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  1. #1
    skatoylas is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Problem with comfort and kino escalation.

    Hey guys! Generally my lifestyle is very cool and through indirect DHVing I usually manage to build attraction to a lot of girls in my social circle. The problem comes, after I know some girl likes me and if her style is not an aggressive one. If she is aggressive, after I have built the attraction, she just escalates physically on me. But if not, for some reason, even with all the assurance in the world that she wants me, I cant escalate and that leads to awkward moments. For example we are walking on a street and we are both looking forward and not touching each other and there is this awkwardness in the air, and we both want to touch each other and we both know that the other person wants too but nothing happens. I dont know why this happens to me but I suppose and hope it is common. so I d like you to explain me how some of you got over it and make suggestions.

    Right now I am talking to a girl, she is a TDR from pandoras box, and I have done very very good job DHVing and showing that my personality is exactly the way she wants it (grounded, commited, with interests etc) and have built the attraction needed but for some reason I cant even hold hands with her. Actually I cant even try!!

    I dont know, maybe its just a "man-up-and-do-it" problem but still I would like to take your opinions on this guys!

  2. #2
    JustMe is offline Aspiring PUA Achievements:
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    Default Re: Problem with comfort and kino escalation.

    Hey man,
    If you know you have the attraction from her and you have her isolated(1on1) that should be the easy part for you. Joke around with her make fun of something get her to laugh. Bump her with your shoulder and ask her if she's been drinking she keeps walking into you. The first chance you get that you already made contact even if it's in the candy aisle at 7-11 when you pass by her touch the small of her back not to high not to low maybe even put your hand on her waist while you do it. #1 it let's her know you look at her than more than a friend #2 even if she don't show you will catch her attention just something that works GREAT. Plus, you have to talk and joke with her about something eyes straight not talking will not work. Put some thought into it before you meet p with her something that she probably won't give a one word answer. When your convo game is up to par she won't think about her girlfriends or anything else ou will be the total package.

    Wish you luck brotha

  3. #3
    Vicodin24's Avatar
    Vicodin24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Problem with comfort and kino escalation.

    A little trick I like to do to escalate is to have her be the one to physically initiate it. It's a compliance test of sorts. Instead of me grabbing her hand, I tell her to hold mine. Here's a little breakdown:

    Verbally, I'm going 100%. I want her to hold my hand and I make that clear. All she has to do is comply.

    Physically, she's going 90, I'm going 10. She's the one that does the reaching to hold your hand.

    Obviously, you're good to further escalate from here. If you're uncomfortable about being too sexual/forward, squeeze her hand a couple of times and see if she squeezes back. Gets a little game going where you both end up getting accustomed to touching one another. From here, escalate by holding her other hand and squeezing it, too. Say she hurt you and demand a hug. You get the idea.

    I think you're afraid of escalating because you're unsure of what will happen. You're worried about rejection. IOI's are emphasized for a reason - you see them, you move forward appropriately. You can play it safe with my method for now, though.
    Always leave her better than you found her.


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