fluff that she's saying to keep her conscious mind guilt free about going. I mean, we're meeting up before the event due to a work thing. The staff meeting is from 17-19 and the concert is from 20 and out. Stating that if I try to talk to her, she'll ignore me. That wouldn't be normal a place. She's been banned by her BF to speak to me all this time, yet she has been talking to me. And now, unlike that time, we'll be face2face again.

    I just want to know if I'm right here? I should view this as fluff and just game like normal?


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