I went out with a girl a couple of times. The second date (which was on Saturday) did not go that well. We just didn't really talk much about anything of any significance. Part of the problem is that the date we were on we were on a colonial farm and the staff there was just too talkative, we couldn't get a word in. Also, we ran short on time. Another problem was that I didn't like how the girl dressed and how she did her hair that day.
When I was getting close to her house, I told her I'd call her. This was an obvious downgrade because after the first date I told her that I want to see her again (but wasn't saying that this time). She may not have noticed the difference, though.
At the end, I didn't plan to kiss her. It was daytime and we got out of the car and were on her block. But, she seemed interested in kissing. So, we kissed for a pretty long period of time and then she pulled away. She wasn't tilting her head enough was part of the problem. Also, I am probably not that great at relatively short kissing sessions. Then we were saying our good byes and I kissed her again but only for short period. She was inviting of it in the sense that she held eye contact (difference between this and last time is that this time we were hugging so was more blatant that she was inviting of the kiss).
Then I texted her yesterday morning and was not the best texting but was ok.
Then today I call her to set up some plans. She texted me a little later and said she is not interested in me. Here is the exchange:
her: XXX, I hate to do this to you but I need to tell you I don't think we should continue seeing each other. I think you are a nice guy but I don't feel the chemistry is right.
me: Oh, come on. Dont put on this act. Maybe things haven't gone perfectly. Let's talk on phone for a minute.
(I thought she might be putting on an act as she went from basically initiating kissing to this.)
her: I don't want to talk if you are frustrated
her: or accusing me of an act
me: I don't think there is really tension or bad blood. I understand that things may not work out but you might be misunderstanding
her: I'm willing to listen. I'm just really uncomfortable with the phone. Would rather meet in person.
me: (I sent this text before reading hers right above this): What did you think of time we went out (I meant to write first time we went out?
her: I thought it was pleasant. We were getting to know each other. But sure, when do you want to meet up?
me: Let's meet tonight. This was (meant to say way) we will just get it over with.
me: and get a resolution
me: or semi resolution
me: I am jumping in shower now because...
her: I had my pupils dilated 2 hrs ago. it's hard to see. you can just call.
I talked to her and I was trying to get her to ask what the problem is. I tried asking simple questions like "you thought the second date didn't go so well?" "you don't like how I am on paper?" I couldn't really get info out of her.. except she did kind of say that it would be offensive for her to say. I said you were interested in kissing and all that has happened between then is about 5 lines of text. So you didn't like that text? She basically said no, that's not it. I said well, then why were you so interested in kissing me? She said that it was basically a last ditch effort in seeing if there was some kind of chemistry. Oh, and she was also trying to say that it's 100% not "happening" (meaning we are not continuing to date). But, she is going to meet up with me in the evening.
So, I will do my best when I meet up with her. But, I have never really been in a situation like this. Maybe I should start by trying to just treat it like a date. Just go at it from a mentality that haha, you wanted to stop dating but now we are out sooner than we would be for a date (without actually saying that). I am pretty interested actually as to what her objection is (so that can be plan B, to push for that info). To actually get this info out of her, maybe I have to give some criticisms of her. I am also not disinterested in being friends with her (my agenda would be that we bring each other into social scenes).
Here is another thread about her: