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  1. #1
    b18c is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I messed up by doing this?

    Hi guys, I need your advice about this. I have a female friend that I've been trying to seduce for a year now but she only sees me as a friend. I even studied attraction and seduction with reputable coaches that has good reviews on their programs. But it has no effect on her. On other words, I'm at the friend zone. We became good friends and hangout when we have time. And I always try to make a move on her everytime, but she rejects my sexual advances and still talks and hangout with me. I think my ego took over cuz I got upset with the situation, and it bothers me if I see her with other guys and posting pictures with them on social medias. I made a conscious decision that I'm gonna blackout on her for few months meaning no contact. But instead, I unfollowed and unfriended her in all of my social medias. And of course she noticed it, she also unfollowed me too after a week. Now I feel bad cuz I ruined our awesome friendship with my passive aggressive decision. I know she's mad at me and we haven't talked since then. Now, I'm more concerned about our friendship rather than attracting her cuz it feels like I'm losing someone very special. Should I initiate contact and apologize to her? if so, what should I say without lowering my frame and coming off needy? Or should I just cut my loses and let her go and learn from this experience.

  2. #2
    derpaderp is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Did I messed up by doing this?

    Quote Originally Posted by b18c View Post
    Hi guys, I need your advice about this. I have a female friend that I've been trying to seduce for a year now but she only sees me as a friend. I even studied attraction and seduction with reputable coaches that has good reviews on their programs. But it has no effect on her. On other words, I'm at the friend zone. We became good friends and hangout when we have time. And I always try to make a move on her everytime, but she rejects my sexual advances and still talks and hangout with me. I think my ego took over cuz I got upset with the situation, and it bothers me if I see her with other guys and posting pictures with them on social medias. I made a conscious decision that I'm gonna blackout on her for few months meaning no contact. But instead, I unfollowed and unfriended her in all of my social medias. And of course she noticed it, she also unfollowed me too after a week. Now I feel bad cuz I ruined our awesome friendship with my passive aggressive decision. I know she's mad at me and we haven't talked since then. Now, I'm more concerned about our friendship rather than attracting her cuz it feels like I'm losing someone very special. Should I initiate contact and apologize to her? if so, what should I say without lowering my frame and coming off needy? Or should I just cut my loses and let her go and learn from this experience.
    I am in a similar situation man!
    although. in my situation she shows A lot of IOI's Etc.
    Jealousy Plotline is Perfect if she is the jealous type.
    by showing her you are wanted by other women she might notice and be attracted
    sadly some people have to be manipulated so if i were you id tell her someone else unfriended some of your friends on your social media and you recently noticed
    or something like that
    anyway good luck (:

  3. #3
    b18c is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed up by doing this?

    Quote Originally Posted by derpaderp View Post
    I am in a similar situation man!
    although. in my situation she shows A lot of IOI's Etc.
    Jealousy Plotline is Perfect if she is the jealous type.
    by showing her you are wanted by other women she might notice and be attracted
    sadly some people have to be manipulated so if i were you id tell her someone else unfriended some of your friends on your social media and you recently noticed
    or something like that
    anyway good luck (:
    Thanks for your input. I just felt bad for what I did. We were supposed to hangout couple weeks back but I blew her off cuz I was already planning to walk away from her completely.

  4. #4
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    Cool Lover is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed up by doing this?

    My advice would be to learn from the experience. It sounds like you were coming from a weak frame and jealousy got the best of you in the moment. I think you should initiate contact from a stronger frame, but not all apologetic.

    Life's too short, there's so many women out there. What's wrong with having a few that are just friends? If you are escalating and she's not responding, then she's putting herself into your dreaded "friend zone", which is an imaginary concept anyway. But you can still go out with her as a pivot, game her social circle, etc... while benefiting from the preselection and social proof.

    I see where you were going, you wanted to give her the "If we can't be lovers then we can't be friends" ultimatum, which is bold and can work, but you were not direct and sincere, and you waited over a year. Sure, a jealousy plotline can work great, and seduction is won in the takeaway. You didn't even give her an ultimatum to respond to, you just made an emotional decision and ejected yourself. It's not the end of the world, she'll probably cut you some slack, you're not your computer.

    Don't feel too bad about it, the jealously thing is a real monster. I know, I've been there. When another guy pulls a girl from you, you feel like shit and go into scarcity mode. You start thinking all the wrong thoughts. You lose your dominant frame and control of your actions, everything you do is from a frame of desperation, instead of being the fun, carefree guy who naturally attracts women. But I'm glad that stuff has happened to me, because it allowed me to work through it rather than keep on repressing it. You learn to see the world from a frame of abundance. I wish you the best.

  5. #5
    b18c is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I messed up by doing this?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cool Lover View Post
    My advice would be to learn from the experience. It sounds like you were coming from a weak frame and jealousy got the best of you in the moment. I think you should initiate contact from a stronger frame, but not all apologetic.

    Life's too short, there's so many women out there. What's wrong with having a few that are just friends? If you are escalating and she's not responding, then she's putting herself into your dreaded "friend zone", which is an imaginary concept anyway. But you can still go out with her as a pivot, game her social circle, etc... while benefiting from the preselection and social proof.

    I see where you were going, you wanted to give her the "If we can't be lovers then we can't be friends" ultimatum, which is bold and can work, but you were not direct and sincere, and you waited over a year. Sure, a jealousy plotline can work great, and seduction is won in the takeaway. You didn't even give her an ultimatum to respond to, you just made an emotional decision and ejected yourself. It's not the end of the world, she'll probably cut you some slack, you're not your computer.

    Don't feel too bad about it, the jealously thing is a real monster. I know, I've been there. When another guy pulls a girl from you, you feel like shit and go into scarcity mode. You start thinking all the wrong thoughts. You lose your dominant frame and control of your actions, everything you do is from a frame of desperation, instead of being the fun, carefree guy who naturally attracts women. But I'm glad that stuff has happened to me, because it allowed me to work through it rather than keep on repressing it. You learn to see the world from a frame of abundance. I wish you the best.
    I guess you're right. I invested so much time studying seduction but still no effect on her but works on any other girls I hooked up with. I guess I can't get every girl to like me. I'll probably contact her in a week or two. She doesn't really initiate contact first cuz she's very introverted, and I know she's upset and wondering cuz she also unfollowed me and unliked most of pics she liked before. Thanks for your input


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