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Thread: Getting the girl from work

  1. #11
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    My place was a no go because I am home from college for the summer which means: parents. It definitely would not have worked out that way or I would have. I am planning on doing kind of an unexpected meet-up next by asking if she's off work and home, and then saying "ok get ready. I'm coming to get you" and taking her to do something on her summer bucket list. I think it will be a good move, but do you think I should wait a bit for it? I would either be doing this Friday or the next, but I am already running out of time before I leave for a trip on the 20th and she moves while I'm gone.

  2. #12
    minghus is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    as much as things appear to be going well, she might just think you are not romantically or sexually attracted to her, and you do not want to get to that point. if you feel you have built enough attraction go for it , before she plays the LJBF card on you, and i also think you should have taken her back to your place. try meeting at your place before going out on the next date so that she can be familiar with it, who knows the date might just end up being at your place

  3. #13
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    Ya I totally get what you mean. I should still be good though because the first time was just a "testing the water" hangout, and the second time was a date. As an update, we went out again last Thursday but plans didn't quite work out so we mixed it up and went to a park on the lake Erie shore for a bit. It was nice, but I didn't feel the moment was quite right then, even though I realize I should have still gone for it. Tonight is our last meetup before she moves so I am 110% going for at least the k-close here, since she said she would come visit me at Ohio State at some point which is good. I have a pretty relaxing date planned (ice cream at a waterfall in an old town and then a creak walk which was her idea to add), so we should be fairly secluded at least later on. I've got a good feeling about tonight, and I will let you guys know how this one goes.

    I get what you're saying minghus, but my house just wouldn't work out with my family being home. Trust me when I say that would become an awkward situation. Also, I've been told I should be fine still in terms of the LJBF thing since we've only been out twice and she knows I don't just hook-up with girls all the time, yet that I'm not just the super nice guy who gets pushed around.

  4. #14
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    I'm hardly one to talk since I rarely ever have the balls to approach, but the few times I have managed to isolate/escalate, it was because my instinct pointed out the opportunities during my outings. Hopefully this will be one of my rare contributions to other guys out there who struggle with this sort of thing.

    - On my second date with one girl I had known for about a month, we went for a walk in the woods and there was no one around. I totally AFC'd before the end of the woods and just straight up told her I wanted to kiss her, but we just did it anyway. Her response was so enthusiastic that I started to go further, aggressively, as she got more and more turned on. This was how I lost my virginity.

    - Much later, on a date with another girl, I walked her from the bar to her car, where she drove me into the parking lot where my car was. Earlier, she had responded well to dancing with me and had been all smiles; later, rather than me getting out, we talked for a while in her car. I don't remember the context very well, but I do remember slowly leaning in to kiss her on the cheek, slowly and sensually, about an inch from her lips, and hovered a bit away from her face for just a slight second to see how it was received and if she got the hint. She turned her head and we started making out.

    - A girl I met in a bar in SF when I was living there had been dancing with me and seemed very nice, and she seemed to think the same of me - she was mostly comfortable and smiled a lot. I asked her if she wanted to kiss despite someone claiming she was into girls, and she said "I don't know... Maybe..." But her body language gave no resistance or disinterest, and there was some kind of soft look in her eyes, so I went for it anyway. She took it. And she was a fantastic kisser and told me the same not long after we came up for breath.

    - A years-long LJBF walked away from the bar with me after a really fun night of dancing, drinking, and singing. We're walking close together when her hand accidentally collides with my butt. "Don't slap my butt!" I sneer, all mock indignation. She giggles like a flustered chipmunk while trying to tell me she wasn't. I quickly return the favor with no accident - the first overtly sexual thing I've ever done to her - and all of a sudden it's like someone kicked on a Formula 1 Engine that's been sitting in the garage for years waiting to be unleashed. She's curling up on my arm against the car, shuddering while I run a hand over her side and through her hair. She starts cooling down as I follow her to the door, and we start going on about how bad an idea it is and how we shouldn't do it... But all the while, she's still smiling and laughing and giggling now that the cat's out of the bag. I push her back against the seats and start running my mouth over her chest and neck. It's fantastic, but I decide I'm not ready to take it further and pull back.

    Anyway. What did all of these situations have in common? The girl showed IOIs, was comfortable and entertained, and I escalated very slowly and clearly. In some cases, those IOIs came in the form of isolation itself; she's comfortable enough to be around you alone, and if she's responded well to your flirting, you know something's on.

    In your particular case, the fact that she invited you into her apartment alone was a huge indicator that the comfort was there. If she was responding well to innuendo, then the attraction is mostly there. When you were in the parking lot talking with her, I might have casually asked her about something I remembered from the apartment to see if she'd make an excuse for me to come see it, or lightly touch her while teasing or flirting a bit to see how it's received.

    Like the others have said, just make sure you do act on your attraction or it becomes harder (though not impossible) to do so, and don't doubt yourself, because in my experience that is 90% of the time a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've lost several hot numbers just because I got too nervous.

  5. #15
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    ShortStuff, that was a really good post so I would say you succeeded in that contribution haha. It sounds like we are fairly similar in style and end up in some of the same situations. I am kind of feeling like this will turn into a more long-term thing but I'm conflicted right now on how I feel about that.

    Anyways, as an update, we are still kind of in the same place as before. Last night, I took her to this old-school town to get ice-cream and hang by the waterfall in the middle of the place. She insisted on not getting ice cream but was staring at the weird pack of gum in the store so I bought it with my ice cream. Standing at the falls, she ended up finishing my ice cream after asking for a bite. Then she wanted to go for a creek walk (which I am always down for) so we went and were alone for a while. We tried out the gum, which started really good but turned bland pretty quickly so we were joking about it. There was a ton of kino that went down but no kissing. We left and while in the car on the way back, things got kind of interesting.

    I like asking random, fun, thought-inducing questions like "tell me about a time something embarrassing happened to you that you wouldn't tell me about otherwise," which is exactly what I asked. The good thing about asking these types of questions is that they are always a fun time and a REALLY easy way to build comfort and attraction, depending on how you play them. Me asking this led her to throw me a HUGE curve-ball and ask me about my sex life. I am pretty open about who I am and what I do so I just flat out told her that I don't do much at all right now but it's partially by choice. Sure it was not something I was planning on sharing, but that's part of the game. After that, she pretty much opened up to me about a lot of things. We talked about meeting up one last time but made no plans. After we split off, I realized I she still had the pack of gum so I shot her a quick text and here's how the last few messages went:
    Last night
    Me: "Ok now I need to see you again. You have my gum!"
    Her: "Lol. I think I slipped it out of my pocket into a drink holder in your car."
    (I found it)
    Me: "Oh ya, I guess you did"
    Her: "But I would still love to see you again"
    Me: "ehh, but what's in it for me?" (deciding to egg her on)
    Her: "A fun time!"
    Me:"....I'm not buying it. Maybe be more specific."
    Her: "dinner Food or maybe just drinks at my apartment"
    (I cut it off for the night knowing that was a more daring move on her part so I wanted to let things stew for the night and continued this morning)
    Me: "That sounds pretty nice actually"
    Her: "Ya, until you see my apartment."

    Basically, I pushed her to up the ante knowing that she wanted to see me, which has now led to meeting up in private for drinks.

    Long story short, I should have made a move already, but I haven't. I'm still in the game, but things get more complex the longer you wait. For those of you who have similar issues or get stuck in these situations, learn from my successes and failures throughout this process, notice the girl's reactions to various things, and when it's time to act, PULL THE TRIGGER.
    I hope this helps at least someone here.

  6. #16
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    A couple quick thoughts...
    1. She said she wants to see you again. She is already chasing - game isn't necessary here.
    2. The question about your sex life was actually a gold mine. You might not be very experienced, but your honesty is a form of dhv because it shows that you're not insecure about it. And just being on the subject gives you ample opportunity to get her thinking about what she likes in the bedroom, a very good situation to be in.

    Anyway, well done. We're rooting for you!

  7. #17
    SHAD0WBLADE95 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Getting the girl from work

    Ok, update time. Sorry for the delay guys, I've been on an 11 day backpacking/sea-kayaking venture in the upper peninsula. So the apartment meet went pretty well. I got there, we talked and drank for a few hours, and as we went I worked my way closer to her since we started out with one on the couch and one on the floor. Turned out she had a pole in the middle of the room, which she said was there when she got the place so I of course lightly teased her about it. She then told me she puts it up sometimes for fun. I got her to dance for me, and as the evening went on, we ended up on her small couch with her legs on me and I was playing with them I guess or stroking them a bit.... You know what I mean. Finally I checked the clock and realized I was running out of time like an idiot, so I started just going straight in for it, talking to her slowly/softly during my approach. I stopped around 80% and she didn't meet me the rest of the way, so after about 30 seconds, I said F it and went all in. From there it was kissing back in forth with her pushing me back to get on top and I would just switch it around every now and then. She's definitely a bit kinky, but it was interesting.

    Now comes the bad part. Things were going REALLY well, but like I alluded to earlier, I ran out of time. I was in the process of going for the home-run when I looked over and noticed my friend was calling me 10 times to get my butt out the door to catch my bus to Columbus. I had to break things off and leave right in the middle which SUUUUUCKED. Now she's moved back to PA and the only question left is: Can I slowly maintain something for the next month so I can get her down to Columbus at the beginning of the school year like we'd discussed or is it over (you can probably guess which I want)?

    Any ideas on how I can be texting her here and there to hopefully keep me in the back of her mind so I can just get her to come down in like a month? That's a whole new territory for me. What kind of things can I say? I already talked to her briefly when i got back and she asked about the trip, I asked about her new apartment, but then I said she should send me some pics of it and she never responded. I was going to make a silly neggy comment asking about how many bars she's been to so far since she's been back since she mainly explores bars over anything else haha. Thoughts?

    Finally, as a side note, this was my first time for a fair number of things in this experience so any advice or corrections other than the obvious that I take too long would be great!


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